


The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break

by ElizaDarling



Series: Lost with You [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Age Difference, Alien Planet, Arguing, F/M, Jedi Rey, Lots of Arguing, Reyux, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Training, Wilderness Survival, in which Hux isn't Force sensitive but still needs to teach Rey a thing or two, in which Rey is captured by the First Order and circumstances bring her and Hux together, like 40s screwball comedy arguing, literally this is some Lord of the Flies survival shit or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 56,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6474739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaDarling/pseuds/ElizaDarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A shuttle on its way to the new First Order base strikes an anomaly and crash lands on an unknown planet, with the only survivors of the wreckage being Rey and General Hux. When Rey can't reach out to Luke and Leia, Hux realizes that though he's reluctant to believe in the Force, he must assist Rey in her training in order for them to leave alive. Reluctantly the two form an uneasy truce, both fully aware that, if they're going to survive, they need to work together and build on each other's skills. But in getting closer, the two see that affiliation doesn't matter as much when they see each other as people first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Just Followed Your Scent; You Can Just Follow My Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin, a very important message:
> 
> This quarter I'm taking an independent study class focused entirely on writing an entire novel (at least 40k words) by mid-June. Fanfiction is fair game, hence the creation of this story. If you choose to stick with me through this journey, just know that it will, at the very least, be interesting. And will likely update and be edited quite often.
> 
> Because there's not enough Rey/Hux in this world without the very prominent presence of Kylo Ren, I've decided to take matters into my own hands and create something for them. At the moment this fic will definitely be T-rated, but that rating will likely go up (in the future, as I intend to make this relationship a slow-building one). And given that I'm very hesitant when it comes to the SW universe (as I've never read the EU, but I've grown up with the entire series), this will definitely be a challenge.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 1: "I Just Followed Your Scent; You Can Just Follow My Smile"**

In a sea of white, a lone figure stood in stark contrast, when Rey came to. Her mind spun as her hazel eyes strained to adjust to the harsh, bright light permeating the room. What had initially knocked her out had been a blow to the head, and now the pain was coming to haunt her, throbbing in her temples. When she moved to shield her gaze with a hand, she grunted at the grim realization that she had—once again—been chained to a First Order interrogation chair, her wrists, arms, and ankles shackled her in place, restraining her movement. Rey grit her teeth, struggling, though she knew her efforts would not prove fruitful.

At least, not purely physically.

She could at least move her head from side to side to glance about the—ship, she realized when she saw how small the space was, with its cramped grey walls and low ceiling. However, with how Rey felt every bit of turbulence, she noticed that this was a smaller shuttle, not a huge Star Destroyer. She was in the middle of transportation to wherever the new First Order base was now located, after the destruction of Starkiller Base not months before.

Her eyes wandered from Stormtrooper to Stormtrooper, wondering just whose mind she could penetrate, which one would do just what she willed, which one was weak-minded enough to let her in. If she could just get _one_ of these identical, uniformed soldiers to follow her order…

"That won't help," a regal voice declared from directly before her.

Rey trained her gaze to the dark figure, whose face only looked whiter and paler in contrast to the black of his suit—his uniform, which was pressed to crisp perfection, with no present wrinkles. A black overcoat hung off his shoulders as a deception to the eye, to make himself appear larger than Rey suspected he actually was. Nothing about him looked out of place, from his boots that shone to his slicked hair.

"What won't?" she uttered, playing naïve. She challenged those green eyes, tried to stay focused on them. But her eyes couldn't help but trail back to his cheekbones, sharp enough to cut through glass. And they widened when she realized his hair—the shame shade of a Jakku sunset or open flame—was entirely _natural_ , in a shade Rey had never seen on another person before.

The man scoffed, the corners of his thick lips twitching upward ever so slightly before restoring back to a permanent scowl. "I know your intentions, girl," he assumed, his voice laced with nothing but contempt and disdain for her, though she had never seen this man before in her life. She certainly would have remembered that _hair_. "Influencing the mind of one of my Stormtroopers will do you little good."

Instead of leaving his explanation at that, he decided to further her anger by teasing her. "Besides, what would you do once you had them under your grasp…? Have you free, and then what? You have no weapon."

"I'll steal yours," Rey challenged. The First Order couldn't have gotten rid of her lightsaber. During her last confrontation with Kylo Ren, he'd tried to pull it from the snow. The Force had instead chose Rey as its rightful wielder, and she doubted Ren would give up on it that easily. Which meant it had to be somewhere on this shuttle.

Holding up his blaster, the man raised a brow. "Coded to my prints," he explained. "Don't even think about what will happen if you use it. Supreme Leader Snoke was _very specific_ in his orders—he wants you alive."

Rey only knew of Snoke from her brief training with Luke Skywalker, and even then his name was only said in passing, or in some sort of history lesson. His name carried a weight, a burden, where when General Organa mentioned him it was in anger and sadness, as he was the man that had corrupted Ben and tempted him into becoming the villainous Kylo Ren. What indeed, Rey wondered, would a man like that possibly want with her…? Perhaps as payback to what she had done to Ren, in defeating him, in deforming his face and coming out on top, though she had never wielded a lightsaber before that first battle. The mention of Snoke wanting _her_ sent a shiver down her spine. This flame-haired man's _presence_ made Rey shrink back in freight.

Because, unlike Kylo Ren, he didn't have to hide behind a mask. The notion of terror was ever present on his face.

Rey's biting words died on her tongue.

For what seemed like hours the man held her gaze, unwavering, unmoving—a psychological torture from which she couldn't escape. The walls then seemed to close in; the shuttle seemed to shake.

Or… _was_ the shuttle shaking…? The man finally broke his stare from Rey to glance about the room, his face clearly confused.

Another black-clad man peeked his head in the room. "General, we've detected an anomaly," he announced.

Given that the man turned at that, Rey deduced his rank. The General glanced back at her momentarily, gave her a last scowl and shuffled out of the room, his troops clinically falling behind, leaving her alone.

Though Rey figured she wasn't _truly_ alone—the General must have left a Stormtrooper or two behind, on the other side of the door, from where she could not see them, could not detect them, could not bend one to her will. Damn. The shuttle shook again, harder.

This was more than just some anomaly in space. Suddenly this became an actual danger, a threat that saw no affiliation. Was this an attack? Rey wondered. But if so, did the Resistance even know where the First Order was taking her? She struggled against the bonds, if only to just glance around and understand what was happening. The shuttle _had_ to be in lightspeed, right? So then how did—

The General stormed back in, a few strands of his red hair out of place. Within moments he leaned in her face, his gloved hands on either side of her bound arms. The intensity in his green eyes made Rey wonder just what was going through his mind, because when she tried to look in, he clearly had her blocked out, almost as if he'd locked his head from a Force user before. "Did you intentionally sabotage this ship, girl?" he accused, each word pronounced, crisp, terrifying. Rey immediately broke out into a sweat, unable to shrink back, unable to get away from him once again.

"What? _No_!" she cried, heart pounding as the ship shook. Rey shrieked when suddenly they were in a nosedive. Oh, _Kriff_ , this had to be the end… How did he possibly think _she_ had something to do with this damage? Sure, she could use the Force, but she wasn't all-powerful. It was because of her own arrogance and inexperience, after all, which had gotten her captured by the First Order in the first place. Defeating Kylo Ren, then, had just been some sort of beginner's luck. The General must be panicking as much as she was, and deep down, she could _feel_ he needed something—some _one_ —to blame for this misfortune.

He opened his mouth to speak again, as if to demand if she was lying, but with how the ship shook, Rey could tell they had indeed _hit_ something, and she wished she knew just what had happened, where it all went wrong. Then, a pull. Gravitational. The General slipped and slammed into her, and Rey screamed at the force of being pulled into a new atmosphere.

Faster, faster, everything tearing apart before her—if she could just… _go_ before impact, make her death _merciful_ , that's all she could wish for in this moment. She apologized for letting down her friends in the Resistance—Poe and Finn and BB-8 in particular, to Luke for letting him down as his padawan, to Leia for failing to bring back her son to the light. To her family, whoever they were, wherever they were, for never finding them.

With her feelings out in the void, no matter how silent, no matter that no one else would know, Rey had at least made _some_ peace with herself. And with that content thought, she closed her eyes, started to steady her breathing, and she gave herself completely over to the Force with a few final words: _Forgive me_.


	2. Don't You Worry 'Bout Me; I'mma Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did Rey end up in the hands of the First Order? After a motivating conversation with Poe and BB-8, Rey makes a decision that leaves her wondering if joining this particular battle was really worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much fun to write! Maybe during this process, I'll cut to more flashbacks, based on their relevance, as I love the potential dynamics Rey could have with everyone in the Resistance. The relationship between Rey and Poe was something I've always wanted to explore in particular (as that's a big brOTP of mine).
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's supported me so far! So here's the flashback before the action.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 2: "Don't You Worry 'Bout Me; I'mma Be Okay"**

BB-8 nudged Rey's leg with an enthusiastic beep, as if to say, " _Hey_!" Given that he was less than half her size, she hadn't even noticed him rolling by her, caught up in watching Luke and Leia discuss something privately, their voices hushed. All around the Resistance Base (relocated ever since the First Order had discovered the location of the last one), pilots scrambled to their respective vehicles; members working in communications took their seats, ready for the action.

And Rey had no idea what she was planning to do. A TIE Fighter had slipped up, had let the Resistance get a tracker on it, and now General Organa planned to follow a rather big lead—with a small army of First Order soldiers scouting for potential planets to build a new Starkiller Base. Desperately Rey wanted to join the fight. Ever since she realized just what the First Order could do (destroy whole planets from a singular location—!), she could feel this… _urge_ calling her toward the Resistance cause.

Unfortunately, Luke didn't think she was quite ready in her Jedi training.

Yet for a few months, she and Luke had trained in isolation, and he'd even declared her one of the quickest learners in the Force he'd ever seen. How could she possibly not be ready…? Had she really brought Luke back from his hiatus too soon? Or had being alone for fifteen years really gotten to his head?

Rey kneeled down to BB-8, chuckling at his feisty nature. The little round droid's spunk and attitude never ceased to amuse her—especially in his jabs about Finn, of whom he was still a bit wary (and because Finn just couldn't understand him anyway). "Oh… you. Your antenna's bent again," she observed, reaching over to straighten it out.

" _Are you coming with us_?" he asked, beeping rather quickly.

Sighing, Rey looked from her little friend, to Luke and Leia, still heavy in quiet conversation, then back to BB-8. "I _really_ want to," she confessed in a low voice. "Unfortunately, Luke doesn't think I'm ready yet."

BB-8 gestured his head to the east. " _He's not looking right now. Just take the_ Millennium Falcon," he suggested.

"You're terrible!" Rey scrunched her nose. Now that he'd put it in her head, she _was_ tempted. Always better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. Yet why didn't that feel right? " _No_ , I couldn't possibly. What if Leia needs me more down here?"

" _What if we need you more out there_?"

" _Buddy_ , you're not putting our friend here in a compromising position, are you?" a deep voice asked from just behind Rey.

Turning, she smiled, and a strong hand helped her back up to her feet. Poe Dameron's handsome smile and tousled dark hair might have made most of the girls on the base swoon, and while Rey noted his good-looking features, she'd always suspected, well, with the way Poe and Finn _looked_ at each other lately…

"No, just making a really tempting offer," Rey assured, unable to stop the grin from growing on her face. She straightened out her vest, occupying her hands with something after parting contact from Poe.

"Yeah, well…" Poe shrugged, not denying that he wanted Rey out on the battlefield just as much as BB-8 did. "You're a damn great pilot and someone needs to be the buffer in between Chewie and Finn."

"True." Rey laughed, and BB-8 beeped in agreement. "But I need to respect Luke as well. He doesn't think I'm versed well enough in my training to go out there yet." She cast her eyes back to the Skywalker twins, who had finally parted after a lingering hug.

"Hey." Poe clapped a strong hand on Rey's shoulder so she could look back at him. "When you kicked Kylo Ren's ass back on Starkiller Base, were you at some high level in your training?" he asked.

Closing her eyes, Rey knew just where this was going. Damn. "No," she replied. "I just… felt it."

"Exactly." Poe nudged her playfully, and BB-8 of course encouraged him on. " _Exactly_. You've got that sink or swim instinct. You just act in the heat of the moment because you know what's right, and what you're supposed to do. You _feel_ it, you don't think about it." When she looked down again (because she _knew_ he was right), he gently turned her chin to glance back at him. His dark eyes could really persuade anyone to do anything. "You're _incredible_ , Rey. And with you in the fight, the First Order doesn't stand a chance."

She scrunched her nose again, and this time, Rey was the one to nudge him. "You're even worse than BB-8," she teased. "But… fine. I'll talk to Luke. You two go load up your X-Wing."

"Roger that," Poe saluted, before clapping Rey on the back. BB-8 followed behind loyally, but there was a certain enthusiasm in his rolling now that he knew Rey would try and join them.

Taking a deep breath, Rey adjusted the strap of her staff, slung over her shoulder as she approached Luke and Leia. "General," she addressed, and Leia nodded back. And then, to her teacher, "Master Luke, I'd like to speak with—"

"It's okay," he interrupted, his voice rather calm. "I know you want to join the battle. When I was about your age I was at the same crossroads in my training."

"You were?" Rey perked up, wondering if this meant he would let her go.

"I felt my friends were in trouble. My master advised I should stay behind and complete my training, and I instead went off to save them—and paid the consequences," he explained, showing off his robotic hand.

… And Rey's face fell. Which meant Luke was probably going to make her stay behind, so she didn't make the same mistake he did. "So… you want me to stay behind, then," she assumed, biting the inside of her lip. "So I don't repeat the past."

"No," Luke replied, though his matured face seemed to appear more… somber. "I want you to make that decision for yourself. Just make sure you understand just what could happen if you decide to join the fight. And that you make sure to have great friends." He gave a glance to Leia, who wrapped an arm around her brother.

At Rey's confused look, Leia stepped in to explain. "I've saved his life a few times." The twinkle in her eye _definitely_ suggested that this was the woman who killed Jabba the Hutt with nothing but a chain and her bare hands.

"I have incredible friends," Rey assured. Knowing she had permission, all she could think about was boarding the _Falcon_ with Chewie and Finn. "And I want to be part of this, in where I know I'll be most helpful."

"But I want you to understand that you shouldn't be too proud, Rey, like I was," Luke warned as Rey started toward the _Falcon_. "You're still my padawan, and I want you to complete your training soon."

"As do I," Rey agreed, stepping up onto the ramp that led to the entrance of the ship. "And I promise you, training is my top priority. I'm coming back to complete it."

"Rey…" Luke gazed up at her like he wanted to say something else. When Rey tried to read him, nothing was becoming clear.

But he shook his head and instead shot her a gentle smile. "May the Force be with you."

And with that, Rey just nodded and walked into the ship, joining Chewie in the cockpit. He growled appreciatively, and Rey grinned as they started the ship up. It may be an ancient bucket of bolts, but she was starting to grow rather fond of the thing—it did run rather well now that she'd modified it back to as close to its former glory as she and Chewie could.

Finn peeked his head into the cockpit, practically glowing when he saw Rey next to the Wookie. As always, he donned the jacket Poe had given him. "You're joining us!" he exclaimed, patting her shoulder with his large, dark hand. "And here I thought Chewie would be yelling at me for butchering the co-pilot seat."

"I guess that makes me your savior, then." Rey shot Finn a wink, just as she and Chewbacca started the Falcon up and got in touch with the rest of the team.

* * *

"Black Leader, requesting permission to land for ground combat," Rey declared, maneuvering the _Falcon_ quickly to avoid damage from all the TIE Fighters shooting. While Finn proved decent at taking down a few of their enemies, Rey felt she could get more done on the ground, where she could test her new powers. Poe and Snap and Jess more than held their own against the First Order, but the troops on the ground obviously needed help.

"Rey, if you land the _Falcon_ , it'll be destroyed—those First Order bastards will be all over it," Poe warned. How he could talk so calmly in the face of danger never ceased to amaze her.

"Poe's right," Finn agreed, as usual. "This ship is going down over our dead bodies."

Damn. Even Chewie conceded agreeing with them. Rey sighed, trying to think of some solution to get herself down there. "… Fine. I'll open the main hatch close to the ground and jump out," she decided.

" _What_?" Finn exclaimed, and Rey half expected him to leave his post to confront her face-to-face instead of from the other side of the ship. "Rey, that's insane!"

"I can do it!" Rey assured, sounding far more defensive than usual. "We _need_ more people fighting on the surface. And I want to be down there helping them."

Chewie growled a protest, but started heading closer to the ground. With a sad smile, she pet the fur on his arm. "Thank you, my friend."

"Rey? _Rey_!" Finn tried. "This has to be one of your craziest ideas yet! Don't do it!"

"… Good luck, Rey. You're gonna need it," Poe finally uttered, and Rey let Chewie take over the cockpit as she left. While Force flipping wasn't her strongest suit, she could use the practice. And Poe had said it himself: she could _act_ , and that's when she was most powerful.

She took deep breaths as Chewie declared they were close enough for her to jump. Rey stepped on the platform that rose up to the top hatch, and opened it, feeling the wind whipping the buns at the back of her head. When Chewie tilted the ship around, that's when she would make her leap into the battle.

When she did jump, Rey let the Force guide her quickly into the crux of the action. As soon as she landed on her feet, she pulled her lightsaber from her thigh holster, and let her instincts take over. Fight or flight. Sink or swim. Act before thinking. She kept Poe's words in mind, trying to use what she already knew to her advantage against the Stormtroopers that immediately went on the attack, that saw her weapon and immediately _knew_ this was the girl who'd defeated Kylo Ren. Them seeing her as a threat—Rey wasn't sure whether or not to feel a bit flattered or a bit frightened. They wanted her out of here. They focused all their attention on _her_ rather than the troops they were already slaughtering.

Others in the Resistance rushed to help her, hold them off. Rey tried for a Force push, but with her mind focused so much more on how to defeat these Stormtroopers, she couldn't do it. Damn. Maybe Luke was right; she _wasn't_ fully ready for this, especially since they knew just what she was capable of. And the more that doubt kept creeping into her mind, the more Rey let it get to her.

She went back for the attack with her lightsaber, which proved much better. With it, she could block blaster fire, hold them back, take them down… But any of the other moves she tried, moves that Luke had just taught her, _those_ were the ones that failed. And yet, _those_ were the ones that would take the enemy down quicker. Just as she thought a blast would hit her, an X-Wing shot close, distracting a few of them.

In that quick moment where Rey could breathe, she looked up and shot Poe a grateful salute, before jumping back into battle.

And then, before she knew it, a very precise blaster shot grazed the hand that held her lightsaber. Yelping, her reflexes kicked in, and she dropped it—damn! Who had made that shot?

As Rey hopped down to grab it again, trying to get back to her previous actions, another shot almost grazed her ear. Those troops… their aim was either getting better or Rey was faltering.

" _No_!" a commanding voice ordered. "The Supreme Leader wants the girl alive!"

And then, unlike when Kylo Ren had knocked her out with the Force, someone clocked Rey upside the back of her head, hard enough for her to black out. So much for being the Resistance's secret weapon—she should have stayed behind with Luke and Leia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm starting to get into the hang of writing this thing! As always, reviews are always appreciated.


	3. I Woke up in a Stranger's Bed, with Pins and Needles in My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just realized how insane I am for dedicating myself to writing a whole novel by the end of the quarter, but too late to change now! I am kind of having a blast writing this, though, and I'm glad this is getting some support. Honestly, I've been a bit down on this ship when I see just how little there is for it, and how much there is for other ships I don't really like that much. But I can't give up, since I'm getting graded on writing this. Besides, we're starting to get into the fill crux of the story, anyway.
> 
> So, here's chapter three!

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 3: "I Woke up in a Stranger's Bed, with Pins and Needles in My Head"**

The ringing permeating her ears wouldn't go away when Rey miraculously regained consciousness. Somehow, some way she had survived the crash, and if she could just _move_ she would be able to assess the damage, to her body and to whatever was left of the ship. To see if there were any other survivors.

 _Move a finger_. _Move a toe_. _Move_ something, _Rey_ , she repeated over and over in her head, trying her damnedest to get her body to cooperate. Slowly she twitched a finger, against some sort of soil, she observed. Then her arm, which she began to ease up so she could sit properly. Then, her eyes, which blinked rapidly to get used to the light.

Why was she sweating so profusely? Why did it feel so difficult to breathe? Did this have anything to do with the crash, or the atmosphere? Above Rey's head, she noticed a canopy of deep green, and the dirt beneath her felt moist. In just what kind of environment did she find herself? The air around her hung heavy, and while Rey had accustomed herself to warm weather, this felt… so different. Hotter. Thicker. Nothing at all like the dryness on Jakku.

This whole time, she'd been looking up, when really she needed to stop assessing the environment—as she would have plenty of time to do that—and observed herself for any terrible injuries. A scratch on her cheek, which she felt once she regained more feeling in her body. Ripped shirt. Ripped pants. Twisted left leg, but it wasn't broken—maybe sprained. Cuts that were not dire. Upon impact, the First Order interrogation chair must have shattered, but it could have been what had saved her life (though she felt more deeply the Force had been what had kept her alive). All in all, Rey had miraculously made it through this terrible crash with very minor injuries—and she considered herself both eternally grateful and quite lucky. But had anyone else made it?

Rey massaged her ankle, then finally looked around.

Her breath caught right in her throat. For surrounding her were the bodies of Stormtroopers, unmoving, completely gone. Some had been impaled by parts of the ship. Some had cracked helmets, and near her Rey saw that one could not have been much older than her. In that moment Rey did not see the enemy slain, but the faces of Finn's former colleagues, who had not expected such a fate. Far worse, these were only about half the troops she'd seen—where had the other half of the ship gone? Lost in space somewhere? Somewhere else on the planet? And while some parts of the ship surrounding her could be salvaged, these were parts Rey would use to trade off or use for minor fixings on her speeder or in her home, they weren't enough to construct… well, anything rather useful to get herself out of here.

Get herself out—the Force! If she could just call out to Luke or Leia, send off her location to them, _maybe_ she could still be rescued. She couldn't recognize this environment or the planet in the maps she had studied during her time with the Resistance, but she'd only just arrived. Maybe at night, when she could see stars, she could perfectly place her location. For now, though, while there was still light, she needed to strategize. Who knew how long she would be stuck in such a place?

Rey closed her eyes and tried to block out her insecurities—her thinking she would never be able to leave, in not knowing if anyone else had survived—and tuned herself into the Force, weak as it began to flow through her. _All_ she needed to do was contact Luke or Leia. She could do that… right? After all, Luke had always assured her of her natural skills, had always claimed she could do anything if she really put herself into it—if she _needed_ it.

But all Rey sensed, after meditating for a small while, was complete silence, as if she could not project what she wanted— _needed_ —as far as she needed to. As if she truly _were_ all alone. Just what kind of planet _was_ this? _Where_ was it? And why could she not get in touch with Luke or Leia? Her cockiness in her powers had been her downfall against the First Order, she knew. So did that breach over into this madness as well? If she could not sense them, then… would she _ever_ be able to leave?

Frantically she glanced around, swallowing thickly as she tried to stomach the bodies of those fallen. But she eventually rose to her feet, a bit wobbly on her twisted ankle. She took a few cautious steps, making sure to not touch the slain Stormtroopers. If only she didn't have to continue glancing down at them… " _Is anyone out there_?" she called, her voice shaky, broken, uncertain. Just one familiar voice, that's all she needed. Just one indication that she had _someone_ in this weary predicament.

" _Anyone_?" she tried again, hands balling into fists to try and prevent the tears that threatened to prick her eyes.

And then, a few moments later, an annoyed voice huffed, " _Yes_ , over here!"

Rey slowly followed the sound of that voice, trying to regain the spring in her step. _That_ voice—the one that sounded as if there were a permanent scowl laced in each syllable. The voice of the man who'd called for her capture. The voice of the man with flame hair, who accused her of somehow stranding them here.

She spotted the General sitting atop some of the wreckage under the protection of the dark green canopy above, that frown ever present. A few strands of his usually neat, bright hair flopped over his pale face, which had started to taint with red due to the thick weather. Timidly she approached him, watching him unbutton his coat with his left hand. His gloves had been lost or put away, she'd observed, as his hands had the same, white color as his face. As far as injuries went, Rey didn't notice anything out of the ordinary—torn hem, torn pants, scuffed boots. A cut over his left eyebrow. He'd been so close to her at the time of impact—did that have something to do with his survival, she wondered.

The General shrugged his right arm out of his thick coat, and Rey paled at the unusual twist of it. Oh Kriff, it'd broken upon impact, she suspected. He hid his pain well, she realized, as the bone had not yet been set, and he probably could not do that without assistance.

Without thinking, something inside Rey compelled her to sit beside him on the wreckage, as she _knew_ he would need her. He flinched at her closeness, his frown growing deeper. "I didn't ask for your help, girl," he sneered, drawing his broken arm closer to his chest.

Eyes slitting, Rey tried to ignore the disdain in his voice as she still reached forward. "Just let me see it," she said, keeping her voice as soothing as she could muster, despite his apparent disgust. "You can't set the bone one handed—it won't heal correctly."

The man glanced at her a few tense moments, assessing if she was worth the trouble, she assumed, but conceded with a sharp nod. "Don't make it worse," he warned, starting to roll the sleeve of his right arm up.

Rey's hand darted out to his, stopping him. "No, take your shirt off," she ordered, figuring a more authoritative tone might get him to listen to her. When he lifted a brow, she rolled her eyes. She hadn't really noticed her hand still on his to make him still. "What? This will make it easier."

Silently he used his good hand to pull his shirt up from the hem, and Rey finally moved her hands to assist him, keeping her touch especially gentle once she reached his broken arm. Under the layers of his dark uniform, Rey noted the thinness of his frame, how small he actually appeared, like he _needed_ to make himself look larger to intimidate his troops. Did he even eat much? Rey suspected he was thin enough to fit into _her_ clothing. And how did he appear so pale, almost pure white? She tried not to let her eyes linger too long, especially on two twin scars marring his shoulder blades, as she started to remove one of the wraps on her arm for a makeshift bandage. The other one she would try and use as a splint.

"Brace yourself," she warned, looking into his eyes as her hands moved to set the bone.

He gave a single nod, his left hand balling up the fabric of his pants. With that Rey quickly set the bone into place, and he gave no more than a grunt to acknowledge his pain.

And now, Rey needed to find support, so the bone could heal properly. "Stay there," she uttered as she stood again, looking upon the wreckage for any parts she could use. The Stormtroopers around them still made Rey uneasy, but she _needed_ to look. As a scavenger, though, the task shouldn't prove too difficult, and already she started to notice parts of the broken ship that could be used in helping their survival. _Aha_. She picked up a few broken metal rods, which would do here in a pinch, before returning to the General, who kept his gaze solely on his arm, keeping it in correct position.

Rey sat close to him again, and this time he didn't shy away from her touch as she used a wrap to bandage the support to his arm, trying to keep it tight. "Am I hurting you?" she asked, looking back up at him.

"No," he replied, his face softening. Still, the frown was present.

She finished off her makeshift bandage, hoping this would do for now. The General said nothing—didn't thank her, didn't acknowledge she'd even done anything. He just picked up his shirt and attempted to put it on again, without her assistance. But Rey intervened anyway, ignoring the annoyed gaze he gave her as soon as she helped thread his broken arm back in its proper sleeve. He even placed his coat back over his shoulders despite the temperature. Was his affiliation to the First Order cause really that strong?

"You're welcome?" she tried, but he wouldn't even meet her gaze. It was like he was trying to _ignore_ her, show her she wasn't worth his precious time. But despite the refusal of acknowledgment, Rey still tried to get his attention.

"Are you right hand dominant?" she then asked, and he turned his head to her, clearly annoyed.

"Do you really need to ask so many frivolous questions?" he quipped, raising a flame brow.

"I need to _know_ , since it seems we're the only ones who made it out of this mess alive," she returned, her patience starting to wear thin. Was her own affiliation to the Resistance really what made him so distant? Sure, Rey did not approve of the First Order or their tactics, but she had to put that aside if it meant surviving here for however long.

"… Fine. I am," he admitted, looking back out across the crash site.

So this broken arm was far more of a hindrance, Rey reasoned, taking her other arm wrap to keep his arm level and in place. He flinched away from the touch again, but then allowed her to continue after a moment, knowing this was a necessity for his arm to heal more quickly.

A First Order general and a padawan learner, stuck together on some unknown planet for survival. It sounded impossible to do, especially with this man's apparent adoration for his side, but even Rey started to notice the realization that they needed to work together starting to sink in.

"I'm Rey," she decisively introduced, figuring he didn't seem to know or care about her name. But he needed to learn it. She reached over and finished off the splint at his left shoulder, before looking back into those cold, green eyes. "And I know you're a general, but I'd like to know your name, as your rank sounds too… official for our predicament."

He opened his mouth, as if to protest, but stopped himself. Rey waited patiently as he slowly looked back over at her, running a hand through his hair, to smooth it out. A few strands still stuck out, and she couldn't help but find him much more approachable, less rigid.

Finally, he turned to her, meeting her gaze again as he replied, "… Hux."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus the OTP meets. And don't worry, there's plenty of arguing on the way.
> 
> As always, reviews and critiques are greatly appreciated.


	4. If You Wanna Make It through the Night, You Better Say My Name Like the Good, the Bad, and the Dirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a bit, but it is midterms. To those worried that this won't be finished, I assure you, it will very soon! I did say I needed 40k words of this by mid-June.
> 
> And, as promised, some bickering between Rey and Hux. Enjoy!

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 4: "If You Wanna Make It through the Night, You Better Say My Name Like the Good, the Bad, and the Dirty"**

A Jedi-in-training and a First Order general, stranded on a remote planet. It sounded like the beginning of a terrible joke, yet Rey couldn't let herself see any humor in this situation. Neither could Hux, apparently. Rey wondered if he'd ever given a smile, if he even knew what that was. She watched as he observed her makeshift splint with a meticulous eye, looking for mistakes, _something_ on which he could criticize her.

"I assure you, I'm not _incompetent_ ," she answered, though he hadn't accused her aloud. His expression conveyed everything, however. Total disdain, complete annoyance, ample disgust. What was it about her that turned him off so terribly? She needed a _conversation_ , a discussion on how they were going to work together to survive. He couldn't have possibly given up, could he?

"Must you always fill the silence with the sound of your shrill voice…?" he asked instead, starting to stand.

" _Excuse_ me for wanting to discuss how we're going to work together," Rey quipped, standing as well. Whenever she moved to try and face him, Hux would always turn his back to her. "You can't possibly think you can do this alone, do you?"

He had the gall to scoff, before finally turning to her. "I think I'd rather work alone than try and survive with the likes of you." Sizing her up and down, he added for good measure, "Resistance scum."

Gaping, Rey stood her ground, planting her weight on spread feet. How _dare_ he! She had an earful for the First Order, but here was not the place to do it. "Is that really all you can see when you look at me?" she exclaimed.

"I'm sure it's all you see when you look at _me_ ," he shot back, gesturing to his uniform. "A First Order dog, no doubt."

"I don't want that to be the case!" she admitted, throwing her hands up. "I'm willing to get to know _you_ , because I have hope we'll get out of here."

"Why? Have you contacted your base? Do you really think they'd return me back to the First Order?"

Rey hadn't really thought of it that way. He had a point—the name "Hux" did sound familiar, after all. She remembered once in passing Finn had mentioned him as his old superior, that he led the Stormtroopers that had been trained since birth. One of the main members of the trifecta of the First Order—and Rey just so happened to have the pleasure of being stranded on a planet with him. The Resistance would surely want him dead, or better yet, for interrogation. No wonder he shut himself off so completely.

"I haven't been able to reach anyone through the Force," Rey confessed, balling her fists at her sides. She had to set her gaze down, focusing her eyes on the moist soil beneath her feet. "My arrogance in my powers was my downfall, and now here I am, paying for it. I don't have enough reach or experience. It's… silent out there."

When she looked up again, Hux had taken his good hand, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "… What?" she asked after a moment, knowing he had _something_ on his mind.

Hux just shook his head, dropping his hand. "It's nothing," he lied, stepping away from her.

Damn. She thought she might have opened something up within him, but it seemed his default was to just shut himself down, project that tough, rigid, military self to which he was so accustomed. Rey finally moved to keep up with Hux, gently tapping his good shoulder. "You know something about the Force that could help me," she assumed. With how he'd faltered, she'd read it on his face.

"I'm a man of science, not _magic_." And there was that stubborn nature, which Rey observed on him more and more. There was this… shield he wouldn't let down, and Rey wasn't sure if it was her, their situation, or something much deeper than that.

"But you _know_ it exists," she replied, her voice taking on a softer tone. Not to mention his previous statement made little sense. "I'm sure you've seen Kylo Ren use it—seen _me_ use it."

He stayed silent, so Rey had to coax him a bit more. "If you can assist my training, I'm sure I can work something out with the Resistance," she assured. It was a risk she was willing to take.

When Hux tilted his head at Rey, brows raised as if to ask if she was possibly serious, she continued, "Really, if you can think of _anything_ that can help me reach out to L—my master, I will vouch for you." And Rey knew the meaning of a promise, especially how much of a stretch this particular one entailed. Even if she held up her end of this bargain, who was to say the Resistance would honor it?

But she was willing to take the risk—what else did either of them have to lose, really?

"… Fine," he reluctantly agreed, after staring at her intently a few moments, no doubt trying to place if she meant her word or not. "I may know a thing or two from the Supreme Leader and Ren."

"Good." And since he wasn't taking any initiative to interact with her, Rey had to take things into her own hands, lead _him_. Or at least, she assumed she could. "Now, we should find a water source and set up a sort of camp there for the time being," she decided.

And then, back to the more rigid general. "You don't get to order me around, girl," he warned.

This time, it was Rey's turn to scoff. "I'm not _ordering_ you—it's just the most logical next step if you want to survive out… wherever we are." Again, why was it so thick and hot? And what was he doing, still wearing the entirety of his uniform? She wiped her brow, surprised by the amount of sweat that had already gathered just from standing around.

"I say we gather what weapons we can here before heading out," Hux suggested, gesturing to the various blasters spread about the wreckage. Some Stormtroopers still held theirs.

Rey moved her gaze back up to Hux. "Did anything of mine make it?" she asked, meaning her lightsaber. Her precious staff, luckily, had been left back on the Resistance base, as she had been in a hurry to join the battle that gotten her in this predicament.

Sighing, Hux used his good hand to reach into the inside pocket of his coat, pulling out Rey's lightsaber. "The Supreme Leader had specific instructions to keep you alive, and to gather this for Ren." But he handed it back to her, knowing that no matter what, she'd somehow get her hands on it.

"It's better than it being lost again," Rey replied, placing it in her thigh holster. She could actually be grateful he kept it on his person, as it would prove very useful out here.

As she tried to look past the Stormtroopers, Rey reached over to gather a few blasters, slinging them over her shoulders. What were they even going to do about this wreckage? Was this planet even completely remote? What if an unknown creature came through here? Would they just deal with that as it came?

Given his broken arm, Hux couldn't gather as many blasters, but with what they had, this was enough for now. Squinting her eyes, Rey looked up at the sky and figured that, with the position of the sun, they had a few hours before they needed a fire going for a source of light. And given that there was no way to scavenge some of this wreck in one trip, Rey figured that water should be their top priority. Firewood and other supplies, they would gather after their search. And she was starting to get a bit thirsty, from the arguing. She doubted that, with his stubbornness, it wouldn't cease anytime soon.

His gloves were gone, Rey finally noticed as Hux licked his finger to gather where there might be wind, and from what direction. The heat had gotten to his skin, made his cheeks pink and flushed, like he wasn't used to the outdoors, used to this weather. And Rey, while her skin had acclimated to desert heat, could hardly deal with the humidity. The air's thick presence made Rey feel as if she were in another atmosphere, like breathing was a difficult labor.

Hux said nothing, and just began to trek in an arbitrary direction, at least respecting the fallen by slowly avoiding stepping on any of the wreckage, or their bodies. Rey figured, why not—even he seemed to realize that they needed to stick together, despite affiliation, despite past tensions. Whether or not he'd stop seeing her as little more than scum unworthy of being stuck on the bottom of his boot, she wasn't sure, but she had to be willing to put that all aside for their survival, especially with the deal they'd just struck.

She pulled out her lightsaber, activating it. He turned to her sharply, his frown deepening.

"I'm going to mark every fifth tree, so if we need to go back to the wreckage at any point, we won't get lost," she explained, quickly striking a slash over the bark of the tree nearest to her.

Again, Hux didn't speak, only nodded in acknowledgment before continuing on. And while Rey didn't mind the silence, as it was better than his previous animosity, a part of her wanted to start a conversation with him, learn something about him other than that he was right handed and he had a blaster coded to his prints. After all, who knew how long they'd be here? They couldn't be silent forever. She marked the next tree.

Rey looked down at her lightsaber, then ahead at Hux, who, even with a broken arm, still walked relatively quickly. "Shouldn't you let me go ahead, seeing as I'm a bit more capable of defending us?" she suggested.

Hux turned to Rey with a sneer, his blaster in hand. "I can shoot with my less dominant hand, scum," he declared, before promptly turning back around to keep walking.

Why must he keep insulting her? Underestimating her? Rey angrily slashed the next fifth tree, speeding her pace to keep up with him.

"Don't call me 'scum'!" she exclaimed. "I should be walking ahead!"

Instead of answering, and without stopping, Hux shot at the tree five ahead of the last she'd marked, hitting it right in their line of vision. "Drop it and shut up," he warned. "Your mouth breathing and comments don't cease to annoy me. And with how much noise you're making, I wouldn't _be_ surprised if some creature came running after you."

She'd been called far worse. She'd been yelled at far worse. Yet he had this way of crawling under her skin, of making her prickle in intimidation and annoyance, and instead of shutting up, she couldn't help but groan in frustration, slashing her saber over the mark Hux had made not moments earlier.

"And _this_ is why you're not walking ahead." Rey could _feel_ the smirk in his voice.

"Why, because you think I'm immature? That I'm just a _girl_?" He wondered why she was yelling, and it was because he kept… _Why_ was he annoying her so much? "You really think you're that much of a leader?"

He stopped, and again turned to her, clearly just as annoyed and frustrated. Would this even work out, if they yelled at each other this much already? His eyes slit as he inclined toward her. "Listen, girl—"

"Let's make one thing _very_ clear," Rey interrupted, taking a step forward. She certainly wasn't afraid of a First Order General with a broken arm. "My name is not ' _girl_ ,' or ' _scum_ ,' or even ' _Resistance scum_ ,' it's _Rey_. And if we're going to survive this ordeal, then we _have_ to start getting along."

Hux stopped, actually considering what she'd said for a few moments. The frown didn't cease, but he at least tried to listen to her. Yet, instead of talking, instead of agreeing, instead of _apologizing_ , he just turned back around, pointing slightly to his left. "That's where the wind is coming from. If you want to lead so badly, do it."

Rey pursed her lips, considering it. Sure, he was conceding, yet… he was also ordering her around still. She slowly walked around Hux and followed in the direction he'd told her to go, wishing she weren't so out of breath so soon. The damned humidity must be a large cause of that, and the lack of water caused the edges of her vision to blur, signs of dehydration starting to kick in with her temples beginning to throb. But in the pursuit of water, she trekked on.

He must have been in the same boat, as all Rey could hear as soon as she started leading was his breathing, growing harsher by the minute, the crunch of leaves and twigs under their boots, and the sound of her lightsaber harshly marking every fifth trunk. Usually her arm wraps kept the sun from burning her skin on Jakku, but here she was grateful she'd given them to Hux, as every few moments she wiped her brow or forehead, looking down to find her arms glistening with sweat. Damn, if they didn't find water soon…

Rey tried to take in more of her surroundings, get more of a sense of her environment besides the heat, the humidity, and the deep greenery. This wasn't Takodana, with its clear air and calm, green scenery. Everything about this planet screamed heavy and harsh, an environment to which Rey knew she wasn't at all accustomed, and she doubted that, with Hux's complexion, he knew much about it, either. Strange, flying creatures flew overhead every once in a while (and luckily did not take notice to them), and Rey wondered, as well, if they would eat something like that for survival. The trees, at least, provided a bit of shade from the bright sun, though it didn't do much for how the thick heat surrounded her like a palpable entity. She doubted she could feel the Force as strongly as she felt the air around her.

So when the air thinned a _hair_ , a renewed energy came to Rey. Could this be it…? She picked up the pace, somehow knowing they were close to what they needed. Hux picked up on this too, Rey noted, when she subtly looked behind her to see him walking just a bit closer to her. She paused her breathing for a moment, and _listened_. A few calls of creatures, a few rustling of leaves, and… the sound of rushing _water_.

Lo and behold, a few paces ahead, Rey made her way through to a clearing, and just ahead, a wide river. Despite her dehydration, she sprinted toward the source, turning her lightsaber off. She barely noticed Hux following, as reaching this one goal enamored her completely. _Please be fresh_ , she prayed, dropping to her knees. She cupped the cool water in her hands and took a gulp, sighing at the taste. While the water was a bit murky, and not as filtered as the water on the Resistance base, it still would do, and tasted much better than what she'd been given on Jakku.

"Thank the Maker!" she cried, just relieved that this essential necessity had been so quickly found. She could dive right in, but for now, Rey continued to cup her hands in the river and drank handful after handful, completely disregarding Hux beside her, and therefore not caring just how desperate she looked, how much she _needed_ this.

When she had her fill, water running down her chin and dripping onto the front of her torn shirt, Rey took another handful to splash over her face. On Jakku, water was rationed, to where this river here was considered a luxury, where she could come and drink whenever she pleased, rather than having to trade for it from spare parts in her scavenging. _Rarely_ did she have enough to freshen her face, and when she sat back, satisfied, Rey watched Hux, even in just as desperate a state, showing restraint in using only his good hand to drink.

Was this restraint, she wondered, because Hux only had one hand, or because he always kept up appearances? Despite the heat he _still_ wore his First Order suit as completely as he could, undershirt and all, with his hair messily slicked back. Each drop of water he consumed completely and neatly, with not one drop running down his chin.

"I can help," Rey offered after a moment, reaching in for another handful of water, offering to assist, if needed.

"No, I'm fine." Gone was the bite of his earlier words, the snappiness. If he wanted to adjust to this despite his injury, then by all means, Rey wouldn't stop him. So she sat back, heaving a sigh of great relief. She turned back to face the water, rather than turning to watch Hux.

After a few moments, he turned to her, nodding sharply. "Your instincts aren't _absolutely_ terrible, Rey."

Rey hid her smile behind her hand, surprised he'd given her even one decent comment. He'd said her name this time (rather nicely, she might add), rather than a demeaning moniker—and that made the smile wider, glad something she'd said had gotten through to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to take a moment to appreciate those who have commented and reviewed so far, showing their support for this pairing. I do feel like I struggle with Reyux as a pairing, as there aren't a lot of fans for it, but I'm so glad you're out there! Your comments really help with me finding my muse for writing this fic, so thank you so much!


	5. Ain't It Good to be on Your Own? Ain't it Fun? You Can't Count on No One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So earlier this week I did have a bout of sadness over this ship and its lack of representation, and doubt in myself, but the only way to make people more aware of the ship is to write more for it, right? So I'm sticking more with it.
> 
> Watching TFA again did give me muses for both, though. I'm thinking this story will be about 15-20 chapters for now.

**_The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break_ **

**Chapter 5: “Ain’t It Good to Be on Your Own? Ain’t It Fun? You Can’t Count on No One”**

            While Rey opted more for the two of them sticking together no matter what, she noticed how low the sun had gotten, when she and Hux had their fill of water for the time being. Before nightfall they need to start a fire, if just for light, and see what they could start salvaging for a shelter, for hunting supplies, for whatever they might need that could be essential to their survival. Of course, they could always take multiple trips, but to just get _something_ for the night would at least show Rey just where they stood against the nature here. Continued training, as well, probably wouldn’t begin until tomorrow.

            Slowly she stood, gathering her saber again. How nice it’d been, to relax where the air was a bit thinner, where she could have as much water as she pleased. But duty came first, and Hux sensed this when she got up, to only struggle a bit to stand, only his own blaster in hand. All the rest, from the fallen Stormtroopers, they gathered in a pile, as backup weapons when their own were inconvenient. As she made her way to assist, he scoffed and held up his good hand.

            “I need to learn to do this on my own and a broken arm won’t make me an invalid,” he bluntly explained, and Rey knew she probably wouldn’t get a response any more polite than that. Besides, he had a point—if she’d been the one with the broken arm, she’d try and act on her own as well, rather than ask for much assistance.

            “Fine,” she conceded, starting to make her way back in the direction they’d came, with the full realization that she wouldn’t have water again until she brought something here from the wreckage. But she at least understood the direction in which the river ran, and the sun’s position from the clearing, where he shadow lie. “I’m going to go salvage a few things back at the wreck, and it’d probably be best if—“

            “Firewood,” he understood, finishing for her. “I’ll stay along the path you created here, I suppose, to not get lost.”

            He… listened. And he seemed to get just what she wanted from him. Did he really relinquish control so quickly? Somehow Rey doubted it—he must have just been too sated and tired from their previous arguing, and she could only expect something worse over the course of their time here together. She _had_ to be at least a bit on her guard—much as she promised herself she couldn’t judge him too harshly, given their predicament, he was still a First Order general, one that had threatened to harm her and deliver her personally to Snoke and Kylo Ren.

            Nodding, Rey jogged on ahead, using her renewed energy to follow the path she’d made from striking every fifth tree to more easily find the wreckage of the shuttle. Now that the sun was a bit lower she could bear the heat more, not feeling it so strongly surrounding her. Still, even in early evening, there permeated a heavy warmth that probably would never go away. She needed a canteen, she realized—one she could use to just carry water whenever she went out to explore. Perhaps she could create one from some of the wreckage, and maybe one for Hux as well. Her cooking utensils back on Jakku, after all, had been salvaged from the Star Destroyer she’d been picking apart for the past few years. Surely she could get creative with a First Order shuttle.

            Making her way back to the wreckage took much less time, though by the time she noticed the scraps, they no longer glistened in the sun. Looking amongst the fallen, she took a moment to hold a hand over her heart. They deserved a silent moment. They deserved a moment of respect, as none of them expected to go down in such an anomaly—they expected that, should they go down, it would be in valiant battle.

            She gathered a few large pieces of scrap as what she figured might be decent for sleep, or shelter, or _something_. A few rods, which might prove useful. In her mind she tried to picture different things she could make, different ways she could utilize these pieces, but she had such limited resources. She couldn’t pack things on her speeder, couldn’t go to Niima Outpost to trade for other items. She could only gather some pieces from the shuttle wreck and start making her way back to the clearing again. Frayed wires taunted her, telling Rey she couldn’t even fashion simple lights with which to see. Damned and depressed by the scene, she began her trek back, the sun disappearing much quicker than she’d anticipated.

            A few times the sweat she emitted caused the metal pieces in her arms to slip, and she’d have to stop, gather herself, continue on. Repeat when needed, in what seemed like only a few paces later. It became increasingly difficult to find the trees she’d earlier marked, with darkness quickly overtaking the thick jungle. But somehow Rey, in her determination, kept going, anticipating a decent pile of firewood at the clearing.

            She eventually reached the clearing, out of breath from her haul and thirsty again. As she dumped her findings, she briefly noticed Hux had not only gathered a good pile of firewood and kindle from leaves, but had somehow managed to find a mangled, fallen trunk and rolled it over before what would soon become their fire. Not bad for a man with a broken bone.

            Given he only had one good arm, _starting_ the actual fire would prove the most difficult for him, so despite her thirst and want to kneel before the river once more, Rey sat beside Hux at the pile of wood, holding her hands out. “I can start it,” she offered, as on Jakku she’d often have to rely on this primitive source of light. It’d be much quicker, anyway. “You’ve done enough, getting a good pile going.”

            Hux scoffed, yet he still handed her a stick to use for starting the fire. “It’s pitiful,” he admitted. “Not nearly enough for more than a night, and they’re all piled so… haphazardly.” If anything, he sounded far more frustrated at himself than at her.

            Rey didn’t ignore him as she started to quickly twist the stick in her palms, watching smoke start from beneath where it met the kindle—it only took her a few moments to answer. She bit the inside of her cheek. “For your limitations, you did well,” she assured, yet it felt strange coming off her tongue. Never did she think she’d compliment her enemy on anything.

            “’For my limitations,’” he repeated. Did his voice always sound so smug, she wondered. “This is a damned burden, is what it is.”

            As the kindle lit aflame, Rey moved her gaze up to watch Hux sit on the trunk, his posture still rather erect and rigid. Did he even know how to relax? Slowly the fire began to grow, and when it no longer needed her assistance to stay lit, she finally made her way over to the river, cupping her hands in for another cool drink.

            The water felt all too refreshing on her clammy skin, and she figured taking a dip inside wasn’t a terrible idea. After all, on Jakku she’d be lucky if she had enough to trade for enough water to wash herself, and even then, it was just enough to just scrub her body down with a rag that wasn’t terribly grimy. It wasn’t until she’d joined the Resistance that she realized just how _often_ people liked to clean themselves—daily, sometimes even twice a day. She supposed, if there was enough of the resource, might as well use it.

            Quickly she tossed her vest aside, then worked on taking her hair down, shaking it out around her shoulders. Next came her belts, her thigh holster, her boots, then her shirt, which she added to the growing pile without a second care. With each item she took off, she already felt so much better. Lighter, less hot and sticky.

            “ _What_ are you doing?” Hux demanded, and Rey hadn’t even realized he’d be looking over toward her direction at all.

            She turned, wondering why he held a hand before his eyes so he couldn’t look at her. Had he never seen a girl’s body before? “I’m about to bathe,” she pointed out casually.

            “Have you no decency?” he asked, turning his head away. Was it just Rey, or did his neck look more flushed than before? “You could go more downstream, or give a _warning_.”

            “What’s the big deal?” Rey raised a curious brow, not knowing why he was so embarrassed. She dealt with communal showers on the Resistance Base, had to sometimes scrub herself down before others on Jakku without a second thought. She never realized people felt shame for preparing to _bathe_ , of all things.

            “It’s _uncivilized_ , you little whelp.” And back to the insulting names. Eyes slitting, Rey stood and, without a second thought, moved before Hux to give him a piece of her mind.

            “I _told_ you, my name is Rey. You _know_ that.” Hands on her hips, she stared him down, defiant.

            His gaze suggested he wanted to be anywhere other than here. He refused to look up at her. “How are you not embarrassed, showing yourself off like that?”

            “Because it’s just my body. It’s something you have, believe it or not. It’s nothing embarrassing or _uncivilized_ , as you so kindly put it,” she explained. “Besides, it’s only us here. Shouldn’t we get used to it? It’s not like we can exactly avoid each other.”

            “Oh, I will do my damnedest to avoid _this_ ,” he vowed, still holding his good hand before his eyes. “How old are you, anyway?”

            “Twenty,” she answered, not understanding why that was relevant to this conversation.

            He groaned, looking at the dirt beneath his boots. “You’re a mere _child_.”

            “I most certainly am not!” Now it was her turn to scoff. How could he accuse her of that? Sure, she was _young_ , but that didn’t mean she wasn’t intelligent, or powerful, or strong. “How old are _you_ , then?”

            “Thirty-five,” he replied after a few lingering moments. Rey repeated the number in her head. Thirty-five. Fifteen whole years her elder—the same amount of time that transpired between when she’d first arrived on Jakku to now. Practically her whole lifetime stood between her and his current age. Yes, Rey suspected he was older, but not by this much. It more astonished her than made her uncomfortable, to know he’d seen so much more than she ever dreamed.

            “Still, no need to feel so squeamish,” she pointed out, stepping aside. “Age difference or not, it’s hot here, and too dark to go downstream. I’m _going_ to bathe. And I’m surprised you’re not suffering under all those dark, heavy layers.” With that, Rey finished stripping down, adding her pants to her pile of clothing. She sighed as she stepped in the water, finding it nice and cool compared to the clammy evening. The mud beneath her feet was something strange to get used to, but she waded out to about waist deep. Should she go deeper than her chest, she wouldn’t be able to swim back. Best to stay safe, where she could see, with the light of the fire.

            Rey dipped her head beneath the water, coming up again quickly to run her fingers through her wet hair. In this moment, she could forget that here she was, stranded on a remote planet with General Hux of the First Order. She could forget her problems for a few mere moments—and maybe with a clearer head she and Hux could figure out a more solid plan for the days to come. She made her way to the edge of the river, already feeling much more refreshed from just a short time submerged. Luke always insisted she meditate every day, but Rey always found it much more difficult to relax when you were told you _needed_ to relax, rather than just finding peace in something as simple as a bath. Still, meditation would help her expand her mind, perhaps get her to reach out to Luke or Leia sooner.

            As she emerged and stepped out of the river, she noticed Hux very engrossed in trying to sharpen a small piece of scrap she’d found with a stone. The scrap he held in his broken hand (probably not the best idea), while his less dominant hand used the stone, scraping furiously.

            “What are you doing?” she asked, wringing out her hair. She stood before her pile of clothes, waiting until she’d dried off a bit before dressing again. Hux would just have to deal with it.

            He began to look up, before she realized that she still remained nude, and busied himself with his work again. “Making some primitive tool to use to shave,” he uttered. “You’re out now. Get dressed.”

            “When I dry off,” she replied, just to be a bit difficult. But she sped the process along a bit, wiping drops off her body, shaking out her hair. “Why is it such a priority for you to keep up your grooming routine?”

            “I refuse to let myself look—“

            “Uncivilized?” Rey finished, raising a brow.

            He sighed, fixing his gaze on the fire as he took a break from his work. “Exactly.”

            Rey tried to picture him with facial hair, the same color as his strange, bright hair. Somehow the thought wasn’t _completely_ unappealing to her—she couldn’t place her finger on why. It didn’t seem very uncivilized or terrible, honestly. Luke had a beard. Sometimes Poe grew a bit of stubble. She supposed in the First Order, facial hair was… frowned upon? Forbidden? So she didn’t question such… strangeness. He wouldn’t try to explain himself, and she knew that at some point, right now in their hesitant partnership, they would just be going in circles.

            So Rey shrugged it off and started to dress again, glad her clothes weren’t sticking too much to her skin. Once she was fully covered up, and knew he’d be more comfortable, she took a seat beside him, keeping good distance between the two of them. As he looked down to concentrate on his work, Rey looked ahead at the fire before her, dancing and crackling peacefully. The temperature had decreased a bit, with the air still rather heavy, yet a bit more comfortable. When she looked up at the dark sky, she focused on the stars, looking for a pattern she might know to place just where they might be.

            Finally Hux glanced over at her. “Constellations?” he asked, setting his tools aside.

            “I don’t recognize any of these stars.” Her voice came out barely louder than a whisper. A moment ago she had not a care in the world, casually bathing in the river like it was a luxury. Now that night had fallen, she could clearly tell just _how_ isolated she and Hux were from the civilizations they knew. The thought frightened her—just how alone _were_ they?

            He looked up as well, taking his time with deciphering these patters. Would he be able to help them out? He’d been to far more places than she, all over the galaxy—over a few galaxies, she reasoned. He had to—

            “I don’t, either,” he replied, just as lowly.

            Rey took a deep breath, looking at the fire, then back at the unfamiliar sky. After a few moments back to Hux, who still searched the stars like he could possibly find something. But with each passing second she could see defeat set in his eyes.

            Getting themselves out of here just proved that much more difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some fun stuff this chapter. Much as I want them to just get more physical with each other now, it's more in character to take some time for them to get to know each other first. Don't worry, I have plans for some more meaningful conversations. :)
> 
> As always, reviews and comments are always appreciated!


	6. Get up out My Face Like, Who D'You Think You Are?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a bit, but I've been so inspired by you guys showing your support for both this fic and the ship. It's been kind of hard recently, I'm not gonna lie, with me dealing with the lack of support I've been getting IRL for choosing to ship Rey and Hux. I've gone through a few bouts of sadness, but when I read some of your comments I really do feel better, so thank you guys for being there when I think I don't have anyone.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 6: "Get up out My Face Like, Who D'You Think You Are?"**

Rey offered to take the first watch while Hux slept, her mind racing with too many questions about just what they would do for survival. The most logical solution, she knew, was to take things one step at a time, as Luke always advised, rather than tackle everything at once. With a clear mind, the Force could be more receptive to her needs, she remembered, and yes, perhaps that was the key to reaching to Luke or Leia in the void.

The trouble was, Luke and Leia had a much stronger Force bond than Rey would have with either of them, as not only did they have many years of experience and practice strengthening their powers, but they were also so closely related. Rey, as far as she knew, had no blood ties to either Skywalker twin—only making things more difficult at such a distance from them.

 _Stop. Breathe_ , she told herself, trying once again to relax. She listened to the crackling of the fire before her, to the rush of the stream, to the wildlife of the jungle humming around her. No matter where she was in the universe, the Force should always be there—she just had to listen to it, feel it, allow _it_ to come to her rather than exert herself trying to control its vast power. Rey opened her eyes, adjusting to the dark as she looked from the fire, and then to Hux, sleeping peacefully beside it on his back.

While awake, Rey felt this hesitance toward looking at him, feeling that if she stared even a touch too long, he'd unleash some sort of wrath upon her. But what should she fear, she wondered. He'd agreed to not only work with her, but help her along in her training, knowing full well that what would likely happen was the Resistance would still capture him, even if she promised to hold up her end of the bargain. What a gamble he was taking with her.

While, asleep, though, the hardened lines usually so prominent on his face softened, making him look almost… peaceful. He didn't seem like the type of person who'd ever had a day of relaxation in his life, had never done anything without thinking of the consequences, had never let his mind go for any sort of enjoyment. What must that life be like, she wondered as she shuffled her lightsaber between her hands. To be raised so strictly, under such cruelty and coldness… Rey couldn't even ask Finn of his upbringing—he always distanced himself whenever the subject came up. She could only imagine Hux had been raised similarly.

She imagined him a light sleeper, the type of man to keep a hand on his blaster for fear of anything happening in the middle of the night. She imagined him dreaming of cruelty as if it were bliss, of finding solace in the destruction of others. And she then wondered if he'd known the gentle touch of a caring mother, stroking his hair under the assurance that no matter what, things would all be okay.

Rey didn't know the feeling personally, either, but she imagined it'd be similar to how Leia had treated her with an elderly kindness she'd never known until joining the Resistance. How with one hug, Rey had somehow felt, deep down, that she had come home.

Her eyes drooped the more she gazed at Hux, so focused on how calm he looked that she herself had started to drift off. Shaking her head, Rey instead tried to keep herself up with something that could help them out. While she couldn't go to the wreckage and leave Hux alone and vulnerable, she could do _something_ , couldn't she? Luke would tell her to use this time to strengthen her mind over her body, to allow the Force to come to her and meditate. Best to at least _try_ to follow this advice, while there wasn't much to do but watch and hope nothing followed the light of their fire to attack them. Could she feel safe and be able to sleep, when Hux took the second watch? Rey remembered how good a shot he'd been in his less dominant hand—surely he'd protect them just fine. With that in mind, she could only deduce that, when she'd been earlier captured, he'd been the one to shoot her lightsaber out of her hand. The plasma had just barely grazed her skin, but Rey imagined that to be his intention. She finally took the time to observe the little scar, just below the knuckles of her right hand, in a clean, slightly discolored diagonal.

If she wanted his help, she'd have to help him too, somehow. Rey might have started to crack the surface a bit, at least letting him know that he was still useful despite the temporary handicap. But much as Rey wanted to do more, she needed to see if she could continue to make progress with him, as even he was starting to notice that this wasn't a one-man job. That rift based on affiliation needed to dissipate, just a bit, even if Rey knew just what the man had once been capable of, even if she doubted the Resistance would spare him once they were rescued.

So she did what Luke would have told her to do. She meditated on it.

She let the elements wash away as she closed her eyes, focusing on her core, on the surroundings the naked eye could not see. Here, the Force felt much less palpable than the thick air, like in this place, though it existed, something _about_ it seemed so much… weaker. Was that even possible? Maz and Luke and Leia had always described the Force as being accessible, from wherever. But they hadn't been out here. And by the looks of it, in the thick of the jungle, no one else in their galaxy had, either.

Damn. Doubt was distracting her, yet again. Rey sighed and wished she would stop being so terribly pessimistic here. On Jakku she'd always held hope that someday her parents would find her—and here, where it was entirely possible for Rey to eventually reach out to Luke and Leia, _now_ she felt like there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel? Was it only because Jakku held a bit more civilization, no matter how terrible? Or was it because she was stuck here with General Hux, who seemed too caught up in trivial manners like tonsorial care and how firewood was piled?

He needed to give her just one leeway in to what she was sure was a difficult life. And though the two of them had entirely different definitions of what constituted said difficult life, Rey at least knew they had one thing in common: survival meant not questioning. Bow your head, do as you're told, rise to the top. Which meant, given what she'd seen earlier, they'd clash over their natural stubborn natures—in thinking their methods were always correct, given that they'd gotten this far without much repercussion.

Maybe, if she delved a little deeper, she'd find they weren't that different after all. Then again, Rey wasn't sure that neither she nor Hux might like the results. Or rather, they might _actually_ start to… _like_ each other.

She shuddered at the thought.

Rey hated where her thought process wanted to take her at such an hour, to where her gaze again wandered from the fire, to the starry, unfamiliar sky, and then again settling on Hux's sleeping face. But it wasn't like he was _attractive_ , it was the complete night and day difference—his serious, always angered expression, taken over with such serenity—

Again, Rey shook her head. She was tired, yes, that must be it. Her first watch was probably close to being over, and she should wake him soon. But then, she wondered, just what was going on in that mind of his? She could just… take a peek, right? She could always vouch for it being part of her training. And even with his guard down, there was still a very defensive barrier up, as if he had to ward himself off from other Force sensitive beings. Rey saw a blurred cloud in his head, a shield as his only defense against… beings like her, she supposed. Did Kylo Ren try to probe his mind, as well? Try and force his way in, like he had with Rey?

But when she snuck around, crept through his mind silently, not forcefully, she saw the opening. She saw an opportunity to see if there was something, _anything_ she could work off of to make this situation even a bit better. Rey started to move through…

And realized that this made her no better than Kylo Ren, if Hux didn't give her his permission to do this. Rey immediately withdrew from his head in her hazed, tired mind, slumping forward. That wasn't right—but why did he have such a barrier up in the first place? What practice did he have, knowing how to keep his mind so strong from such probing? What had Kylo Ren _done_ to him?

No, don't ask, not on the first night. These questions could eventually be answered, as she suspected they would be here for quite a while. Who knew, maybe the madness of a world without any civilization would draw them closer to each other.

She really _was_ tired, if _this_ was what was going through her mind right now. And best to not risk falling asleep on the job—surely Hux would understand. So she made her way over to him, kneeling beside him. Rey bit her lip and gently shook his shoulder, after hesitating, fearful of what his reaction might be.

"Hey, Hux…" she murmured, realizing this was the first time she'd used his name so casually. He immediately woke, his eyes note slowly blinking open. He just shot up, already alert and ready to do… well, whatever duties a night watch included for someone with a broken arm. It felt so strange, just casually shaking him awake. It was almost as comical as being stranded him on a deserted planet together.

"Fine, fine," Hux swatted Rey's hand away and sat up properly, moving aside so Rey could lay down. "A bit early, but it's better than having you fall asleep and leave us prone for attack, I suppose." His woken voice took on a bit of a gravelly tone, Rey observed. Why did she take such acute note to that? Because his voice didn't sound as composed as usual?

Hux rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and started to get up, immediately making Rey feel terrible for waking him, though she had a feeling this was what would happen practically every night from here on out. Slowly they took each other's places, with Hux sitting up and Rey lying down. She bundled her vest up into a makeshift pillow and shook her hair out, silently watching Hux pick up a stray stick and poke at the fire to keep it alive. He didn't have a retort, or something smart to say to her, as he usually did. Rey wasn't sure whether or not she should feel grateful for that—because while she enjoyed his immediate compliance to the request, she was starting to understand the stubbornness of his nature, and started to expect it more out of him. Her eyes stayed closed for longer and longer periods of time, with her eventually falling asleep, with the last thing she noticed being the dancing, bright orange flame that certainly reminded Rey of his damned hair.

* * *

The first thing Rey noticed when she woke was the unbearable heat surrounding her shoulders. Groaning, she slowly opened her eyes, blinking and squinting at the bright light. As she began to sit up, that's when she realized the reason why she'd been so hot in the first place—somehow she ended up with Hux's overcoat on her like a makeshift blanket. Rey let the coat slip from her shoulders, rubbing her eyes to adjust to the light as she noticed Hux with his First Order uniform jacket slung over his shoulders as he hunched over the burnt twigs, the fire dead. She noticed his hair, messily slicked back, looked a bit damper than she'd earlier seen.

"You bathed?" she asked, her voice laced with sleepiness as she began to fold his coat as neatly as she knew how.

"At first light," he replied, still not looking over at her. "Next time you bathe, I suggest doing it while I'm asleep."

A witty retort perched itself at the tip of her tongue, but after knowing their age difference Rey supposed she'd do that, not make him feel too awkward. But he shouldn't be so standoffish. "I suppose that's fine. It might keep me up a bit longer than last night." For which she still felt rather remorseful, making him take a watch longer than her own. "I apologize for making you wake earlier than intended."

"It was one night over the course of what I assume will be many," he assured after a moment, and Rey was surprised that Hux had taken such a calm tone after the hostility that had transpired yesterday.

"And the coat?" she added, putting her vest back on. She started to tie her hair up, into its usual three buns.

The corner of his lips twitched up for a bit, before returning to a frown. "You actually began to shiver in the middle of the night. It was to get you to shut up," he explained.

"I was _cold_?" Rey's eyes widened, incredulous. "How could I be cold in this terrible weather?"

"I wondered the same thing. But as soon as I put the coat over you, you calmed down. There's only so long you can take the pathetic whimpering."

Rey rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes, I'm sure that _really_ put a damper in your night."

"A 'thank you' would suffice." He shrugged.

"For _what_ , Hux? It wasn't like I would suffer if you hadn't put your coat on." Sighing, Rey moved to hand him back his coat, but immediately noticed her lightsaber wasn't in her thigh holster, where it should be.

"What did you do with it?" she immediately accused. Was the coat some sort of diversion so he could somehow have the upper hand?

"Hm?" Slowly Hux looked over at Rey, taking in her half done hair as he took his coat back. "Oh, that. I hid it."

"You… _what_?" If he didn't explain, Rey just might break his other arm. "You just _took_ my lightsaber in the dead of night and hid it somewhere on this planet we know nothing about?"

"Think of it as your first lesson: you have two ways to go about this." How he could remain so calm, she had no idea. Rey somehow felt as if the tables were turned. But then again, she hadn't been the most calm the day before, when he'd condescended toward her, underestimated her. "You can _try_ to read my thoughts, but I assure you I have plenty of practice warding off… others. Or, if it's as Ren says, and somehow that lightsaber calls to you, you should have no trouble procuring it."

Rey remembered the barrier from last night. Getting through to Hux in that way certainly wouldn't be very easy, and she wondered if she should try it, as she noticed that _one_ opening. Where he hadn't expected force to be a factor in getting what she wanted. That she could coax it out of him, if he just let her in. But after only knowing him for such a brief amount of time, Rey wasn't sure she _wanted_ to know so much about him just yet. When it came to Hux, Rey wanted to get to know him on _his_ terms, just as she expected someone would do for her. So the latter it was. Maz Kanata had said the lightsaber did indeed call to her—so finding it shouldn't be too difficult, if she focused her powers solely on this task, while at the same time exploring this strange, new environment.

"No, I… I'll go look for it," she conceded, remembering the awful, terrible way it felt when Kylo Ren had pervaded her mind with such aggression that she had no choice _but_ to give in. And how did it feel for Hux, then, who probably had to ward that off every day since he first started learning such an awful trick to make his enemies talk? "And what will you do in the meantime?"

Hux stood, kicking his supposed "pathetic" pile of sticks aside. "I'm going back to the wreckage to bury the bodies," he declared. Could he really do that one handed? And how could he say that so casually? "Don't want them decomposing above land, when we're going to be going back and forth between the clearing and the wreck for supplies."

He had a point. Rey slowly nodded, realizing that while she had seen bodies before, in various states of decomposition on Jakku, not once had she actually buried one. She always felt it wasn't her responsibility as a scavenger—she just had to survive. Too bad they didn't. But she wouldn't risk becoming steelpecker or ripper-raptor chow anytime soon. "If you need assistance…"

Hux waved his good hand. "I don't think with this. And I didn't stray far off the beaten path in hiding your weapon—I waited until there was enough light," he assured.

Well… she should probably get a move on soon, then. A Jedi was only half a Jedi without her lightsaber, after all. Given she still didn't have a canteen (which she needed to figure out, _today_ ), Rey made her way to the ledge of the river, taking a few long gulps of water. She could do this—she wouldn't need Hux to tell her where it was.

"Another thing," he piped up behind her, and Rey slowly turned toward him, starting to stand.

"Yes?" she asked expectantly, watching Hux pick up one of the stray Stormtrooper blasters in the pile they'd created.

He tossed her the blaster, and she caught it, slinging it over her shoulder so she had _something_ with which to defend herself. "As I was bathing, I noticed that life does reside in the river. Nothing harmful, as I wasn't attacked," he explained. "But perhaps decent enough to eat, if killed and cooked correctly."

It wasn't until he mentioned food that Rey realized she hadn't eaten since before she'd been captured. Her stomach rumbled at the thought, but right now her first priority had to be her main weapon, before another creature found it. Though, through the Force, she could feel it out of harm's way, for now. "Perhaps we'll have a feast tonight, then," she figured, starting to head out. "You're not even going to tell me in which direction I should go, huh?"

"I already gave you a hint." He shrugged, keeping his coat slung over the tree trunk they'd been using as some sort of seat. "Start with the path. And you'll know where to find me afterward." With that, he didn't wait for Rey as he started ahead with his blaster, making his way toward the wreckage.

Was this going to be an everyday occurrence, she wondered as she jogged behind him, before stopping to see if she could feel where her lightsaber could be, from where it called to her. If so, this could either prove very useful or rather mundane. Though she doubted this was the last trick the General had up his dark sleeve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is starting out really slow, I realize, but I swear I'll have a time jump soon, so we can get to the stuff we all want-shipping, of course! Any ideas? Anything you want to talk about? Any critiques? Seriously, feel free to let me know. You all as readers are amazing.


	7. Where'd You Go? Mr. Houdini, You're a Freak Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied. Next chapter is a time jump. It's gotten to the point where I'm a bit behind, and my friend's solution was to try and write 1000 words a day. Which in retrospect doesn't seem like too much, though it's really difficult to do on top of work and school! But it's okay. I am enjoying writing this, and I enjoy reading your messages and comments and suggestions, particularly the ones that make me feel a lot less alone in this ship. Yes, there will be a Hux-centric chapter soon! He's a really interesting character, but incredibly difficult to write well. So, for the most part, this will be from Rey's perspective.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 7: "Where'd You Go? Mr. Houdini, You're a Freak Show"**

So perhaps he hid her lightsaber not _too_ far off the beaten path, but Rey still took a while trying to find it. The whole time she figured he'd have it buried somewhere in the soil, but never did it occur to her that he somehow managed to get it up on a branch. Rey supposed he must have tossed it until it stayed, but wasn't that dangerous? What if he accidentally activated it? But Rey didn't imagine Hux to do something that… dumb (as she couldn't put it any other way). She could tell he was a very complex person, and one of those complexities included intelligence. He must have found a way to get it up there using that huge mind of his. How, she couldn't figure. And she doubted he'd ever tell her.

As she made her way through the jungle, Rey tuned herself in to honing in on her lightsaber, remembering how she had a feel for its presence before. The first time it called to her, it used her past as a means to haunt her, to show her the burdens of the last twenty years, to show her the things that weren't her fault, but a journey in which she was somehow involved (and a subject that, frustratingly, Luke would conveniently avoid when Rey asked). Everything about that first vision had been frightening, except the soothing, somehow familiar voice that declared that, when she touched the lightsaber, these were her first steps toward becoming a Jedi. She'd never heard that voice before—yet it resonated with Rey, made her wonder who the man whispering in her ear had been. Again, Luke avoided the question when Rey asked. She always hoped she would hear the voice again, in a dream or a vision, but it had yet to happen. Yet here, she believed, anything could be possible.

The second time the saber called to her, she'd pulled it to herself as a means to prevent Kylo Ren from getting his soiled hands on it, as a means of defense. Somehow it felt _right_ , to keep it from him, despite promising Maz she'd never touch it again. But this time there were no horrid visions of Kylo Ren slaughtering others in the rain, or young Rey being left behind on Jakku while Unkar Plutt held her skinny arm roughly. This time she let the Force flow through her, and she knew she had to protect both herself and Finn, who fought so valiantly trying to save her from the First Order and Starkiller Base.

Keeping this in mind, then, meant she could find her weapon, that she had all the tools she needed to build that connection again. Though she was separated from the lightsaber now, thanks to Hux, through the Force she caught a semblance of where it could be. Close, but toyed with. Higher above her. So when she found the particular tree, after she slowly trekked through the jungle and took in everything surrounding her, she realized that Hux had been a bit knowledgeable about the Force than she'd given him credit for—in knowing that she was bonded enough to her lightsaber so she could easily find it. And this had helped her expand her mind a bit more, think beyond herself and her physical limits. She supposed, when they knew the planet a bit more, Hux would probably take more advantage of the strange, thick environment, if he decided to do this again.

Instead of climbing into the tree, Rey held her palm out, and tried to coax her lightsaber back into her hand, rather than force it down. It wiggled, but eventually flew into Rey's hand when she closed her eyes and concentrated on it in her hand. She noticed that, when she saw the visual picture in her head, the Force was more attuned to her, more willing to allow her to manipulate it. With a triumphant smile, she tossed it around between her hands, then slipped it back in her thigh holster, determined now to find Hux. She must have been a few dozen paces from the path, and like when she and Hux had been trying to find water the day before, she used the Stormtrooper blaster to mark every fifth tree, so she wouldn't get lost. How Hux had been able to get back to the clearing after hiding her saber, she also couldn't gauge how he'd done it—now _that_ was something she needed answered, so the marks they made on trunks wouldn't take them in circles in the future.

With a bit of a pant in her breath as she found the main path (as the marks a blaster and a lightsaber made were quite different), Rey decided to go back to the clearing to quench her thirst before finding Hux, though she figured he would need help. She wouldn't be too long, she assured herself silently. Besides, he probably relished being alone, much as she could use a companion here, on this unfamiliar planet. She'd take what she could get—and if what she could get was General Hux, then so be it.

As was the case, when Rey neared the clearing, far before her she noticed a large, fast creature dart out on the other side of the river downstream to take a drink. Her instincts took over, and Rey ducked behind a tree, a hand on her lightsaber. In the thick of the shade and with her vision she couldn't make out any details of the creature, except that it was perhaps twice her size and moved on all fours. It didn't notice her, was too far from Rey's line of vision and too far downstream, and also didn't take into account their makeshift camp, thank the maker. It just drank water and moved, and again Rey was grateful that it had been on the other side of the river. She let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding when it disappeared back into the jungle, far away from her.

So Rey moved quietly, making barely a sound as she once again kneeled by the river as she made herself look as small as she could. Hopefully it didn't smell or hear well, or she would certainly be dead. Her eyes were on the prowl as she kept scanning her surroundings, gulp after gulp of water consumed. So far, so good.

Maybe it was a gentle giant, but in Rey's experience that usually wasn't the case. Trusting anyone or anything could often lead to failure, loss of possessions, death, even. So she stayed wary as she kept on the prowl for any other creature that might attack her or Hux, on the way back to the wreckage. She'd taken her lightsaber out and it was poised for attack; Rey even had a hand on the First Order blaster Hux had tossed at her earlier. With her powers more in tune her senses heightened, relying just as much on sound and instinct as she did on sight.

Which meant that every other creature she heard or saw subsequently made her jump in her boots. What if it smelled something foreign and started following her and Hux? Would she know how to defend herself? Would Hux, with his broken arm? She moved a bit faster.

Eventually Rey made her way back to Hux, who, for this temporary handicap, had definitely gotten a lot done—most of the bodies had been stripped of armor and somewhat buried. In the humid air the putrid smell of decaying flesh only permeated Rey's nostrils, and she wrinkled her nose. "I saw a creature," she mentioned as she immediately started helping, going through the rubbage to see if she could find anything to make a sufficient canteen. A Stormtrooper helmet, maybe? Or was that too gruesome? She picked a couple up and some frayed wire, which wouldn't suffice as a means to make an electrical circuit, but could be used for smaller things. A sling, perhaps? Using the helmets as vessels, she relied on her scavenging skills to pick apart what she figured they could use, but only found herself pondering how many portions an energy coil would be worth to Unkar Plutt, or how, if she cleaned up this solar array, she could have enough to eat for a week.

She looked up at Hux, who was stripping down the armor of another trooper. He'd yet to really acknowledge her despite the news. "And…?" he finally asked, running his hand through his hair to keep it from getting in his face.

"And it could possibly be dangerous?" she replied, wondering why he wasn't taking more caution to this declaration. "I saw it across the river."

"If it's across the river and it didn't swim, then we're fine," he assured, but Rey could sense a bit of unease in his face. She hated that this was half a First Order shuttle, a ship that Rey knew little about in the first place, and already it was half gone from the anomaly when they'd crash landed. She tossed one of the bonds that held her in the interrogation chairs into the helmet, as she was now just taking whatever she could that might help.

Rey just said nothing to Hux's response, figuring he was assuring himself more than anyone else that things were okay for the time being. "Do you need help?" she asked after a moment, knowing her asking to assist always seemed to make him uneasy, like a man who never relied on anyone, or saw the assistance as a weakness to his own character.

"I'm fine." Hux waved his hand dismissively, as Rey predicted he would. When he looked back down, she rolled her eyes, but silently went back to work. If he somehow hurt himself, well… she did offer to help. And he didn't take it.

Rey finally found two hollowed out vessels that they could use as makeshift canteens, if she scrubbed them out. She'd use the clothes on her back to do it, if she had to—a way to carry water had always been Rey's first priority back on Jakku, and here was no exception. By here, should she and Hux think of some name for this planet? Did it even have a name? Did it register in any system?

She walked over to Hux, holding up the identical makeshift canisters. "Is there something we can scrub these out with that you've found?" she asked, keeping a bit of distance between the two of them, with the body kind of being what kept her away.

He pointed to a small pile of black, tattered rags close to him. "Stripped from a few of the soldiers. Use them for whatever you desire," he permitted, then going back to his work.

Obviously he wasn't going to listen much to her. Rey took a deep breath, then picked up the pile, placing them in a helmet. Wasn't he supposed to help her train? How was he so engrossed in… this? _She_ was the one alive and breathing here, who was willing to work with him. But obviously this transition from enemy to reluctant ally still wasn't working for him—so she'd give him a bit of space. "Fine. I'm going back to the clearing to see just what I can do with these parts," she replied. "Hopefully I'm not attacked or seen."

Now he rolled his eyes. "You're being overdramatic. I thought you were just a hint smarter," he replied.

"I _did_ find my lightsaber," she pointed out, waving it in front of his face. "Give me some credit for that."

"Not like I hid it _particularly_ well," he conceded. "Did you start talking just to argue again?"

"Did you?" Rey shot back, starting to walk away. It certainly seemed like that's all he wanted to do for now. "When you're done here, you know where to find me."

* * *

Rey moved downstream so the grease from the makeshift canisters didn't contaminate their drinking water. She treated the glistening river like the washing tables at Niima Outpost, and this almost brought Rey back to her scavenger days, where she'd spend what seemed like hours scouring her findings to be clean enough for Unkar Plutt, so she could receive a good meal for a day of hard work. She kept testing the canister, filling it with water and taking a tiny sip, then spitting out its greasy contents. Wasn't like this was the first time she'd tasted something toxic, after all.

As she scrubbed, she did notice some life deeper in the water—swimming in a depth a bit deeper than her waist, she figured. Rey should probably fashion some sort of primitive spear out of a stick to hunt for something to eat, and she should probably be the primary hunter, given Hux's arm. He'd protest, of course. But again, they were both too stubborn—another argument would probably arise. But she couldn't let him exert himself too much.

He returned with a few more sticks, making a bit of noise to get Rey's attention, as he saw her a bit further from their campsite. Rey looked back and couldn't help but feel just a touch safer in his presence. Knowing that he was finally starting to realize that they needed to cooperate a bit more made her smile, just slightly, before she made her way back over to him, handing him the cleaner container. "For you," she offered. "If you're going to explore, you need water."

And he took it with a nod, without thanking her, of course. "I'm going to get more firewood," he declared instead, getting up again.

Sighing, Rey picked up one of the sticks he'd collected, finding it a bit sharper than the rest. "You can do that. I'm going to see if I can catch a… fish? They certainly looked like fish, from what I've been observing." Maybe this would do, with enough force. Her reflexes were getting pretty damn good, with her previous training. "And I don't care if we burn it to a crisp—I need to eat _something_."

"Something we can agree on," murmured Hux, not looking up at her. "I suppose I won't be far, if you're having trouble."

How did she admit that she…? Rey walked to the edge of the river and sat, kicking her boots off. Maybe she _would_ need help here. Biting her lip, she started to take her pants off as his back was turned to leave again, but she stopped. "Hux?" she called, unsure how to put this confession into words without him making fun of her.

Without a word, he turned back to her, but looked away from her when he noticed she was starting to strip again. "I _told_ you I don't want to see… _that_."

Her body? She wasn't deformed in any way, as far as she knew. "It's not that," she assured. He probably wouldn't take this well. "I just… I don't know how to swim."

"You… _what_?" he asked after a moment, now suddenly forgetting her pants halfway down her legs. "Didn't your master teach you?"

"The waters were kind of rough on where I used to train," Rey admitted, feeling her face flush from embarrassment. Yes, she was a Jedi, and she didn't know how to swim. She wasn't even sure if there was some sort of instinct she had within her that would keep her alive, should she ever find herself in deep waters. "And I grew up on Jakku. It's not like there was a surplus body of water close to where I lived. It just… wasn't a top priority, I suppose."

Anywhere else, this confession would be used against her. But this neutral ground, she knew, presented him with a challenge—to stick with his First Order instincts and use this knowledge to his sole advantage, or actually help her out. "Then for now, see if you can catch something where you feel comfortable," he said instead, turning again. Rey figured he got a decent look at her, but at least didn't make a brash comment, like before.

For now, Rey figured, he probably couldn't teach her to swim, as he couldn't get his broken arm very wet. How he'd been able to do so much, Rey honestly didn't know, but she just didn't question it, as he was still very competent, even with his less dominant hand. "I'll keep that in mind. But we need to eat," she pointed out with a sigh, taking the stick as she started to step into the warm water.

"And we need firewood to cook said food, so if you don't mind..." But Hux didn't wait for a response as he made his way back into the jungle. Perhaps her desperation for dinner would keep her determined enough to catch _something_. She had to have some sort of hope that she could do this.

Rey waded deeper into the water, until she had to tie her shirt in a knot above her stomach. She kept a keen eye out for something swimming toward her, hoping she didn't have to lunge too far forward to catch something. If Hux wasn't here and she started to drown…

She had to think positive here. She could catch their dinner—she could do this without knowing how to swim. Rey wasn't too far out, after all. She noticed a creature swimming quickly toward her, and she tried to predict where it'd go, plunging her stick quickly into the water.

Nothing. She'd moved too slow. Damn. But not a bad first try.

So she tried again with the next creature, which was a bit smaller than the first. She had to take what she could get, though… and what she could get was apparently not that fish, either. Damn! Usually she did so much better with a weapon at her disposal, no matter how small. But maybe she was acting a bit too desperate to catch something? Was she just doing this to prove to Hux that she could do it, or did she really want to eat?

 _Why must it be one or the other?_ she thought instead, shaking her head. Fine, it was both. She wanted to impress him with her skills for some reason, as if to prove to him she was capable of being the breadwinner here. At the same time, whenever she saw a fish making its way past her, she couldn't help but feel her stomach grumble. Still, there was another part of her that could… actually use his patience and guidance. Not that she'd admit that aloud to him when he returned, though.

Maybe this stick wasn't the best way to go about catching the creature, she figured. She had to think smarter, not harder here. But the stick was perhaps the most humane way of killing it, rather than holding it out of water until it eventually stopped breathing.

How to catch it, though, that would be her biggest challenge. She had to rely on all her senses, especially when she realized just how important finding food was. Not just seeing the patterns in which the fish moved, but sensing how they moved in the water, predicting their next moves, and catching them in the right moment. She let a few more get by with this in mind, her eyes darting back and forth to get that sense.

A decent sized one started to come along, and Rey made a wide stance, preparing herself for what was sure to be a failure. But she had to think like when she moved her lightsaber back into her hands. She had to picture herself getting it done, succeeding. It would veer to her left, she predicted—just wide enough to get around her, as she was an obstacle for its path.

Time slowed when it swam and did as she'd predicted. It moved around her on her left side, and just as it was about to pass her she quickly plunged her hands into the water and refused to let go when it swam in between her hands. Just as quickly she pulled it up, trying not to look it in the eye as it flopped around, gasping for air. She made her way to the edge of the river, placing the fish down. It continued to frantically hop around, its mouth gaping.

Rey couldn't think about this. She just had to _do_ it—her stomach grumbled again, and she took the stick and plunged it into the fish, murmuring a low apology. But by killing the fish, it meant hers and Hux's survival. She'd caught one.

Now she just needed to catch another.

She waded back waist deep in the river, feeling more confident now that she had caught one. If she could get one, she could get another—and given Hux's thin frame, she figured he should have the bigger fish of whatever she caught. Still… should she go for more? Or was that wishful thinking? Or was the population of this sort of fish not prominent? Rey was thinking too hard about this. Just catch one for her, and one for Hux, and that should be enough, for now, until they learned far more about this planet.

It took her a few more tries, but when she got her mind back where it should be, where she didn't focus on where Hux was and the logistics of this planet, she caught another one, this one just a tad larger. When she turned again, the fish flopping in her hands, she saw Hux returning to the clearing with more firewood, and this time he was taking more time to meticulously pile each branch up to look neat. Why did it really matter? But she knew not to ask.

After she killed the fish, she hopped out of the river and pulled her shirt back down, so it covered her undergarments. She speared the fish, and planned that, when they were cooked, she and Hux would just roast them over the fire. Ignoring Hux's averting gaze as soon as she got close to him, Rey sat beside him and handed him a fish on one of her makeshift spears. "I caught something," she said, trying to shoot him a hint of a hopeful smile.

This time his stomach grumbled, and Rey watched his pale neck start to color. But he didn't address how hungry he was. So she sighed, kneeling down to start this fire early, far too hungry to really take into account that this probably wasn't the smartest idea. But Hux certainly wasn't protesting, either.

Perturbed by the silence, Rey helped the fire along with lighting the kindling, before she turned back to Hux, who shuffled the fish around in his hand. "I never ate things like this on Jakku," she pointed out, just to try and make conversation. And maybe she could learn a thing or two about him, since it was better than having to live in silence and have them never understand each other. "I lived off of old Empire portions."

But this statement actually piqued his interest, and he raised a brow at her as she set the firewood aflame. "Empire portions? They couldn't possibly taste similar to First Order ones," he decided, and Rey realized he genuinely didn't know just how much of the Empire's influence remained on Jakku, from the graveyard of old ships scattered around the desert to what Rey ate. And while Rey never really sympathized with either the Empire or the First Order, she had to admit, without those portions, and without the Empire wreckage from the Battle of Jakku years ago, she wouldn't have a way to survive on such a harsh planet.

"I don't know. What are First Order portions like?" she asked, trying to see if he'd start actually talking to her.

He shrugged. "I haven't had one in quite a while, as I'm…"

 _Higher up?_ she would have finished, but Hux shook his head. "Why do you even care?" he demanded, holding his speared fish above the fire when it grew big enough. "It's _food_."

"What's wrong with getting to know each other?" Honestly, why did he have to have his walls built up so thick? Did it really have to do with her differing affiliation, or did it have more to do with that barrier she'd seen within his mind the night before? " _I'm_ willing to talk about nearly anything—why can't you?"

"Because you grew up on Jakku with a neutral affiliation, for the most part," he explained. "And you never know who would use such information against you."

Again… as if he was speaking from experience. Rey chewed on the inside of her cheek and held her speared fish over the fire. But her curiosity wouldn't let the issue go. Finally, after her time with the Resistance, where she could be so open, she had another opportunity to really _speak_ with someone without disputes ending in animosity over portions and scavenging. She couldn't give up on Hux, even if he was an important First Order General who wanted the destruction of her friends and colleagues. "I do know who would," she admitted, keeping her voice low so they wouldn't argue again. "But you know that here… it's just us. It's going to be just us for a while. The boundaries you're so used to just don't apply anymore."

He rotated his fish, watching the skin start to blacken. "And that's the most frightening thing."

Rey wasn't sure if he was talking about their loneliness on this unknown planet, or that he knew those walls he had taken so much time to set up might actually come crumbling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a really slow build, but trust me when I say that it's definitely frustrating me as much as it is you guys. So hopefully it'll be worth the wait, when we do eventually get there!


	8. Don't Know What I'm Feeling—Is This Just a Dream? If Only…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, so fast! The updates will probably come more rapidly because now we're in crunch time. Word count wise I'm halfway through, and story wise I'm probably around the same boat. I listened to the biggest suggestion, which was a Hux-centric chapter told in his point of view. So look forward to that.
> 
> Also thinking about making a playlist for the songs that are inspiring chapter titles. Would anyone be interested in that?

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 8: "Don't Know What I'm Feeling—Is This Just a Dream? If Only…"**

Over time, it all started to become routine, yet every day Rey woke with the unnerving feeling that something—she couldn't place what—was starting to change. For a few weeks after the crash, she adhered to the schedule Hux had subtly set up, followed it with a blind eye, found it the best way to ensure their survival while on this planet. Once before the fire she teased the idea of naming it, but Hux assured her that if they named this place, they might begin to get too used to it, too attached to it. Naming it meant that it would become _theirs_.

The thing was, though, they _were_ getting used to it. Rey slowly started to acclimate to the humid environment, as long as she had enough water on her, and even Hux wasn't burning as quickly as he normally did. Every morning when she woke, Hux had hidden her lightsaber yet again, in somewhere different, and lately each new hiding spot was either more creative or further than it last was. One time she found it in the nest of one of the flying creatures (and she was tempted to steal its eggs for food, but feared it would somehow start hunting them, so she ultimately decided against it), and another time buried in mud, where it seemed to slip from her grasp as soon as she got a hold of it—washing her clothes and boots afterward had been a real delight, too. She could have sworn she noticed a hint of a smug smirk gracing Hux's face when she returned to the clearing.

Rey asked if Hux would consider moving camp further upstream or downstream, to see if there was any civilization around here, no matter how primitive. They'd picked apart the wreckage so much that there was nothing to go through anymore. She wasn't exactly bored, but she could use a change of scenery, especially if it meant the possibility of more resources.

He shot her down, of course, like he did most of her ideas, except when Rey proved herself capable, in his eyes.

"Why?" she asked. "You know it's the smartest thing we can do, now that there's nothing left here for us." She realized that lately, she referred to them more as a unit, as a "we" or "us," despite the mental separation between them.

"For many reasons," he said, gathering another stick in his arm. Rey held the bigger ones that required both hands. "I said this before, but it will only make us more attached to this damned planet. The days that pass by are only just a reminder that the last thing I am is a capable Force instructor, and only shows that even though you are indeed powerful, we're probably millions of kilometers from any known system, let alone your precious Resistance base. Any civilization we find will probably attack us, with our weapons and means of defending ourselves, and I doubt they speak any lick of any languages we do, which means communication would be impossible."

"Difficult, not impossible," Rey pointed out. "I grew up having to hear many languages I didn't understand. That didn't make me incapable of communicating with others. What if they have technology that could help us get out of here?"

"Yes, well, I doubt things would end well. I'd rather stay put, where we have a system. There's order here, and I have less stress on my plate."

Clenching her jaw, she doubted Hux would ever sway on the issue. He did seem rather insistent on their routine, despite the possibility of facing civilization. Though… Rey doubted she and Hux would actually find anything except more strange creatures. And he was right, they needed less distraction, less attachment to this place.

If only she could find some way to really focus on the bigger picture.

So, the first few days they dedicated their mornings to cleaning through the wreckage, burying bodies and salvaging broken scrap for useful tools, mostly as utensils for meals and ways to carry more items around the planet. Rey had gotten used to carrying a Stormtrooper blaster, as well as her lightsaber on her, just in case, as her near run in with the large, mysterious creature had since made her slightly paranoid. But twenty-one days later and still no sign of it—so Rey had no idea whether or not to determine that run in as an anomaly or the calm before some sort of storm coming their way. Hux, of course, still didn't believe it existed.

In the afternoons she and Hux would silently explore together, using either his blaster or a Stormtrooper blaster to mark trees, so their main path would always consist of her lightsaber marks, and they'd never get lost back to the clearing. She started utilizing parts of the environment, finding that the leaves on the trees closest to the clearing were best for fire kindling, and some vines could be used for rope of some kind, far better than the frayed wires she'd been using before.

During this time she would try and spark up some sort of conversation, ranging from topics of many kinds, from things as mundane as the weather to whether or not he piloted any sort of ship as a General. Anything pertaining to their current situation, she noticed, he would answer minimally, and anything having to do with whatever happened in the First Order, or his past, he would cautiously avoid, stepping over her questions as quickly as he could, or just ignoring her altogether until she changed the subject. When this was the case, she brought up something she could disclose about her past on Jakku, if only just to slightly annoy him. But he never commented on her "shrill voice," as he so bluntly put it that first day, she noticed. Instead he would grunt and nod along, actually listening to when she excitedly related the time she found an X-Wing that altogether got her 37 portions from what she scavenged, or when she talked about how she moved into an old AT-AT Imperial Walker to make her home. Conveniently she avoided any talk of what happened after she crossed paths with BB-8, and she wondered if he was counting on her to let something slip, to ever use to his advantage. But she had so far been well aware of what she'd been telling him.

He still annoyingly wore his uniform, his damned pride still keeping him from disassociating himself with his affiliation, even just a bit. He'd sling the jacket over his bad shoulder, half wearing it, but the coat he always mercifully left behind. Sometimes Rey would still wake with it draped over her, from what she assumed was from her shivering. How he was able to stay so calm from wearing all black, she'd never understand, and Rey swore he washed the damn thing far more often she did her own clothes.

After exploring, when the sun was starting to set and they went on the trek for firewood as well, picking up whatever they thought would work, they'd go back to the clearing and settle down a bit. Rey would strip down and catch dinner, and to avoid looking at her, Hux would put all his time in making sure each stick was piled nicely. She figured the creatures were still too dumb enough to realize they were being caught and killed, so Rey took advantage of it, catching one or two of them a day for the two of them. By this point they both realized the best way to cook the fish was to rid it of its fins and head and blacken the skin a bit—and honestly this food was far better than the Empire portions she was so used to. She did, however, miss Resistance food, as there were real cooks making mass meals for everyone fighting the cause. Everyone ate with their colleagues, and Rey enjoyed the conversations between her and Finn and Poe, when she bragged about beating Finn in yet another spar, or when she lived vicariously through what she figured was a bit of a flirtation between her two new friends.

Hux never partook in such conversation. Rey never laughed along with him, never teased him without getting him worked up. Mostly there was silence, aside from the sound of their chewing. What she was starting to subconsciously notice, though, was that they were sitting closer and closer together, to the point where, if she wanted, Rey could lean her head on his shoulder.

Not that she wanted to or anything. It was merely an observation.

After dinner Rey would take the first watch, shaking her hair out of its buns. Hux would silently ball his jacket with his left hand and lie on his back to sleep, saying nothing—not even wishing her a good night. During this time Rey tried to keep herself occupied in order to efficiently stay up—not only did she bathe during this time, as per Hux's request, but she would take one of the tools she started making to scratch away what marked yet another day on this planet, on a smaller piece of scrap. She figured she was doing it out of habit, after doing this exercise on Jakku. But she'd been on Jakku for so long she couldn't even remember how many days she'd spent there. All that mattered was that she was finally out, now that the burden of waiting for a family that would never come was finally off her shoulders. As for here, though, she figured this count wouldn't— _shouldn't_ —exceed longer than a hundred days. Twenty-two were gone now.

On another piece of scrap Rey would look up at the sky and map out the stars she observed, scratching them out so that maybe she and Hux could look at this together, could make their own constellations and maybe figure if they could recognize _anything_ from their collective efforts. She was only about halfway done with this, trying to be as accurate as she could for doing this freehand. When she started to get frustrated with placement, or just over the mere fact that she started placing where they were in the bigger picture of the universe, which happened a lot more often than she would like to admit, she would take a few deep breaths and stop for the evening.

Even worse, this was when she started to let her gaze wander. It'd start with the sky, and Rey knew she should take this time to start meditating, but her eyes would always, _always_ settle on the fire, and then eventually on Hux's hair, and then to his face. Damn it, it _always_ ended up back on him.

It wasn't even just in sleep, either. Sometimes Rey would catch herself wondering if his eyes were green or blue, depending on the lighting, and sometimes they'd settle on the thick pout of his lips, and how when they walked together, they parted oh so slightly. At first she was focusing so much on his hair, but Rey figured that had to simply do with the fact that she had just never seen a shade before. She'd asked if it was a natural color once.

He frowned, his scowl growing as he answered, "Yes—it's not such a terribly huge deal, and you shouldn't treat it as such."

Which meant that this wasn't the first time someone had asked him that, Rey concluded. And his response was probably some sort of defense after… being made fun of, she supposed. But she kept her mouth shut, and if she found herself looking at his mussed hair, which he still slicked back every morning, it was when his back was to her or his eyes were closed. And the more she looked at it, she was always much less taken aback by it and more… fascinated. If she were really tired, she'd wonder what it felt like to stroke her fingers through it, if it felt coarse or soft.

And she'd then shake her head—General Hux, fifteen years her elder, _attractive_? Poe Dameron was attractive with his olive skin and dark eyes; Han Solo in his youth was attractive with his roguish charm, from what Leia had reminisced of him. General Hux had stiffness and stuffiness, and he barked orders and seemed to treat her like dirt, or like a plaything with how he teased her, hiding her lightsaber every morning. His hair screamed orange and the white of his skin stood out even more against the black uniform he insisted on wearing. His cheekbones only grew sharper with how little food there was on this planet, and she could hardly believe how _thin_ he was for such an imposing First Order officer. No matter what, he always stood and sat erect, like he must be pristine in all affairs.

Yet asleep, Rey could only stare. The cut on the arch of his left eyebrow had developed into a thin, red scar. His eyes looked less sunken, his light lashes twitching every once in a while. At profile she noticed the straight angle of his nose, his heavy breathing escaping from those thick, slightly parted lips that somehow managed to never look chapped.

Damn it, she needed to _stop_. She _wasn't_ attracted to such a strange looking man—it had to do with the fact that he was the only one here to provide her any company or solace, despite the little warmth he gave off. Besides, she knew so little about him, despite her numerous attempts to get him to open up, even just a little bit. Even if there was an attraction—which there wasn't—at the moment it was mostly physical.

And that was the point at which Rey would try to meditate and clear her mind of every thought running through her system. She'd take deep breaths, feeling her chest expand completely, hold it for a few moments, let it out, repeat. She'd close her eyes and with each exhale she would try and let go everything negative on her mind and focus more on the Force, on the progress she'd made so far. At the very least she was building more of a connection to her weapon, and lately she could start to feel herself… expand during meditation, that she was something outside her body. She'd get a taste for it, but then she'd start thinking about the damned planet on which she and Hux were stuck, and the negativity would fill her again. She'd try, again and again, but there was always something blocking the way.

And no, the last thing Rey expected was for this to be easy in the slightest. It really tested her limits in her powers, showed her just how much of a novice she was. She couldn't even swim—and at the moment, didn't have anyone to teach her, since not only did Hux have his broken arm to deal with, but his stigma about seeing her body, and probably a self-consciousness about his own appearance. She remembered the twin scars adorning his shoulder blades from the first day: the long, vertical marks that hadn't healed from what she assumed was a rather nasty accident from years ago. And she doubted that if she asked, he would tell her the story, despite her curiosity. He was probably banking on her never even noticing she'd even seen them. He probably wouldn't tell the story to a lover or a friend, even.

Again, her thoughts led back to Hux. She needed to stop such foolish thinking. His affiliation and reputation came before everything, that much Rey did gather from what she'd observed of him. It could be seen as a positive, as it meant he was fiercely loyal and sharp. But all Rey got out of this was frustration, and his closed-off nature only created this rift between them that she desperately wanted gone in the name of survival.

At the same time, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle whatever baggage he carried. Sure, she'd lived a tough life, but the lives they'd led were so different—whatever he found difficult had an entirely different definition than her own. Not that she didn't want to feel any sympathy for him, but she was more afraid of how her perception of him would change.

Hux mentioned that his arm should be completely healed in a few more weeks. Rey wasn't sure whether or not she was inclined to believe him, or if he just wanted to say that so he was out of the sling and could do more than what he'd been limited to thus far. But she'd had her share of injuries on Jakku, and the timing did match. She definitely had to see that as a positive, as then they could really utilize each other's skills for survival, even though Hux was still completely competent. This meant that maybe they could spar, maybe they could hunt.

And maybe, if he got rid of that stigma, he'd teach her how to swim.

Her thoughts were interrupted, however, by hearing Hux stir in his sleep. Usually he didn't make much of a sound, apart from his breathing, but this was different—this was him tossing, just a bit. She heard a few groans, and that's when she went on the alert.

A nightmare. She hadn't heard him stir any other night before this. But then again, Rey had her share of nightmares, too, all of them inconsistent. Should she wake him? It was getting awfully close to when it was time for him to take his watch, anyway, so she decided this would be more humane than just waiting for him to wake himself up. And with how he tossed, his brows furrowing, Rey realized this was probably the most vulnerable she'd ever seen him.

Quickly Rey kneeled before him, wondering how to go about this. When she shook his shoulder gently nothing happened, like he couldn't even regard her. So she shook a bit harder. "Hux," she tried, but it was clear her best option was to really try here, and apologize later for getting into his precious personal space.

Without thinking she shook him again, then placed a hand on his face. She tried not to note that it actually felt a lot smoother than she'd imagined. " _Hux_ ," she tried again, her voice a bit louder. "Come on, wake up."

His eyes flew open, and he started to sit up with a gasp. Rey's hand rested another second on his face, before flying away so he wouldn't scold her. She took in his heavy breathing, the rapid rise and fall of his chest. Hux leaned up on his good elbow, staring to dart his eyes around to figure out just where he was, and Rey gave him the time to reestablish himself. She scooted away, giving him a bit of space.

When he regarded her, that's when he closed his eyes again. "Damn," he uttered. "I was hoping that wouldn't happen with you around."

This wasn't something by chance…? He had nightmares often? Or did he have them sort of sparingly, about the same thing? Rey decided to press her luck, given his frantic state. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked just as lowly, balling her hands up into fists at her sides so she had no reason to reach out and touch him. But something within her compelled her to comfort him—and she wasn't sure why. But when Finn had similar problems, and he came to talk to her, Rey provided whatever she could as a nurturing figure, as they both didn't know what a mother was, what comfort really felt like. Being able to provide it for someone else, she figured, must have been her own sort of coping mechanism.

"No," he quickly assured, shaking his head. He sat up completely, waving her away. "I'll start my watch, since now I'm up."

"Are you sure?" Rey asked, holding her hands above him, as if to somehow coax him back into lying down. "I'm more than capable of being up a bit longer, you know, if you need to—"

"I'm not a _child_ ," he snapped, this time swatting her hands. "Stop worrying."

Rey took a calming breath, if only to stop herself from yelling at him, because she was _so frustrated_ that he wouldn't just start opening up already. They'd been in each other's presence so prominently for days—they had no one else on which to rely here. "Yes, fine. If you think being on your watch will help," she decided, watching as he stood.

He left his coat still bundled up into a pillow, and seemed to forget about it. Rey stretched herself out and laid her head down on it. It was thicker than her vest, which is what she usually used to keep her head elevated. Before she closed her eyes she watched Hux stretch his arm over his head, taking a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair. When he sat before the fire she saw him hunch over a bit, his eyes glazing over as he lost his gaze in the dancing flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I have to thank everyone who's commented or liked this story, or has given me ideas. If you'd like to direct message me, I'm pretty quick about answering my tumblr (thederpyhipster) instant messages, since I know I'm not always the best at replying to your amazing comments. But trust me, I do read them, and they always put a smile on my face. You guys really inspire me to keep going here.


	9. Woe Is Me: If We're Not Careful Turns into Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as promised, here's the Hux-centric chapter! I do RP as him, but this was still incredibly difficult, as he's a character we don't know a lot about right now. But this is how I see him, for the most part. I've been talking to a lot more readers, and it's really helped me keep going! We're in the final stretch here! I'm actually supposed to finish this story (or at least be at 40k words) in two weeks' time, by the 11th.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 9: "Woe is Me: If We're Not Careful Turns into Reality"**

"You're not doing it right."

She dropped her hand back to her side, turning to Hux. The frustration in her eyes grew the more she tried and failed. He noticed when this happened, they looked more brown than green, the darkness in them taking over. "You said to hold my hand out, concentrate, and move that rock. Am I not doing just that?" she probed, if only to annoy him further. "It's still not moving."

How to explain. Taking a deep breath, Hux stepped forward and wondered why, as a supposedly powerful Jedi, she just wasn't getting it. "Because you're not doing it right," he repeated. He couldn't make himself any clearer.

"Then _what_ exactly am I doing wrong, Hux?" she asked, clearly exasperated.

"Try it again," he answered instead, this time keeping a keen eye on every move she made.

Rey sighed, but raised her hand again, frowning at the large rock a few paces away. She could lift small things, he noticed, but when it came to something larger than, say, her head, she struggled. Shouldn't she be past all that here? Or was her master really that incompetent with teaching her the basics? Or did it have something to do with this damned planet? Even Ren did this practice often. Granted, it was always on something of Hux's, if just to make his day _that_ much worse, but it was _something_. Hux took in her wide stance, her stiff arm, her furrowed brow. And therein laid the problem, particularly with the way she breathed. Because her core wasn't aligned, nothing else was working. The rock didn't budge, and with each passing second she only tensed up more.

"You're not _breathing_ right," he finally pointed out, and she turned to him again, still confused. But how could she not know that? She dropped her hand to her side again.

"So should it be like this?" she asked, taking a far too shallow breath into her chest.

" _No_ ," he answered, not wanting to actually show her. "Breathe lower."

"Lower?"

So it was going to be like that. Clenching his jaw, Hux moved behind her, his toes just behind her heels. From here he could see the slight glisten of her tanned skin, how her dark hair always seemed to look wet, even in the confines of those three terribly stupid buns. "Distribute your weight equally between both feet," he ordered, but kept his voice low. From here he could see just over her head, and he focused his gaze mostly on the rock she'd been trying to move.

"Okay," she said. Hux looked down, noticing she'd gotten that part right.

"Now hold your arm out and reach for that rock." When she did so, Hux could see her clearly not relaxed. Her breath was coming out far shallower than normal, but Hux figured that had something more to do with the humidity of the planet than anything. "No… you're far too stiff."

"I'm _trying_ to relax, but you're right there," she muttered, half of the phrase through clenched teeth.

"Pretend I'm not," he said stubbornly, rolling his eyes. Could she really not use her imagination for a bit here? He placed his good hand over her side, close to her hip. "This is how low you should be breathing, not just into your chest. Now before you start moving that rock, move my hand first."

He felt her shake slightly, and yes, Hux knew he didn't touch her, ever. He didn't really want to—he knew the implications of it, the subtle meanings behind every little thing. But she just wasn't getting it, and he wasn't sure how else to explain. She breathed, and it barely moved his thumb. Something about him touching her must have gotten her so worked up, and no, he couldn't blame her. But in the name of getting off this damned planet, after all this time, he could sacrifice a bit of his dignity.

"Lower," he ordered, keeping his voice soft, and she turned to him with a lowering arm and a raised brow.

"What?" His own brow raised, as well. "Breathe lower than that. I said move my _hand_ , not my finger."

What could possibly be going through that dim head of hers? It was like no matter what he was saying, she just didn't seem to listen. "If you breathe from your core, everything else will just fall into place."

"Do you do this exercise with Ren?" she teased, and the mere mention of Kylo Ren made Hux sneer. It'd been days since he'd thought about the bastard—so far the _only_ good thing about being stranded on this planet was the fact that he didn't have to deal with the tantrums, the constant need for validation from the Supreme Leader, the rash decisions Ren made to undermine Hux.

" _No_ ," he growled in reply, hoping that scared her off enough so that she didn't ask about Ren again.

And she didn't. Good. Rey instead flushed and turned back to face the rock. Hux realized his hand had tensed on her side, almost squeezing her. Slowly he relaxed it, taking a few deep breaths of his own. "Apologies," he murmured.

She finally breathed correctly when she prepared to speak again. "No, I shouldn't have—"

"That. That's it," he suddenly declared, feeling her stomach expand.

"Wh-what?" she uttered, turning to him again.

"That was it. You breathed correctly." But now she was thinking terribly too hard about it, and she faltered again. "Try again. Close your eyes, if you must. You're thinking about this too hard."

Slowly Rey faced the rock. Hux watched her plant her feet firmly to root herself, and she took the time to breathe deeply, lowly. Eventually she moved the hand he had placed on her side.

"Again," he ordered, not realizing he'd leaned in a bit more toward her, his lips just a hair away from grazing the shell of her ear. He'd been watching her side so intently, hoping to see her breathe correctly. She breathed a bit shakily, but succeeded a few more times.

"Okay." Hux finally stepped back when he finally deemed her ready. "Now slowly ease your arm up—stay relaxed," he directed, and Rey actually listened. "Concentrate. And remember to _breathe_."

Hux clenched his right fist and relaxed, then repeated. Probably not the best thing to do with his broken arm, but it didn't really hurt anymore, and the sooner he got the damn splint off the sooner he could actually _do_ something. He scrutinized Rey's every move, and when her fingers stretched out, and she squinted, concentrating at the task at hand, he watched the rock slowly lift from the soil. Hadn't she done things like this with her master? Or was she rusty? Was the Force just… not strong enough all the way out here? Not like he would know or anything—he wasn't sensitive to it.

It lifted higher. Hux watched Rey's expression turn from pure concentration to exhilaration, the green returning to her eyes. He willed her not to look at him, wanted her to just keep going with this, as it meant bringing them one step closer to going back. And while his hopes weren't high for being returned to the First Order, he at least wanted to see _civilization_ again. And who knew, there was the possibility of escape. If the Resistance pilot and FN-2187 could escape _The Finalizer_ , and _if_ push came to shove, and even if the girl made good on her promise to vouch for his case, Hux could certainly evade the enemy.

He'd rather it not come to that, however. Far too complicated.

It lifted over her head, and then she slowly set it down in one smooth motion. Hux noticed that the entire time, she did breathe the way he'd told her to, her sides expanding, her breaths deep and rooted. "I… did it!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together. And normally Hux wouldn't see this as a great feat, but out here, after this much time, from something _he'd_ taught from a subject on which he knew very little, it was _something_. Nodding, he took a step toward her, pushing his hair back.

"Yes, well, it's a start," he said, his enthusiasm much more subdued. Nevertheless, it was something. A small step toward that ultimate goal. Frustrated as he was with this damn planet, and this unusual situation, if he didn't show patience, Rey would catch on and they'd never get out of here if she fed off of that.

"I know, it's not much, you're right," she replied. "But yes, it's far better than nothing."

It wasn't much cause for celebration, but she didn't come down from that high for the rest of the afternoon. Had he not been as used to her as he was becoming, he'd be far angrier.

Damn. He hated admitting that, that he was getting used to her presence, her essence, her damned personality. She was the enemy, after all, and here they were, working together. There was the survivor part of him that knew they had to utilize each other in order to get out of here, and the part of him loyal to the First Order, that saw this girl and was immediately repulsed.

And then there was another part, that he couldn't place. Hux kept it tucked away in the far corner of his mind, and he refused to address it—didn't want to see what it revealed about himself. But with each passing day, with more time he and Rey spent together, that terrible, tiny, awful piece of him would only continue to make itself known.

* * *

There was something about sitting before the fire, eating together, that made Hux feel more susceptible to listening to Rey's ramblings of… well, whatever was on her mind at the moment. She talked far too often, yet Hux still found himself listening and… responding to her. He remembered hearing about why she kept the X-Wing helmet she'd found, dreaming of the day her parents came for her. He'd nod, he'd hum in acknowledgement, and inside he would scream as to why he acted like he _cared_. It must have been because there just wasn't anything else to do on this damned planet.

Tonight started out no different, the usual silence permeating the air until Rey decided to fill it. Hux watched Rey rotate her fish over the fire, and Hux looked from that to his own spear.

"You always give me the bigger fish out of what you believe to be compassion, but is really pity," he observed, clenching his jaw. "It's not as if I was malnourished before, you know."

He knew that her seeing him without his uniform would immediately cause her to pity him, and this damned broken arm didn't make things any better. How humiliating. To the girl, he was little more than a patient, a child, even. Never mind that he commanded his First Order troops with an iron fist, that he found inventive ways to hide her precious weapon, or that he still proved himself quite useful with his blaster skills. No. She must have seen the scars, and came to her own conclusion as to why she felt him so damaged.

"It's not out of pity," she tried, though Hux heard her voice falter, as if she were caught in the act.

"Then what, pray tell, is it, given that I am always handed the bigger catch of the night, every night," he said, keeping his eye on the flame rather than on her.

She paused, considering what to say.

"You think me too thin," he ended up answering for her, scoffing, and her lack of a response only confirmed this suspicion.

Despite his frame, Hux tried to use it as an advantage back in the Arkanis Academy, where whenever his opponents thought him weak, he'd prove them wrong in subverting using other tactics: his quick wit, his agility, his ruthlessness. But he would think of the keen eye his father kept on him, the scrutiny of such a gaze in most training sessions and simulations, the standard by which he was measured, and somehow always failed to live up to. As a child he always thought that perhaps it had to do with his thinner shape, or the strange color of his hair.

It'd taken Hux far too long to realize that no matter what, he'd never _truly_ succeed. Despite the fact that this was all he knew, that he was _born_ into this new era to build upon the ashes of the fallen Empire, the steps he'd take to earn his father's approval only set him back further. For there was always something that either stood in his way or just somehow was not correct.

 _Too much empathy_ , his father had always critiqued. How he'd seen that in his son, who took strides to emphasize and push the boundaries of his own cruelty, always baffled Hux. Certainly he had no empathy when destroying the Hosnian System, the base of the dreaded New Republic, just under a year ago.

Then again, Brendol Hux hadn't been around to witness his greatest victory thus far. He'd died still thinking his son a failure.

"Then it's your metabolism?" she guessed, instead of keeping quiet. She pulled her fish back from the fire, and Hux noted she preferred it a bit less done, though still cooked rather thoroughly.

When she'd seen the scars, he figured, no wonder she'd decided to take pity on him. Then again, he rarely had to look at them, grateful they did not mar his flesh in a more noticeable area, like, say, Ren's new scar, which he bore on his face with humiliation and contempt for the girl currently sitting beside Hux.

Not being completely dedicated, and turning away for even a moment, could certainly result in such an accident. Because knowing his father's eyes were on him for this final examination might have had something to do with the one moment he faltered, to only be in the line of fire of a particularly nasty explosion. When he woke up in the MedBay a few days later, he'd only been greeted by a droid.

"Whatever the reason, it's none of your business," he snapped, taking another bite.

She huffed, as he expected she would, but he wished she'd just let it go and stay silent, as she usually did when he closed off. Was it not obvious that he didn't really like talking about himself? What made her so determined to ask him such things?

"It's been days, but you still treat me as if I am the enemy," she said, and he could feel her eyes on him. "We work together, but I don't enjoy the mental separation."

He scoffed, as this sympathy plea wasn't working for him. "You really won't like what you'll find if you pry a bit deeper," he warned.

But of course that didn't ward her off. "You could at least teach me how you've made your mind so… impenetrable."

"I had no _choice_ ," he suddenly blurted, shuddering at the penetrating feeling, as if everything he'd ever tried to protect within himself was suddenly brought forward. The mind was the only place anyone could _truly_ hide, and to not have that, to be so exposed… Well, there was another thing he and Rey had in common. He'd never really approved of that method of Ren's, but given that he'd called it torture, Hux couldn't exactly disagree. And by the time Ren started this method on others, it was well after Hux had figured out just what to do to make sure he would never be subject to such a feeling again.

The infuriating Kylo Ren: immature, young, feeling as if, just because the Supreme Leader took interest in him, he had a free pass to do whatever he damn well pleased. Rey might have her own reasons to hate him, but hate was apparently less warranted to those supposedly with the same affiliation.

"You… you _hate_ him, don't you?" she said quietly, knowing this accusation would definitely push a button. "I can see it in these… small indications, mostly in your eyes, that you probably do."

And what a relief it felt, to finally admit aloud, "Yes," and she would listen. And probably agree. Such a weight, imaginary as it was, lifted off her shoulders so effortlessly. She wouldn't tell him that he was just being spiteful because they had a rivalry going on, or that, as a soldier, he shouldn't have time for such petty feelings.

He stared into the fire, knowing that if he looked back at Rey, her face would only scream empathy—he didn't know if he could handle those eyes gazing at him with such intensity.

But then it was _her_ time to scoff. "I didn't think _this_ would be the big thing we had in common."

"Yes, well, now you know. And if there's one good thing that has come out of this whole ordeal, it's that I don't have to think about Ren, or deal with his idiotic tantrums, so _thank you_ for bringing him up here."

But this confession didn't sate Rey in the slightest. Even though this would be around the time when he would sleep and she would take the first watch, they continued to just sit, staring out into the fire.

"I didn't think it went that far, for two people supposedly with the same affiliation."

Now that he'd started speaking, it was like his filter had completely shut down, stopped working. He couldn't censor himself anymore; he supposed that when that imaginary weight had lifted, something about letting go just felt so… _good_. "Because he wasn't brought up in this world. He was taken into it, thrust into the top of the ranks without _earning_ a damned thing."

Hux had been nearly twenty, working his way up through First Order ranks, and all of a sudden, he was to associate himself with someone who had previously been part of the New Republic, of the Resistance. That he came from those he was taught to hate. The rift had been there from the beginning, with Ren acting more like a privileged _child_ with how he had just been handed his First Order status because the Supreme Leader had deemed him worthy, and no one questioned it. Sure, Ren had proven his loyalty by slaughtering others and turning his back on his family, but in Hux's eyes, that made him even more reprehensible, as he'd been raised by loyalty, had been taught that no matter what, he must always remain true to his father and to the First Order. Yet here this man was, defying everything Hux had been taught to believe, one-upping him just because he could read minds and wield a lightsaber.

Not to mention Hux had always been Ren's plaything for a good part of what Ren considered his "training," always having to watch his back so his datapad wasn't suddenly being levitated, or that Ren wouldn't mumble just what was on his mind, moments after he'd scoured through it. Or, worse, when he stopped Hux dead in his tracks, prohibiting him of movement for seconds, like there was a permeating weight from which he couldn't escape.

"You fight so terribly for the approval of your father," Ren had said, and Hux could _tell_ there was a smirk to go along with the condescending tone of Ren's voice, behind the mask. "But you'll find life much easier without such a burdening tie to family."

What did _he_ know, anyway? Who was he to judge Hux's past, his motivations? If Hux could, he'd certainly teach this brat a few lessons. And things had not been better off since then, with the two of them in constant competition to be the face of the First Order.

"I suppose that is rather frustrating." Meaning she'd never been in such a situation. Acceptable, given her nomad status. She didn't discourage him, which gave Hux all the more reason to just keep ranting. Why couldn't he stop?

"It was more than that. It was infuriating," he replied, finishing off his fish and throwing the rest into the fire with more gusto than usual. The whole conversation had got him worked up instead of tired. But Hux remembered the schedule he had so quietly implemented, and realized he should make more of an effort to keep up with it. Still, having her listen, and not undermine him, was certainly a welcome change of pace.

"You gave him that scar, yes?" he asked, wanting clarification. This time he wasn't as hesitant to glance back at her, even for a moment. Her gaze had softened quite a bit, almost looking… well, understanding. "The one that now permeates half his face?"

"Yes," she replied, throwing her own stick into the fire. "But I honestly didn't mean to. In the heat of the moment, I suppose something inside me just… wanted to see him pay for what he'd done to his father, and to me, and to Finn."

"The bastard deserved it," Hux admitted, stretching his legs out a bit. "He'd been on a pedestal for so long, and it was time someone brought him down a peg or two." Even if that someone was from the Resistance—Hux would make an exception for affiliation if it meant humiliating Ren. He remembered the damned whimpering when Hux had finally gathered Ren into a ship during the destruction of Starkiller Base, the slight smirk that graced his face when he realized Ren's face would always bear the embarrassing reminder that he'd failed against a novice who'd never wielded a lightsaber before. There was just something so _gratifying_ about it all, like he could take a good breath of fresh air for what seemed like the first time in years. Maybe he'd finally learned some damned humility, and finally know, for once, that even in that huge head of his, he wasn't the best at everything. Even Captain Phasma, whom Hux had to fish out of the trash compactor, seemed to hold her head up higher after being humiliated by her former soldier, and had also complained of Ren's incessant whining.

Honestly, Hux hadn't seen Ren since taking him back to the Supreme Leader to finish his training. But now that he was likely presumed dead, who knew _what_ was happening to the First Order.

He looked up at those unfamiliar stars, swallowing thickly as he let that sink in.

His head quickly snapped back to Rey when she suddenly reached over and brushed her fingers on his arm. "It's good to talk your anger out, you know?" she said, and the knowing smile gracing her face would have annoyed him, had it not looked so… understanding. Usually Hux relied on a shooting range, or some sort of busy work, but here he had no such outlet. And for some reason, actually _speaking_ of what'd been on his mind for years now made that weight lift off his shoulders until it didn't seem to exist anymore.

"And is that what you did?" he jabbed, just to get the last word. This was getting too sentimental, and she'd yet to move her hand from his arm, as if they had some sort of camaraderie. "On Jakku, alone?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact," she huffed, keeping her hand where it was, as some act of defiance. "Even if it was just to my echoing house or out in the sands, because sometimes it's just better to scream than to keep it all bottled inside."

To Hux, though, screaming meant showing that weakness his father never wanted to see. It was Ren throwing another one of his idiotic tantrums. Then why did it feel so… _good_ , what he'd confessed to Rey?

"I'm going to sleep," he suddenly announced, standing. He was learning and reliving too many terrible things about himself.

"Oh… Yes, I suppose it's getting late."

Hux folded his coat with more gusto than usual, wishing yet again that the days would pass more quickly so he could finally get this damned splint off. He wanted to swim, and spar, and shoot, and hunt, and not feel his arm so confined when it could do so much more than his left. But he instead just lay down with his back to the fire, so he wouldn't have to look at her.

After such a terrible confession, he drifted off all too fast. At night sometimes he would hear a song, when he was right in that limbo between being awake and asleep—the voice far too sweet to be from any memory of his, but it soothed him all the same.

* * *

She always woke him in such a gentle way, save the time he'd suffered the nightmare. Whenever this happened, it was usually that bleak memory of being unable to move, though he would thrash about in bed. Sometimes it was the feeling of exposure, of his thoughts being said back to him in Kylo Ren's condescending, mocking tone. Sometimes it was his father, relaying every failure he'd ever committed.

But he blinked awake to see her hair shaken out again, still wet around her shoulders. "Hux?" He looked up at the stars, instead of at her. "It's your watch."

Slowly he sat up, shaking his head at her attempts to help him yet again. But he switched places with her, keeping his coat for her to use as a makeshift pillow, as she already had before. Besides, the planet was too damned warm and humid, yet he stubbornly kept his uniform on, as whenever he considered perhaps losing the jacket, or rolling the sleeves up, something within him just couldn't do it—his _pride_ wouldn't let him do it.

He couldn't suggest that she sleep with her back to the fire, as he usually did, because she would then ask why. She always faced it, her skin glowing just a bit, her hair brushing her cheeks.

It was because she was younger and they had been here alone for far too long a time, that was the excuse Hux had for this terrible attraction, which he always pushed to the back of his mind. He tried to keep himself active during his watch, knowing he could never leave their makeshift camp, except when he stole her weapon away to hide it yet again. So he cleaned up, and he bathed, and he used his reflection in the water to shave. He noticed the scrap she had used to map out the stars, and sometimes Hux would help her along, before he got too frustrated with not having the tools in order to make such a map very accurate. And then he would wonder if she thought the same.

When his thoughts went back to her, or his sight did, that's when he'd curse his tether to their camp, wishing he could just run off for the rest of the night, or do some more exploring to keep his mind active, without her very prominent presence next to him.

A First Order General, romancing a young Jedi in the Resistance. His father would surely cackle at the notion. Hux suspected she didn't even know of such terrible things, of the painful sting of attraction, the doomed sense of the mind clouded with prominent thoughts of someone so unattainable. He kept these thoughts private, hidden, refusing to ever let them show, unless he was just sitting here, alone with nothing to do but _watch_.

Watch the rise and fall of her breast, the dying fire enhancing the color in her tanned skin, the smatter of small freckles across her nose, the dark of her hair brushing her cheeks. Not only was it going against everything he'd been taught (which was to only find an attraction to someone not only within the First Order, but for the sole purpose of procreation), but with his age and his less than conventional looks, he doubted anything was reciprocated. Which was definitely for the better, as it meant this would pass, as soon as she finally helped them out of here and he never had to see her again.

The thought did occur to him that, even if Rey made good on that promise to vouch for him to the Resistance, they would not take that into account, and hold him hostage for answers, or have him executed. FN-2187, traitor he was, would probably advocate for such a thing, as would General Organa, as if Hux had been the one to tempt her son to the Dark Side. He'd accepted this fate, to die for his cause, from when he was a mere child, still in the Academy. It was the first thing they drilled into every cadet's head.

But to come so far, to only fail, now _that_ he hadn't been expecting.

Like most thoughts of Rey, he shoved these thoughts to the back of his head and tried to forget them, tucking them away with all the other terrible things of which he'd been forbidden to think. But they'd always find a way of creeping in again, especially when he wasn't active, or working, or focusing on something else entirely. It made the nights even longer.

Whenever he took her lightsaber, which every night she would place either in her holster or beside her head, Hux would feel the weight of it, would contemplate activating it as a source of light despite the rising sun, wondered what made this a superior weapon to any blaster. But he knew it wouldn't mean the same thing to him, the way this felt in Rey's hands. He remembered taking it once, knowing of his likely fate, and well aware of his growing attraction to the girl, and contemplated just doing away with the both of them.

But he figured that taking the coward's way out would only be his last regret in life—and a terrible regret at that. So he went through the motions, elongated his time, let the days stretch out to as long and horrible as they were, where he often had to distract himself from those permeating thoughts of noticing things like how Rey could effortlessly reach up to any branch and climb a tree, the muscles in her arms only growing, or how she'd bite her bottom lip when she was embarrassed, or how increasingly difficult it was to keep his eyes completely off her when she went fishing. He hated that he knew the curve of her body, without having touched her or even really seen her. He hated how capable and powerful she was, making him feel completely inferior.

After he'd hid her saber for the day, he headed back to the camp, knowing she wouldn't be up until the sun started beating on her. When the light was decent Hux would look on his arm, undoing the sling and observing the splint. Perhaps he would heal early, he hoped, balling his hand up into a fist again before grabbing his primitive razor, heading to the edge of the river.

Shaving left-handed had taken a while to get used to, but taking care into each stroke helped, knowing that patience would keep his appearance in check with such a strange, makeshift blade. Hux would look at his reflection in the river, frowning at his burned skin, his messy hair. He could hardly understand how she could look much more put together— _pretty_ , even—while no matter how hard he tried, he'd always be odd. He always noticed her eyes on his hair, even now, as if it were a foreign thing growing from his head. Hux had gotten enough teasing his whole life, yet the comments still stuck, as did the staring. Luckily she hardly mentioned it. Yet every so often he'd catch her gaze moving up, and then her eyes would snap back, pretending to focus on the task at hand again.

When she woke later, she offered him a gentle smile, and Hux kicked the burnt pile of sticks that was their dead campfire aside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter where I will gladly take suggestions for change, as, like I said, writing for Hux, while super interesting, is also really difficult. Maybe I'll do this for a later chapter, but for now, we're going back to Rey's perspective for a bit. As always, I appreciate all of your comments and messages, especially when you guys reach out to me on other forms of media! You're all lovely people.


	10. Blow a Kiss, Fire a Gun; All We Need Is Somebody to Lean On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've got six days to reach 40k words. And this is what I've done to myself. 9000 words to go! So like I said, there are just going to be rapid updates now that it's finals week. Heh, kill me now. But I do get really inspired by all the lovely comments! I just wish I had more time to reply to all of you.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 10: "Blow a Kiss, Fire a Gun; All We Need Is Somebody to Lean On"**

It was like he was distancing himself even more, ever since that confession before the fire, when he finally said he actually hated Kylo Ren. Now Rey could barely get a word out of him, unless when he wanted her to do something, or when he assisted with her training. No matter what she tried, he'd only grunt in reply—and he barely looked at her anymore. Was that confession really such a terrible thing? Just when Rey thought they'd had something in common—and they _did_ , there was no denying that now—he only separated them even more, made the rift bigger.

So she had to change something about that, as these silent days were starting to become unbearable. Maybe to Hux this silence was fine, but Rey didn't want there to be much separation between them, as she could tell it would start affecting how she used her powers, if he doubted her. She remembered earlier asking if he would at least show her how to block someone trying to read her mind, if Kylo Ren tried again, but Hux never answered the question. Perhaps now was the best time to at least attempt talking to him again.

After her levitation practices, which, after remembering how low his hand had been on her side, Rey had significantly improved. She turned to Hux. Rey had just lifted a fallen tree trunk, much larger and heavier than the rock she'd lifted the first time. If Yoda, Luke's former Master, could lift a sunken X-Wing, anything here should be manageable, that's what she now told herself.

"What?" Hux demanded, his voice still sharp as ever. Every time he used that tone with her, Rey always wondered if the past few weeks even meant anything to him. Why was it that, after all this time, and all they'd been through, they still hadn't seemed to progress with their relationship very much? And yes, sure, it was laughable that Rey actually wanted to _befriend_ a First Order General, but after so many days, and given they could only rely on each other, a better camaraderie just _seemed_ inevitable. Why were they still at square one? "Staring at my hair again?"

"No!" Rey assured, though… No! She hadn't been staring just now. "I just… You never told me how you so effectively ward off Force users from reading your thoughts. And I did sort of ask about it." She lowered her arm, stepping closer to him. "Though perhaps it wasn't clear."

"It wasn't," Hux replied quickly. "But I doubt I could teach you effectively, as there's no one to test on you to see if you're warding yourself off correctly."

It wasn't like the thought hadn't crossed Rey's mind. But he could at least try. "I know that." She nodded firmly, clenching her hands into fists for a moment before relaxing them. "Perhaps you could… describe what it's like for you, then. When we're out of here, that's when I see if what you've taught works." She always said "when" instead of "if," trying to maintain her optimism, whatever was left of it. Hux said both "when" and "if" interchangeably, depending on his mood, Rey noticed. So far the things he'd taught her, despite not being Force sensitive, seemed to really resonate with her. There was how she breathed, the new connection she had to her lightsaber… Maybe when his arm healed he'd even teach her how to swim, if he got over his hang up about seeing her body.

Hux shook his drinking canister. "At the campsite," he decided. "I'm thirsty and low on water."

Rey shook her own canister as well, which was a bit more full. She could always offer hers, but really, what were they doing that required them to be out this far from the clearing, really? It was all about the change of scenery. Sadly, though, they still hadn't found another good source of drinking water. "Yes, fine," she replied, wishing he didn't keep that annoyed tone so present in his voice. It always made her feel so scrutinized. "You can go ahead and lead the way."

They'd already marked the way they came, so Hux followed that path, and Rey stayed just behind him, making sure he was always a few steps ahead of her. One time she'd accidentally stepped on the heel of his boots and he shot her daggers. Since then she didn't want a repeat, not wanting him to yell at her for ruining the precious uniform he was trying to keep pristine, though there were tears in the fabric, and the edges of his boots were caked in dried mud. Some of his decisions during their time together were just downright ridiculous. But should she point anything out, Hux would only find some other way to criticize her, or her actions, or her appearance. She couldn't win with him.

No, "win" wasn't the right word, as it implied she and Hux were in competition with each other. Perhaps he felt that way, but Rey refused to acknowledge it. She couldn't get on his level, or on his wavelength—she couldn't really _understand_ him, because he wouldn't _let_ her. He wouldn't allow _himself_ to be understood.

His closed off mindset made Rey wonder if, in the future, there would be a catalyst that _really_ started to change whatever their relationship was. Maybe not one event that would suddenly change everything, but something to get him to realize she wasn't Kylo Ren just because she could use the Force, and she wasn't the representation of the Resistance just because she fought alongside them. She thought maybe getting him to reveal the relationship he'd had with Kylo Ren would help, but whatever animosity the two of them shared, this only angered Hux more, so Rey made sure not to mention him much now, if ever. During the breathing exercise, if he squeezed her side any harder, he might have bruised her.

His expressions might have been completely stoic, for the most part, but like Rey had mentioned, there was this intensity in his eyes when he thought about Ren. She could imagine the clench of his jaw, the sharp intake of breath. He'd been bottling that hate up for years, she figured. And up until now he'd had nowhere to scream. She couldn't imagine such a world, in which she just couldn't express herself.

They continued on toward the clearing, following their marks, when Rey heard something lurking in the shadows.

It'd been quite a while since that first time Rey had seen the large creature on the other side of the river, but this wasn't her hiding from it, observing it, describing it to Hux, who didn't exactly believe her at the time. This thing now made itself known before them, almost as if _it_ had been watching them this whole time, waiting for the right moment to strike.

And Rey looked to the side, could see its large shadow perching for attack. She continued on as if nothing were the matter, but sided up to Hux, who clearly hadn't noticed anything, though his hand perched on his blaster. If anything, he was far more annoyed that she hadn't stayed behind him, like she was trying to make conversation with him again.

Rey had a hand on her lightsaber, sensing the creature following them. She had to pretend she hadn't noticed it—Hux would understand.

"Get behind me," she ordered, making sure he could tell she was being quite serious, and not trying to just take the lead. "Something is watching us."

But of course, even if he did believe her, he wasn't complying. "And you still assume I'm incapable of defending myself," he uttered, his voice low, at least.

"Just do it," she hissed, tightening her fist around her weapon. She had to keep up those outwardly appearances, thinking the thing needed to think they were still unaware of its presence.

Hux opened his mouth to protest, but when he looked to the side, he shut up, noticing the large shadow watching them. With a few quiet steps, he allowed Rey to take the lead, his finger on the trigger of his blaster.

Who would make the first move? Could it tell that she and Hux knew it was watching them? Rey had no idea how this creature would operate, the pattern of its attacks. At least with First Order Stormtroopers and Kylo Ren, she knew what to expect. All she could surmise was that it was watching for the right moment to attack them, almost toying them. If they pretended to be unaware of its presence, they might be able to thwart it. She could feel her heart beating much louder, her hand shaking a bit. Hux, of course, when Rey looked back at him, continued to display little emotion. But again, something in his eyes told her he was a bit fearful.

A branch snapped under its foot, and their heads turned. Damn. It knew they saw it. Instinctively Rey stepped in front of Hux in a protective stance, her weapon out of the holster, her free arm held before him as if putting herself in the line of fire. There was a moment of silence as they paused, Rey meeting its eyes. It was the wrong move, she knew, to challenge it, but it wasn't as if she could take it back.

The creature lunged, and Rey activated her lightsaber, preparing herself.

It was a lot larger up close, the weight of such a creature emphasized with each running step. They both darted out of the way just before it attacked—Hux to the left, and Rey to the right. Panting, she noticed it go toward Hux first, though Rey had the more distracting weapon. How long had it been watching? How intelligent was it, though it could only growl, and roar? It certainly knew that Hux had the lesser advantage, as he wasn't attuned to the Force and he had a broken arm. Then that meant she had to play the distraction, and probably kill it.

But watching for a moment, Rey simply hadn't noticed until now, as Hux didn't exactly show off his range of agility around her. Then again, she didn't encourage him to do much, given his state. The creature was fast, its large paws striking at Hux, who didn't miss a beat and was quick to react, even one handed. He could quickly drop to the soil beneath him, and quickly dart back up. Again, even with his less dominant hand, he could still shoot rather well, hitting the thing quite often. His blaster barely seemed to hurt it, though—it seemed to only make the creature angrier.

Hux noticed this, of course, as he spent much more time darting about, dodging attacks, rather than attacking himself. Rey had no idea just what her own weapon would do, but given that a lightsaber could deflect a blaster, she suspected it would be more powerful. Maybe if Hux shot the creature point blank, it might be effective. But he would have to get close enough. _She_ had to get closer. So she ran toward the creature, trying not to think too hard about it, as Poe had said that's when she was at her most powerful. But in her mind she was thinking of how she was going to attack this creature, _if_ she knew how to deliver a powerful blow. And it then struck her, and she was too slow to evade the blow, its paw hitting her stomach.

Rey fell back against a tree trunk, grunting. Maybe she was slightly out of practice, given she had no one to spar with—and even Hux was a bit out of breath now, trying to figure out how he could move, given his broken arm, to not make it any worse. So she ran toward him, again trying to make that protective stance she had before. This was the time they should work together, in a life or death situation. Here, they _needed_ to be on the same wavelength. She activated her lightsaber again, waving it before the creature to play a sort of distraction so it would stop going after Hux. She wasn't thinking—and she hoped it would work.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, even as he reached over her shoulder to keep shooting at the creature.

"I'm trying to distract it from you!" she exclaimed, but the creature just wasn't going for her glowing blue weapon, no matter what kinds of fancy tricks she was waving before it.

"You're slower and it doesn't want you!" he pointed out, and Rey hated that he was right. It snarled at them, its paw swiping again. "What are you even thinking?"

"I'm not!" she admitted, this time rolling aside instead of getting hit. "I just thought we should work together. I'm just… acting on instinct!"

Acting on instinct had helped her defeat Kylo Ren, but it hadn't with Hux, she realized. _He_ had been the one to shoot her hand, and _he_ was the one who actually succeeded in capturing her, when she _hadn't_ been thinking. She actually had to do something different this time around, if she admitted she wanted them to work together. Hux said that the creature was only interested in him, and thus far he'd been right—it didn't care that Rey had the more intriguing weapon. It _knew_ that Hux wasn't as capable at the moment. So if it had him, it should be able to get Rey.

 _Maybe I_ should _think_ , she reasoned, again looking up toward the canopy above them.

Quickly his eyes also darted up to the branches above them, particularly the low hanging ones. He probably couldn't reach them one handed. But _she_ could. Given it didn't want her, she could use that to her advantage. She watched the creature's back, realizing that that was probably its weak spot, as its tail wasn't long enough to whip around. And Rey knew what Hux was thinking. She was going the wrong way about this. _He_ should be the quick distraction, and she would sneak around above. When he falsely let it close in on him, that's when she would leap from above and kill it with her weapon.

So she tried to hone in her powers, leaping up high. She grabbed onto a branch, slowly easing herself up onto it. She climbed around the trunk, leaping from tree to tree using her powers. While she knew what she was _going_ to do, in getting from point A to point B, she acted more on instinct, relying on her powers to leap farther and higher, without worrying about the fall to the soil below. And the creature barely seemed to notice, while Hux tried not to look up at Rey, to not give away her position. He instead sprinted, and shot at the thing, and kept riling it up. Rey struggled a bit to keep up with the action, but she kept a keen eye out, hoping it didn't hurt Hux. If only it went after her instead! And hopefully this worked.

Hux shot at the creature again, in quick succession, and it finally got angered enough to get up on its hind legs, ready to go in for the kill. He kept completely still, his eyes only briefly looking up at Rey, who only needed to leap onto the creature. This was insane! And he wanted her to do that? Leap on the creature's back and stab it there, in the heart or head? What if she missed?

And then again, what did either or them have to lose? Even Hux realized that, which was why he was taking such a crazy risk. So Rey leapt down, and she grabbed onto the creature's fur, hoping to hold on. They only had one shot to get this right, after all.

The creature roared, and tried to shake Rey off, but she got a grip on it, before it started to lunge toward Hux again. Once it had tackled him down, he grunted, but then exclaimed, " _Now_!" And he blasted the thing in the chest.

At that, Rey activated her lightsaber again, and with a shout, she thrust it into the creature's head, delivering the final blow. It faltered, then fell atop Hux as dead weight.

Quickly Rey hopped off from the creature, not wanting to add to the weight on top of him. "Hux?" she tried, pushing against the creature with her whole body. Damn it, it wouldn't budge! And he didn't answer. In a panic, she tried calling for him again, louder. " _Hux_?"

Still, nothing. Eyes wide, she tried pushing the dead creature harder, but it didn't want to move! What if it had crushed him? She had to try something!

Rey moved back and decided to call on her powers to help. In her haste and desperation, she was able to use the Force to push the creature off Hux, who lay limp beneath it. No, she refused to lose him to such a creature, and she refused to deal with this planet alone. She rushed to his side, falling to her knees. Her lightsaber dropped next to her knee. Rey pressed her ear to his chest, not hearing a heartbeat.

Damn it! What was the solution here? Rey thought back to her time on Jakku, and remembered when one scavenger had leaned down, breathing into another's orifice to get them to breathe again. She didn't have time to think about it—the more time she spent squirming, the less chance she had to bring him back. So she quickly tilted Hux's head up, holding his nose. She didn't take into account his still-warm lips as she pressed her own to them, breathing deeply. Nothing.

Then again.

"Breathe, come on…!" she said shakily, trying a third time for good measure.

Midway through the third breath, Hux surged up against her, and Rey pulled back, watching him cough and struggle for air. She moved her hand up to brace the back of his head as color returned to his pale cheeks, his chest rapidly rising and falling. Eyes wide (green, she finally realized, not blue as she'd thought before), he looked over at the dead creature, then at her. "Rey…?" he uttered when he finally found his voice, which was a bit hoarse. She let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.

On impulse, she pulled him into a fierce hug, her body still shaking. "Thank the maker!" she cried, her voice muffled against his chest.

He was also a bit shaky, his breath coming out quite shallow for now. Slowly she pulled away, offering him a shy smile. "We did it," she declared, starting to help him sit up so he could assess the creature. They'd killed a creature set on destroying them by working together pretty well. She noted how he hadn't pushed her away just yet, but that was probably due to him still being in a slight state of shock.

"Can you stand?" she then asked once she noticed Hux caught his breath a bit more. Luckily the creature hadn't messed his already broken arm up any more than it already was. He nodded, and she helped him up completely, still keeping her hand on his chest to help brace him.

Hux looked over at the creature, finally taking a step back. "That will begin to decompose soon," he pointed out, and Rey already knew where he was going with this observation. "We can have a feast tonight."

"A reward for the fruits of our labor?" Rey couldn't help but grin, picking up her lightsaber.

Shrugging, Hux didn't deny this was what was on his mind. "As long as it's cooked."

Rey's stomach rumbled at the thought, and she walked up to the fallen beast, activating her saber again to start cutting into its flesh.

* * *

The tension from before wasn't quite present, Rey noted as she finished off her big meal, completely sated from the meat of the creature they'd just killed. They barely said a word as they ate, but the air wasn't edgy or terrible, like before. Instead the two of them were satisfied, glad that at least for one night they could eat well. It made Rey long more for what she'd had at the Resistance Base, but this beat the fish she usually caught. After so long with only small, caught fish for her meals, this was a nice change of pace. Every once in a while, she even heard Hux give out a small hum.

The one thing they hadn't addressed was that Rey did have to perform mouth-to-mouth in order to save his life. But she shouldn't make a big deal about it—it wasn't a kiss, after all. She was only trying to get him to breathe again, even if, for a brief moment, she felt him move his lips back against her own, but that was probably out of necessity, as he didn't know what was happening. Besides, she was probably the only one thinking about it. As long as neither of them brought it up. So she tucked it away, trying to forget how close she'd actually gotten to him.

And then it occurred to her, why they'd been going back to the clearing in the first place. He was going to at least attempt to teach her how to try and block out other Force user, so she wasn't taken advantage of again.

"Hux?" she asked, her voice gentle and a bit exhausted from such an exciting day.

He hummed in reply, still finishing up his meal. "What is it?"

"Well… I was going to ask again how you're able to block out Kylo Ren's prying so well," she started. "But after facing that beast, if you're not up to it…"

"I can't exactly teach you," he said, shrugging. He ran a hand through his hair, as if thinking about how to explain the feeling.

"I know," she assured, leaning forward toward the fire. "I was just curious, as that was what we were going to do anyway, before we were attacked."

"It's all about keeping your mind completely active," he explained, ignoring her. "You need to always be on the prowl, as if at any moment someone will try to penetrate your mind. It's terribly difficult, if it's not second nature. But even one chink in the system, and it comes crumbling down. You must never give in, no matter how much easier it would be to do so. Eventually the enemy will give up."

Rey didn't mention that she'd actually found an opening, if she coaxed her way in rather than forced. But she nodded along, seeming to understand. She'd turned the tables on Kylo Ren eventually, but that was after he had pried into her mind so terribly. She never wanted to go through something like that again, so she would keep Hux's words in mind. "Isn't that exhausting?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied, looking into the fire and not at her. "Especially in the beginning. But like I said, it can become second nature, just as long as you don't get sloppy."

Too bad he couldn't practice it on her, where she could figure out if she was doing anything wrong. But Rey was glad for the words of advice, and she smiled a bit at how he was able to explain it without a complaint now. Maybe _this_ was the catalyst they needed to get a bit closer in how they were trying to survive here. "I'll keep that in mind," she said, smiling contently. "There's still so much I need to learn…"

Instead of replying to that, Hux stood. "I'm going to sleep," he declared, as he always did, walking around the fire. He was still avoiding eye contact with her, but at least the rift didn't seem as vast as before.

As he sat again, folding his coat into its makeshift pillow. Even though he didn't make eye contact with her, he said, "Thank you, by the way."

And Rey knew it was about her saving his life. Her smile only grew, glad that he could at least say that—she knew how much of a step forward this was. "You're welcome. Good night, Hux."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things are getting a bit more romantic. I wasn't too sure how to end this chapter-honestly for right now, my motto is write first, edit later. But if you have any suggestions for change, go ahead and suggest them! And don't be afraid to reach out to me here or on tumblr. I really do love talking about this ship and the fic and all my ideas with my readers and fellow shippers!


	11. I'm Standing Here Really Intrigued by You--Steal My Breath Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to God I might actually keel over while finishing this. Six more chapters, five more days! And 6000 words left to reach the minimum of this being the length of a novel.
> 
> You all are crazy for following this.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 11: "I'm Standing Here Really Intrigued by You—Steal My Breath Away"**

It wasn't a kiss.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself. Days passed and Rey still somehow found herself very often thinking back to Hux moving up against her, the brief press of his lips against hers before she pulled away so he could breathe properly. She shouldn't put such an emphasis on such an action…! He'd thanked her for saving his life—that was enough. That was more than what she'd expected out of him, anyway. And it wasn't a kiss!

Maybe _she_ was putting an emphasis on it, because, well… she hadn't experienced anything remotely romantic in her life. She'd heard stories, from gossip on Jakku, from Leia relating how she and Han had fallen in love, from what she imagined was happening between Finn and Poe. Romance had never been anything she personally _wanted_ , though—at least, that's what she figured. She was a plain little scavenger from Jakku. A wisp of a thing with a bit of wit and cleverness, but certainly no one special.

Even now, as a Jedi, she didn't feel much different. Perhaps a bit more in tune with her senses, and a bit wiser, but nevertheless still rather average. She didn't see herself fit for a big, sweeping romance, like the ones she'd heard about. They never particularly interested her, the physical aspect of it anyway. She wasn't so sure she wanted to kiss someone, hold them in an intimate way. And she hugged many: Finn, Chewie, Leia, Poe, now Hux. It just shouldn't mean anything other than, well, friendship.

"Do you sing at night?" Hux asked one morning, just after Rey had gotten up, starting to tie her hair up.

What a strange question. "Yes," she replied after a moment, confused. "What does that have to do with… anything? It's a coping mechanism." She only did it when she was sure Hux was asleep—on Jakku, it'd just been a way to not feel so lonely. She'd make up little songs, or repeat what she heard at Niima Outpost, if she liked the melody well enough. But it wasn't as if Rey were a trained musician, or even particularly good at it.

Again, Poe, who seemed to be talented at damn near everything, had a rather lovely voice, one that anyone at the Resistance Base could listen to for hours. Rey would chime in every once in a while, when it was just the two of them, or with Finn, but it was again, just a hobby, and just a way to keep herself entertained, and less lonely. It was never for a public spectacle.

Here, though, she only sang softly, and when she noticed the deep rise and fall of his chest, so she knew he couldn't hear her. Maybe she was starting to miscalculate when he'd fall asleep, or maybe she sang without even realizing what she was doing. Maybe she'd get so lost in her own head that it just… happened.

"Then… I hear it sometimes," he confessed lowly, kicking aside last night's firewood. "Just as I'm about to fall asleep. I was wondering what it was."

Damn, she _had_ been careless! He certainly didn't like it, then, if he was mentioning and complaining about it. "I apologize, it's just something I tend to do when I—"

"No, it isn't that," he assured, waving a hand. But he wasn't looking at her, almost as if he were… embarrassed. But shouldn't she be the bashful one?

Before she could ask what it was, though, he then answered after a brief pause. "I knew it was far too lovely a voice to be a memory, given that I hear it sometimes in a state where I'm not entirely asleep, nor awake."

Too lovely to be a memory? Too _lovely_ to be a _memory_? So he never heard songs? And he thought…? "My voice isn't lovely," she scoffed, finishing up her third bun. As she stood, she knew she should go and find where Hux hid her lightsaber this time, but she paused, wondering if he'd say anything else.

"You've really no idea, have you?" Hux observed, finally looking at her. "You don't even know you're doing it sometimes."

"No, I suppose not," she replied, getting her canister to fill it up. "But it's an odd thing to point out."

Unless… _no_ , he couldn't possibly _like_ it, could he? Rey shook her head and went to kneel before the river, filling up her canteen.

"I was curious and now I know the answer," he said curtly, trying to have the last word. Rey figured that probably wasn't the entire story, but… well, when would she ever get the entire story out of him, on any occasion? "So I thank you for clarifying."

Twice now he'd thanked her. Once before the fire for saving his life, and that had made sense. This did not. Was he growing soft? Or was Rey just imagining things once again? As soon as her canteen was filled she grabbed a Stormtrooper blaster and made her way out, trying not to think about such a trivial little thing.

* * *

"I'm sure this damned thing can come off now," Hux said, waving his arm in the splint after he finished off his fish. They'd feasted well on the beast the night they killed it, and now they were back to fishing. Every once in a while Hux would actually get over his hangups and give her a few instructions. When she looked back at him, though, he would always once again have his back toward her.

"Ten more days," Rey noted, knowing he was finding any excuse to get the splint off early, but she insisted they do things traditionally. If he wanted to get back to being more active, then they were going to do things her way, and she wasn't letting up on this. And he was just going to have to be a bit more patient. After that he would have to start getting the hang of things slowly—he couldn't join in on any of the action so quickly, much as she would have loved a sparring partner. Lately she'd been kicking a tree trunk, but having it so stationary wasn't keeping her in the shape in which she wanted to be.

"Must you be keeping track of the days?" he sighed, leaning back. "It's rather… annoying."

"I always kept track of how many days I spent on Jakku," she explained. "And that was for fifteen years. Thirty-three days is nothing compared to that, so I don't mind tallying them."

"Insanity. You'd think after fifteen years someone would have come looking for you still? No wonder you're so damned optimistic here." And there he went again with his annoyed tone.

Why did his jabs always seem to hurt so much? They were just words, after all. "You've never been _on_ Jakku, have you?" she asked. "At least, not for very long. Hope is all we have, and it's very easy to lose."

"No one _wants_ to be on Jakku," he pointed out. "Or Tatooine, or Arkanis, or _here_. So whoever put you there in the first place obviously had a terribly sick sense of humor, to leave you there for that long, and to have you wait around as if they were coming back. You could have left and used so much more of your potential as… I don't know, a pilot."

Rey threw her stick into the fire, watching it spark a moment. Of course she'd thought about it like that. That didn't mean she _liked_ being there. It felt like she needed to stay, out of necessity. Even if there were the _slightest_ chance whoever left her there might come back, she had to take it.

She pulled out the constellation map they'd been trying to make, deciding that before he went to sleep they should do something productive. Lately they'd been doing this together, rather than during their respective watches, and other than a bit of the arguing of what star might go where, or what they believed the stars looked like in clusters, Rey actually found this a bit… comforting, to know that they were trying to figure this conundrum out, even if they weren't getting so far. Because the sheet wasn't that large, they constantly brushed shoulders, reaching over each other. At first she'd constantly apologize every time it happened, but he'd always roll his eyes and assure her it was fine. At least then she _knew_ she was sounding a bit annoying.

When he tired out, Hux would nod at her and move to sleep, and the night would begin, with Rey spending more time meditating after she bathed. She wanted off this planet as much as Hux did, now that she noticed more of the cruelty on the planet. And she couldn't stand how used she was to the humidity, how it hardly affected her now.

But when she closed her eyes, trying to tune herself in to the Force, she would feel the expansion of herself start… but it failed, as if something inside her were blocking her potential.

The Force worked, she knew, when her feelings were in tune—when everything within her was in tune. And Rey knew what she wanted: she wanted to get in touch with Luke and Leia, she wanted to be reunited with her friends, and she wanted off this planet. So why weren't her powers working, then, if things were supposedly in tune? Something else must be clouding her mind.

Something she didn't exactly want to think about.

If this were easy, they would have been off the planet already, she knew that. So it was time to toughen up and deal with such terrible feelings, no matter how uncomfortable.

Opening her eyes, she clenched her jaw a moment as she gazed across the fire. Hux always started sleeping with his back to the campfire, but he eventually ended up on his back, and Rey always somehow found herself observing him yet again. She told herself that it was so she could notice when he was having a nightmare, so she could catch them earlier, and he wouldn't have to suffer through another one.

But of course lately Rey would see him, and instinctively her fingers would graze her lips. It wasn't a kiss because it wasn't how she imagined a kiss to be. A kiss meant Han and Leia bantering, and that leading to a tender moment. It was supposed to be something out of feeling, not necessity. She had breathed into his mouth, that was all.

Because… because…

Rey clenched her jaw again, her hands balling up into fists. This _really_ wasn't going to be simple.

Because she _wanted_ to kiss Hux, and not just by saving his life. All this time here, and of course this had led to an _attraction_ , because they were the only ones here, and they'd been spending too much time together. There were plenty of reasons as to why, under any other circumstance, this just didn't make any sense, but this was the way things _were_ , and not what she wanted them to be. If she could, she _wouldn't_ feel anything other than a bit of camaraderie with him. The reality, though, was that she wanted a bit of that big, sweeping romance, with the one person who certainly didn't like her, and saw her as an annoying child.

She _liked_ the General, orange hair and all.

He'd been a good teacher so far, and though he was brash and brutally honest, he was still incredibly smart, and she didn't think she'd last nearly as long surviving without his help. There was something about the confident way in which he held himself, and something about _him_ she couldn't seem to place, but… well, damn. She liked the way he held himself. She liked his intense green stare and his thick lips, and though he was rather thin, Hux still had this way about him to appear larger than he actually was. She thought about what a good shot he was, even with his less dominant hand. The two of them seemed to work well off each other. And Rey noted the warmth he exerted when their shoulders touched.

No wonder she was so affected by how he insulted her—because she liked him, it made the insults all the more worse, as they only cemented how stupid and girlish and unrequited such feelings were. He'd laugh in her face if he knew, even if she figured he didn't even know _how_ to laugh. He barely even knew how to smile.

This terrible realization, while it helped Rey in expanding herself a bit, wouldn't be very effective unless she pushed this even further.

In order to _really_ come to terms with this horrid attraction, and in order to put herself in check to make her mind unclouded, she was going to have to tell Hux what she _really_ thought about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you haven't heard Daisy sing, I highly suggest looking for some small videos! She's got a great voice, so of course I crossed that over into this fic. Will it show up again? Probably. Like I said, updates are going to be like, every day for these next few days because I am an amazing procrastinator.


	12. Just for this Moment, as Long as You're Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out I somehow end up being way more busy at home than at school. That, plus moving out, plus my 21st birthday, plus two trips to Disneyland, and plus way too many hot days with no AC making the computer an unbearable tool just kind of got the best of me. But I'm not giving up! I've come this far, and with only a few more chapters left to go. I'm all for helping rep that Reyux community.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 12: "Just for this Moment, As Long As You're Mine"**

"You stare as if you're scared of me," he observed, because ten days later, Rey still hadn't plucked up the courage to say _anything_ about how she was starting to feel about Hux. Mostly because he kept that same tone in his voice—that one that basically condescended to her, despite the fact that he'd opened up to her a bit since she'd saved his life. The walls were up again, but the tone now seemed almost… forced. Or maybe Rey was looking far too much into it, because ever since she realized she was attracted to Hux, of course she started to take into account _every single minute action_ he performed, as if that would give her some sort of clue as to when she should act and confess already. And then when she noticed opportunities she would shrink away into the shadows, the words never sounding right in her head.

When his tongue darted over his lips, did that mean he was thirsty or his lips were chapped, or did that mean something else entirely, as he always avoided eye contact with her when he did this? If he ran a hand through his hair, was it because he was trying to keep it in line or because it was just too damned hot here? And why did these actions seem so minute and insignificant before, but _attractive_ now? His terribly bright hair, his sharp cheekbones, his imposing stature… she never thought about such things, and now they permeated her mind with how she _liked_ it all, refusing to tuck themselves away because Rey _knew_ she had to tell him, in order to start feeling more secure in her progress toward getting them out of here.

It gave her a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, quite frankly. It wasn't something that made her feel sick, or terrible. The sensation was a bit… different. Ugly, confused, warm, uncomfortable. And then, when he spoke in that dignified voice that made him sound so condescending in the first place, the feeling settled.

Needless to say, if she had food during these moments, she'd stuff her face with it.

Now she was trying to find excuses to see if the feelings were real, and every time it was all confirmed: the attraction certainly was there. She continued to brush her shoulder against his when they worked out constellations together, this time more purposefully. And if they were doing levitation exercises, she always asked him to show her how to breathe again, like he had the first time.

He'd huff and mutter something about how she should know what to do by now, but Hux would always step just behind her, murmuring the instructions, his lips rather close to her ear. While his palm wasn't large, his fingers were long, and ever since he'd held her a bit too tightly the first time, he always touched her far too gingerly now, as if she might break.

"You should know it by now," he uttered, his fingers curling around her. Was his thumb brushing against her side intentional? A strange shock ran up her spine. "You've been able to lift terribly huge objects here, yet you're always asking to review this."

Rey held her breath—did he suspect? She breathed shallowly a moment, before breathing low, looking down to watch his hand move against her. He still hadn't said anything, even as she took long, deep breaths, his presence very, very prominent behind her. He probably knew, and he was just teasing her, because she was so young, and she had no idea what she was doing.

"It's a strange, new way of breathing," she tried, even though it was a pathetic excuse. "I'm just… trying to make sure I'm doing it correctly."

"It isn't like you have to breathe that way in all your activities, you silly little thing." Lately he'd been calling her that, and while Rey knew the tone was teasing, his expression was always straight, making her wonder if he even took the term seriously. He saw her as small, young? It gave her less reason to confess, then, if he was giving indication that this was what he thought of her. Hence, part of the reason why she kept waiting for the "right moment."

To contradict the name, she slowly lifted the tree trunk she'd been practicing with, as if to at least attempt to show off—another thing she'd been doing far too often in front of him, she realized. Sometimes she just… acted. Sometimes she'd flourish her lightsaber, waving it around in plenty of fancy ways while she practiced, or showed off her sparring skills with a bit more gusto. And Hux, with his keen eye, certainly noticed, and often pointed out her behavior.

"Trying to exert yourself now?"

"No!" she assured, though even she wasn't sure just what _exactly_ she was doing. Rey _knew_ she was only making herself look like a fool in front of Hux, yet her body would just _act_ before she could think about it.

"Then save your strength for the fish, or for your first watch, not for some trivial exercise you've done a good number of times." Hux dropped his hand back to his side and stepped away from Rey, who lowered both her hand and the trunk.

If she didn't want to be seen as a "silly little thing" in Hux's eyes, she supposed she shouldn't act like one. Rey sighed, and turned back to face him. "Let's go back to the clearing and look at your arm," she decided, balling her hands up into fists to keep herself from running her hands over her face to hide her growing embarrassment.

Maybe it was a reason to touch him and possibly only making her damned feelings for him worse, but here they were killing two birds with one stone: they were getting his splint off and she'd see if maybe _this_ was the "right moment" to confess.

"Yes, fine." With that he began to make his way back, just expecting her to follow. And Rey did, wishing that she couldn't hear her heart beating in her ears.

The thoughts at night were getting far worse, too. When she couldn't keep herself busy, and whenever she tried to meditate, sometimes she would wonder what it would feel like to push his hair back, or what it'd feel like to hug him again. That damned feeling in the pit of her stomach surfaced, and she tried to shake the feeling off, placing a hand there. She kept replaying the kiss that certainly wasn't a kiss, glad that for now his back was to her, so she wouldn't stare at his lips, which she was doing far too often. And she kept wondering what it'd really feel like, if it happened. It was like some lost romantic feelings she never experienced suddenly hit her tenfold, making her want things she never considered wanting, from _Hux_ , of all people.

At the clearing, Hux sat eagerly, quite ready to just rip the splint off and start working with that hand again. Knowing this, Rey took her time, teasing as she sat beside him, slowly scooting a bit closer. It wasn't like when she put the splint on, scared and hesitant to even touch him for fear he'd attacked her. The hesitation was still there, of course, but it was due to those stupid feelings in the back of her mind. Was she being too stupidly obvious, and Hux was just toying with her? It didn't seem like it, with his usual straight face. She liked to think she could read him a bit better since crashing here.

Rey reached over to his neck and untied the splint, looking down instead of at him. She was well aware of how she could almost feel his breath on her neck, how this was quite close to being another hug. But it only lasted a moment as Rey quickly took the knot out, pulling back. She wasn't planning on wearing her arm wraps anytime soon, as she was more used to the weather now—and for some reason, it just didn't feel right, after Hux had used them for so long. For now, she just placed the first wrap at her side.

Hux shrugged out of his uniform jacket, then flexed and clenched his right fist, looking down. "Feels fine," he murmured, though they'd only taken off the splint. Rey didn't doubt Hux probably examined it, wanting it completely gone already. And no, Rey never worked in a proper MedBay, but she learned her own tricks for medical work on Jakku, and everyone on the Resistance Base was completely friendly and willing to help her out.

"Your… shirt." Rey pointed to Hux's undershirt, and he sighed, starting to take it off. Rey wanted to offer to help, but not only would Hux not let that happen, she might also let her damned feelings get in the way. This was all making her act so strange, and she really didn't know what to do to address such a problem!

Given he liked his privacy, Rey looked up at the green canopy above them, light still streaming through. During the day, when she was either alone or Hux was being his usual, silent self, she always found her eyes wandering to the new environment, so different from Jakku. Humidity to dryness. Green to brown. Plentiful to barren. Yet she tried to find some beauty here. She liked the beams of light that came through the thick canopy, the strange color of some of the plants. Once she found a plant on Jakku, and she tried her damnedest to make sure it stayed alive—that small shred of hope was all she had, and she would have it in spirit here, as well. Sometimes she would just look at that plant and think, _One day they'll come back for me_.

Luke tried to teach that the eyes could be deceiving, though, and Rey was starting to see the ways in which this could be true. That shred of hope she saw sometimes shielded a bit of the harshness of her reality. And as Hux peeled his undershirt off, setting it aside, she once again noticed just how thin and pale he was. Was it out of pity that she found an attraction, she wondered, since she could see those scars again? But she quickly gazed up to his face and sadly realized that no, it wasn't her eyes deceiving her. It wasn't her mind seeing him as a rational mate. It was something else entirely, from within, that made her heart beat a bit faster when she now saw him.

Gently Rey reached over and unwrapped his arm, noticing that the splint did indeed work out, and as her fingers skimmed over his arm, she could feel that his arm had healed. She could see it looked rather normal again, as well, and her heightened senses could somehow… _tell_ that he was fine. "Your arm may be well again, but I wouldn't exert myself just yet," she warned, looking up at him. Her hands still hadn't stopped touching him, yet her eyes were on his face now, and not his arm.

The look in his eyes suggested he knew she would try her best to make damn sure he did just that. "Your hands are still on me," he observed after a few moments. But he wasn't telling her to take her hands off just yet.

"I… know," she replied, her mind screaming that _this_ was the moment. This is where she told him, where he was in a decent mood after knowing his arm had healed well.

So what was she waiting for? Why was her mouth just working in sync with her mind?

Instead Rey finally let go of Hux and handed him his undershirt. "You probably want this back."

Nodding, he silently put his shirt on, still wary of his newly freed arm, after weeks of having it wrapped up and confined. His uniform jacket followed, and he seemed to sit up a bit straighter now, knowing he could button it all the way up, like he was more of his old self again. This made Rey shrink back, though, as she had probably let that moment slip through her fingers.

She sealed her defeat when she suddenly said, "I'll gather the firewood tonight. The sun is already going down."

 _More time_ , she thought stupidly, getting up as Hux relaxed slightly in his seat. _That's definitely what I need here_. Much as she knew that was a complete lie, Rey was somehow able to convince herself that she was making the right decision, buying herself a few more hours.

* * *

Rey not only stupidly gathered firewood in Hux's place, but as she returned she remembered _she_ was the one who usually caught dinner, as well. Where was her mind today? And why hadn't Hux stopped her? Was he taking some sort of sick pleasure from watching her squirm like this? Luckily before it got _too_ dark, as Hux arranged the sticks the way he liked, Rey, who was getting better and better at fishing with her bare hands, caught two decent sized ones to eat for the night. Honestly she was amazed she hadn't let those slip away with how terribly loud her heart pounded in her ears when she was around him, thinking about what she was going to say.

They cooked and ate their fish in usual silence, Rey this time looking over at Hux, while he gazed up more at the vast, unfamiliar sky. She watched the slight purse of his lips in between bites, and how there was something she found rather attractive in how much acute attention he paid to the sky, of all things. It had to do with the focus in his green eyes, his frown seeming far more warranted when he was trying to see something familiar in these stars.

"You're staring again," he noticed, and Rey quickly turned her head toward the fire, hoping the glow on her skin hid the blush quickly spreading over her face.

After a moment, he spoke again, tossing his finished stick in the fire. "Now that I think about it, you've been acting rather… strange lately."

Which meant _this_ was the moment, as he now caught her and she had to explain herself. If she just got this information out there in the open, she would be more in tune with herself, and with her powers. She _knew_ the ultimate pros outweighed the cons.

Then why was it so difficult to just tell him?

With a deep breath, she scooted closer to Hux, watching him raise a confused brow as he leaned away a bit. Rey kept her hands in her lap, holding them down, as if she was scared of them darting out to touch him again. "I… do have something to tell you," she finally said, keeping her voice rather low. From this distance, she was sure he could hear her heart pounding, because right now, it was practically all she heard.

"Don't beat around the bush. Just say it," he replied impatiently when Rey started to hesitate, as if she was choking on the words.

"I'm attracted to you," she blurted, and immediately bit her lip after. Damn. That wasn't meant to come out like that. No wonder it sounded so terrible in her head—it sounded even worse aloud!

Instead of laughing, like she expected him to, he blinked rapidly, trying to process it. "You… wait, _what_?"

Oh no, did she have to repeat it? By the looks of his completely confused face, Rey realized she did. Would it sound any better by saying it again? She clenched her hands together tighter. "I… now find myself attracted to you," she repeated slowly, forcing herself to look at him instead of looking down.

Even worse than a laugh—he scoffed. She knew it! He was just going to make fun of her and her stupid, childish feelings. "There must be something in the water you're drinking, because the last thing I am is _attractive_ ," he said instead, running a hand through his hair.

True, he wasn't attractive in the way some would define the term, but part of Rey just couldn't explain it. She just… _liked_ him. "Maybe it's because we've been stuck here with just each other for company for so long, but I cannot deny what I'm feeling now. Sometimes I'll catch myself looking…"

"'Staring' is the term I'm more prone to use."

" _Still_." Rey sighed, her hands relaxing just a bit. There really _was_ something to be said about how good a confession could feel, despite Hux's response. "Please don't invalidate my emotions. I will catch myself looking, and… I'll think about your eyes, or your lips—"

"Stop, _stop_ ," he interrupted again, and Rey took in his rigid posture and reddened cheeks. Why was he reacting like _this_ , she wondered. Unless… No, she refused to believe this could be _reciprocated_. "I can't hear this, not from you."

"Why not?" She frowned, wishing she could get a word in edgewise. He kept undermining her, as per usual. " _I like you_ , and it's been damn hard coming to terms with that and trying to figure out the right moment to say it, because I know how strange this all is. And here you are, not letting me say much."

"Because this complicates _everything_. This goes against _everything_ we stand for," he pointed out, and now it was Rey's turn to stiffen up. She had a feeling where this was going. Her heart pounded louder, faster.

"I know. But it needed to be said." Rey nodded firmly, determined to get it all out in the open. She had to push his response, though. "Even if these feelings probably aren't reciprocated—why would they be? I know I'll always be plain…"

This she actually believed, though. On Jakku she was always a girl everyone usually looked over, practically ignored unless she demanded to be heard. Her looks were never anything special, which was why figuring out she was Force sensitive came as such a surprise. They said she was "no one" so often that she definitely was prone to think that was all she'd amount to. She was no beauty.

But this statement made Hux _chuckle_. The corners of his mouth twitched up, and he brought a hand to cover it, his shoulders shaking a bit. Rey tensed up again; this was the _last_ thing she expected from him. When this died down after a few moments, Hux cleared his throat before replying, "You _actually_ believe that, don't you?" He didn't wait for her to answer. "You honestly can't see that you are, objectively, one of the prettiest creatures this side of the galaxy."

"'Objectively'?" Rey repeated, not sure what she should do with this information. They liked each other. And she and Hux would still be here on this planet for an undisclosed amount of time. What was going to happen? What did _she_ want to happen, now that she knew he liked her as well? Obviously he looked like he wanted to keep things as they were, but this new element of awkwardness just changed everything.

"Your view of yourself is so pathetic it's almost cute." There was still a hint of a smile behind his voice. Rey wasn't sure if this was a compliment, but she knew she had to take it with a grain of salt. He'd called her cute, hadn't he?

They spent a few moments awkwardly staring, awkwardly wondering what to do or say. But the more she thought about it, the more Rey realized: why _shouldn't_ they spend the remainder of their time focusing on whatever this relationship was? Obviously they would not have such time or opportunity to themselves, not like this, where they were completely secluded, and where this would only stay between the two of them. It'd be an experiment, a secret. A chance to explore what "romance" might mean to her. Here, affiliation did not matter. Here, they could just be. And she wanted to see if Hux wanted that freedom from such boundaries.

"You want to kiss me," he observed, and Rey looked down, her cheeks heating up again. "You keep staring at my lips, so it's all I can surmise."

She moved a bit closer, hesitantly letting their legs touch. This time he didn't move away from her. "Rey…" he murmured, his hands balling up into fists in his lap. She couldn't believe this might _actually_ happen. Yes, it might have been naïve and stupid, but what Rey saw it as was part of how they got out of here. By exploring this, she'd be discovering crazy, terrifying things about herself, she knew, but that had always been part of the journey. She definitely knew that, in any other scenario, the man she'd have her eye on certainly wouldn't be Hux. But this was her reality. She had to come to terms with it. And with that, she inclined her face toward his.

He turned his head. "We can't do this."

Hurt by that, her eyes widened. But Rey wasn't going to leave it at this. "Why not?" she asked again. "I know you're so tied to your affiliation, and you're older, but I'm trying to disassociate myself from it, at least when it just comes to whatever our relationship is. This isn't something for Kylo Ren to see, or for the Resistance. This is… whatever we make of it. I know that it's just for the now, and certainly not for the future. And I know it complicates whatever happens after—but I've come to terms with that. We can keep the slight camaraderie we have here, but I _know_ , without having to read your mind, that you're always going to question the scenario in which you said 'yes.'"

And Rey knew she had him there, because Hux did consider her words. She knew he was frightened—mostly because she sported a similar expression. This _was_ scary, bringing together their two sides like this, only to be torn apart again. There was that inevitable factor of time. Yet it was also a bit of the perfect escape; she knew he saw that, as well.

"You're damn good at rhetoric," he conceded, turning his head toward her again. "And I should know."

What did that mean? Did he always have to dodge the main issue like this, when he felt uncomfortable? "Is that a 'yes'?" she finally asked, a bit hesitant. She didn't want to push this, but it she was kind of eager for an answer.

Briefly his tongue darted out over his lips, again contemplating. He seemed to challenge himself by looking right at her, their eyes meeting again. Rey could hear her heart beat quickly again. "This is still wrong."

"I know," Rey agreed, if only to ease his confusion a bit. "But I'd rather run this risk now, and know what it all felt like than just imagine." Boldly she moved a hand up to his cheek, turning him toward her. Maybe it would just be one kiss, and they'd deem that it just wasn't right. But she was giving in to her curiosity.

She watched Hux take a few deep breaths, looking to the hand she kept on his cheek before back at her, knowing that internally, he was debating the ethics of all this. "Don't be afraid; I feel it, too," Rey assured gently. And yes, she was very well aware that she was quoting Kylo Ren back at Hux. But here she wasn't trying to be creepy, or patronizing.

That actually seemed to soothe him a bit. And this time, when Rey leaned in, he didn't pull away.

Part of Rey actually did want this to not work, for something in the kiss to tell her that it just didn't feel right so that things wouldn't be so complicated. But when they met, his lips were a bit hesitant, like hers, but also soft and firm. It was more… wet than she imagined. But not at all unpleasant. In fact, when he pulled away, she realized she wanted another. Now _that_ was what she imagined a first kiss to feel like.

"I'm far too old for you," Hux said, but Rey could tell he was just grasping at straws now. The expression in his half-lidded eyes suggested he'd certainly enjoyed the kiss as she had.

Rey wished he weren't so defiant. Yes, she was well aware of the age difference, but given he certainly looked younger than his age, and that it genuinely didn't really bother her, she didn't think about it very often, until he brought it up. "And I'm old enough to make my own decisions," she countered. Certainly he couldn't argue with that.

Luckily, he didn't. Hux scowled a moment, but huffed and pressed their foreheads together. "You little minx," he teased. Rey had to admit, she kind of liked the little name here, and couldn't help but smile as she pulled him in for that second kiss. It lasted longer, though in their inexperience it was much sloppier, and much less hesitant.

And, to Rey, it was practically perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I get the next chapter up sooner! I probably won't go as crazy going to Disneyland two full days, and the weather isn't going to be this unbearable in the coming days. We'll see! In the meantime, I thank you all for your patience, and your lovely comments and encouragement. As always, never hesitate to message me on tumblr (thederpyhipster), especially since, for some reason, though I've had the account for six years, my tags aren't showing up, and I post a lot (and I mean a LOT) for this ship.


	13. Baby, Take Me to the Feeling; I'll Be Your Sinner in Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, I did get this one out faster than the last chapter, and I tried something different by finally doing a chapter from both perspectives. Funnily enough, writing for Hux was actually a bit easier here than for Rey. Also, I might make an 8tracks based off the fic, would anyone be interested in that? Then again, it's all trash, I'm sure.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 13: "Baby, Take Me to the Feeling; I'll Be Your Sinner in Secret"**

The name "little minx" quickly stuck, particularly whenever Rey decided to do anything remotely romantic. Whether it was brief hand holding or kissing, he seemed to give her the name if only to chastise her, or state that she might be manipulating him just a bit. What was worse: Rey _liked_ it. It made her seem a bit devious, gave them something private between the two of them that no one else could see. Others, in the future, might figure out this brief romp, but a name like this was theirs, and theirs alone to share.

It was difficult to hold hands with such humid weather without it quickly getting sweaty. Sometimes Rey would reach over and instinctively touch him, but he'd pull away, still hesitant. Days had always been more difficult, like something about the light pushed him away. Or maybe it was just the heat.

Nights were easier. Nights hid actions in the shadows, and nights obscured certain senses. Nights provided an intimate glow, and given they couldn't exactly leave each other, that's when Rey always, _always_ made the first move. She sensed Hux was still far too hesitant to try anything, yet he started to be more receptive when she would impulsively press against his side, and he'd start to lean against her as well. When she placed her hand in his he'd hold it, albeit a bit limply.

The feeling in the pit of her stomach hadn't ceased; rather, it had _changed_. Instead of feeling terrible and uncomfortable, now it was like something flitted about, then lifted her spirits when she initiated contact, or something romantic. While she hadn't stopped acting, well, foolish, it was a type of foolishness that came from this new territory. After all, neither of them had ever experienced something so… well, Rey could only describe it as almost euphoric, as whenever they kissed she seemed to forget that they were on this humid, remote planet, that she was a Jedi-in-training, that he was a First Order General. That connection honestly made that all melt away, and suddenly she wasn't the nobody scavenger anymore, or the powerful Jedi leading the Resistance. She was _just Rey_ when she kissed Hux, or held his hand, or hugged him. Honestly, she could get used to this crazy, new feeling. This crazy, _normal_ feeling.

Given that they now had confessed their mutual feelings for each other, now when Rey felt herself staring at Hux, she allowed herself to just… grow more attracted to him. His bright hair wasn't so strange now; it was unique. His skin, she knew, somehow always felt soft when her hands grazed his cheek. His green eyes were always so focused, knowing just what they wanted. His lips, by far her favorite feature of his, were quite plump, making their kisses that much better. Some beings or things always looked more mundane the more you looked at them, but to Rey, Hux somehow seemed to only look _better_. It might have something, again, to do with the length of time they were here alone together. Her ideal wasn't someone mysterious and handsome, like young Han Solo or Poe, but now… _Hux_. And she was fine with that.

Instead of making marks based on the stars they saw, Rey would instead take Hux's less dominant hand in both of hers and lean her head on his shoulder, occasionally looking up at the sky. Mostly she'd gaze at his concentrated face (and yes, now she was prone to "gazing" rather than "staring"), as if trying to milk whatever time they had left here. Overcompensating for the little she could get.

"This isn't very helpful or productive," he pointed out, but Hux never once tried to pull his hand from hers. Slowly his long fingers curled around her knuckles, and despite the bit of sweat, they just… remained. Content, that's probably one of the only ways she could describe these nights. These peaceful, pretty nights that made the sky familiar and the environment more bearable. It made her _tolerate_ the planet just a bit more, knowing it was their private escape.

"I know, but I'm not trying to be," said Rey with a slight shrug. She knew that as far as what they were doing, it wasn't much, but when her body screamed for more, she just somehow _knew_ it'd be too much, for the both of them. At least right now.

They remained like that for a bit, Hux silently etching in stars, and Rey holding his hands and commenting every once in a while. "You know… that one over there, toward that corner, looks kind of like an A-Wing." She looked up at the sky, searching for it. Seemed like they drew it accurately enough—that's _definitely_ what it looked like.

Hux gave a small hum of acknowledgement, but moved his eyes up, curious to know what she saw. "What do you know…" he uttered. "It kind of does."

With that, he set their crude map aside and stretched his free arm over his head, yawning. "Yes, well… time to sleep."

When he tried to stand, though, Rey kept up her grip on his hand, shooting him a slight smirk. She said nothing and just tilted her head to the side—she knew he'd be able to figure it out. Of course, within moments of being unable to pull back, his eyes slit.

"You really are a little minx," Hux teased, but this was the only way Rey could get _him_ to kiss _her_ , as usually it was the other way around. She understood—he was probably too shy, too hesitant, and not as willing to take that jump as she was. He thought about it all more than she did. Rey would try to live in the present here, difficult as it was, when she then spent some of her nights meditating, trying to look beyond herself. Yet right here, when Hux kissed her to the point where everything melted away, _this_ was where she really wanted to be. It was all so simple, despite the complexities that brought them together.

"Good night, Hux," she murmured when he pulled away, and finally let go of his hand, not caring that hers were getting clammy. Rey just watched as he laid down, still making sure his back was to the fire. He never wished her a good night, but… well, he did kiss her. That was more than enough for now.

And now, before she knew Hux was asleep, she _intentionally_ sang for him, now that she knew Hux liked her voice. It gave her a bit of confidence, though she didn't think it was particularly lovely. But she somehow _knew_ this was helping lull him to sleep, and so she just… sang whatever melody came to mind, even if it was a bit repetitive.

She bathed quickly, still too wary to go any deeper than her waist, given she still couldn't swim. Maybe now that she and Hux were more romantically involved and his arm was better, he could teach her? But she was sure his stiff ways wouldn't allow it—he didn't want to see her body after that first time, she was sure. She still didn't see what the big deal was, though. She certainly couldn't rush it, much as she kind of wanted to with the limited time they had here.

Then again, another good thing from this romance was that it somehow… _improved_ her powers. She hadn't felt so sure of herself, well, _ever_ , and now she felt a sense of this planet, a bit of a sense of where they were placed and… No wonder it was so close to empty. She must have been the only Force user for quite a distance. And no wonder she hadn't been able to reach Luke or Leia just yet. That emptiness was all she could feel, but at least she had a sense of how _vast_ the space was.

When she opened her eyes, Hux was pointing his baster right at her face, his expression uncharacteristically frantic.

* * *

 _Move._ His hand wasn't cooperating. He couldn't open his eyes at all. His breathing remained deep and calm, but only resulted in Hux feeling like there was a great weight on his chest, enclosing in on him, limiting him.

Whenever he tried will movement, tingles ran through his body, from the tip of his nose down to his feet like a wave, but when he tried to lift a hand, nothing was responding despite his efforts.

Hux willed his hand to move, for his eyes to open, for _something_ to get him up. His body was helpless and his conscious mind could only focus on the panic, on how he couldn't move a single muscle no matter how hard he tried. All he could think of, in his groggy state, was that somehow, someway, Kylo Ren was still playing pranks on him, still holding him down. That had to be the explanation, yes. He _abhorred_ this feeling, hoped that someday Ren would get a taste of his own medicine and just _know_ what true helplessness felt like. His mind screamed and demanded movement, craved freedom from his body, but each passing moment passed like hours, wanting to shout, wanting to see. _Move, damn you!_ he would have screamed.

Finally, _finally_ he started to feel his fingers struggle to move, his arm starting to lift. It felt heavy, like a weight continued to hold him down. No, he just had to fight it again. Keep fighting until he woke, and then _demand_ who had thought this was a funny idea. His arm shook heavily as it fought, and quite slowly everything started to function again. He was almost there, almost ready to shoot up.

His eyes finally opened, but only slightly. He took in a flurry of unfamiliar constellations, a thick, green canopy. This wasn't his room. This was that stupid, unfamiliar planet, where he was stranded. Hux could not blame Kylo Ren, as he usually did, for holding him down. He'd pull his blaster and scan across the room when he could move, expecting to see Ren looking down at him, a very sure smirk behind his helmet. He never did see Ren. And he never told anyone about this… affliction. A terrible, terrible affliction where his mind would wake before his body and it felt all too similar to Ren holding him down.

When he finally could move freely, he picked up his blaster out of habit and sat up, pointing it right at Rey. Yes… it could be her, despite the bit of romance. Maybe it was a trick, a sort of manipulation. Get him to trust her, and he was subject to her whims. She proved more powerful than Ren, after all.

" _What the hell!_ " she cried, placing a hand over her chest. "Hux, what are you _doing_?"

Hux looked at her frightened face, then at his blaster, still shaking a bit in his hand. But he had to press this, had to find out the truth. "Did you do it?" he demanded.

"Do _what_? You're not making any sense! _Why_ are you pointing your blaster at me?" And now _she_ was the hysterical one.

"Were you holding me down while I was sleeping?"

" _No_ , I swear!" she exclaimed. "Do you _really_ think someone who's been under that influence would be so cruel? I would _never_ do that to you!"

No… she wouldn't. It was as it always was—it was something in his body, that damned affliction affecting him again. And he _always_ looked for someone else to blame when it came to this, rather than deal with it himself. And like the nightmares, it was something private, come to light in front of _Rey_ , of all people. His deepest, most vulnerable self, exposed to her. She probably saw him as weak.

"Fuck," he cursed, turning the safety of his blaster back on and tossed it aside. Hux ran a hand through his hair and wondered if he should just stay up anyway. It must be around the time his watch began, anyway.

Before he knew it, Rey was already at his side, sitting beside him. "Why did you wake like that?" she asked, easing his head down back onto her lap. In this state, he was far too weak to really protest. "It wasn't another nightmare, was it?"

"Nightmares are far better than this," he uttered, wishing he could push her back, tell her he was fine, but his body was still trying to wake up, it seemed. "You can escape from a nightmare."

"Then what happened?" she pressed, her hand raking through his hair. He couldn't protest when that gesture was so… soothing, and he was still so tired…

The filter, when groggy and convoluted, was completely gone, it seemed. "You've… had Ren hold you down before."

"I have, yes," she clarified lowly, her hand moving slower. "You can't move, no matter how hard you try. Your mind is _screaming_ to fight back, and you can't. It's like a thick weight has taken hold of you. I've been frightened before, but not like that."

"Imagine waking up like that," he said, just as low. "The same helpless feeling, where your mind is screaming and racing, but your body won't cooperate. You can't escape it. Only it's not Ren, it's not another Force user, it's just your body betraying you because it's waking up after your _mind_ already has."

"You… wake up like that sometimes?" Hux could tell she was struggling to imagine what that must feel like. Was it just him, or was her face getting closer to his? "How dreadful. Especially when you live with someone who _would_ …" She trailed off, looking out toward the river a moment.

"I can start my watch," he decided, starting to sit up again. She didn't have to treat him like such a child. Though he hated to admit it, the hand in his hair made him think that she'd perhaps lull him into a peaceful sleep. Her voice, when it sang a low melody, could calm him down far too quickly. Hux didn't know if he should consider himself fortunate for having her in such a way, or incredibly unlucky, because she was _the_ enemy.

"No, no…" she murmured, finally leaning down to close the gap, kissing his forehead with a gentle touch he knew he didn't deserve. "It's not time, and I'd like to meditate some more, if you don't mind."

He supposed he didn't. Hux let out an involuntary sigh and let his eyelids droop a bit, following the rhythm of her fingers combing through his stupidly bright hair. He would never understand whatever she saw in him, and only figured it was because they'd been around each other for too long. Rey, on the other hand, had always been pretty, but Hux had no problem resisting _until_ she'd made her terrible confession. At that point, she'd grabbed him completely, made him realize that he _did_ want this, no matter how hard he tried to repress it. How he _hated_ admitting it.

The fact that she'd gotten him to make such a confession, how she'd started this terrible romance, _that_ was what made her a sneaky little minx. And then she _liked_ the name.

But Hux realized that the First Order assumed him dead. He honestly might not have a future—and there was a small part of him that decided to run with this stupid, terrible idea. He hated liking the first kiss (and every kiss afterward), hated liking holding her hand, hated liking her act affectionate toward him. He wasn't some incompetent child anymore. He was a man far older than the girl with which he was involved, yet they were both on the same, clueless page, figuring out this doomed romance together. It was far too late to go back now.

"Go back to sleep," Rey urged gently, her last word launching a new melody. It was even easier for him to fall back asleep with his head in her lap, her fingers still in his hair. His eyes closed completely at that, and all he could hope for was something peaceful, that he didn't wake from a nightmare and that he didn't feel like he was being held against his will when his mind woke before his body. Her sweet voice was what he focused on, what brought him to sleep quickly.

When he woke up, at around the time he was supposed to actually start his watch, he'd had no nightmare, nor a bout of paralysis. He was surprised to find his head was still in her lap, and when he opened his eyes again, she gave him an annoyingly sweet smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a new HC for Hux, but I decided, why not? Sleep paralysis is a very real thing, and yes, it can be very scary, as someone who personally suffers from bouts every once in a while. It also gave me a good reason for Rey to be a bit more affectionate, because I'm trash for fluff, and yes, it is difficult to put it in while still being in character for this ship. Luckily there's more of that on the way.
> 
> Also, because tumblr still refuses to show my tags, you can always get in touch with all my other Reyux content from thederpyhipster.


	14. Tear the Walls Down, Don't Be Stupid, Lead Me Halfway to Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These updates seriously need to happen faster! Hopefully I'll find the time, I want to completely finish this fic by the end of the month so I can move on to some other fun projects I have in mind. But hopefully what happens here make up for the absence.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 14: "Tear the Walls Down, Don't Be Stupid, Lead Me Halfway to Your Heart"**

Rey knew she was starting to really annoy Hux with how she would always ease him from sleep with her fingers in his hair, a kiss to his forehead. If she was feeling bold, she'd wake him with a proper kiss, and he'd pout and frown at first, but she'd eventually get him to kiss back. After the scare with Hux waking in such a terrible way, she couldn't help but try and make sure that didn't happen again. Hence the questions, and hence his annoyance.

"Is this how you're always going to wake me up?" he'd huff when they parted for air.

"You know you like it," she teased, scrunching her nose. The more she got comfortable around Hux, she realized, the more she treated him like one of… her friends.

A friend that she kissed quite romantically, but _still_. The more she forgot that affiliation, the more she could feel herself growing closer to him, the line that had once so severely separated them now blurred. Yes, that was dangerous for the aftermath of all this—but that attraction just kept _growing_ , right out of her control. She acted in ways she knew weren't professional, that reflected her age more than she liked to admit, but she hadn't _wanted_ like this since she longed for a family back on Jakku.

It was scary, yes, but it was the type of fear that _kept_ her going through with all of this—the adrenaline completely excited her, as well. It must have been the same for him. Somehow, Rey could feel that, despite him not being Force-sensitive.

"Did you sleep all right?" she asked gently, trying to suppress a yawn.

"Yes, yes, as always." Hux waved a dismissive hand and tried to sit up. It took a little time, though, given Rey actually _really_ liked running her hands through his hair. The strange thing was, his hair was seriously soft, and it soothed her as much as it seemed to soothe him. "I don't understand why you feel the need to wake me like this every morning. It isn't as if you're going to be around to do this all the time and make sure that I'm not waking up… paralyzed."

She noticed he took into account the weight of what he just said, and they were both silent for a few moments. He couldn't look her in the eye, and Rey's hands paused on his scalp. She tried not to think about that, honestly. It was hard enough to live in the present without thinking about the past—and thinking about the future certainly didn't seem pleasant.

"I know," she answered slowly, looking off toward the river. "It's just… for now. And I don't think there's anything wrong with trying not to think about what's to come. Don't you like this?"

"I do." Hux nodded, and he sat up completely now. "But Rey… be realistic. This isn't for forever. This isn't even for that much longer."

Rey frowned. Did he really have to put a downer on this? "That's what makes the small moments like this really count," she said lowly, stroking her fingers through his hair again. This was all they were going to have, and she would be damned if they weren't making the most of it. Still, she couldn't bring herself to go any further than whatever they'd been doing so far. But the more time she spent around Hux, the more confidence she felt.

She shifted to lie down, her leg pressed up against his. Sometimes she wondered what it'd be like to sleep next to him, but there always needed to be someone on watch, just in case. The closest she'd gotten to that was his head in her lap, her fingers in his hair, which, after a while, turned quite hypnotizing and peaceful. Usually she kissed him again before she fell asleep, but she instead reached down and took his hand, holding it lightly. Her cheek pressed against his hip when she turned to her side, closing her eyes. Hux didn't pull away, though he tensed, which Rey felt for a moment. He eventually relaxed, and Rey fell asleep like that, a content smile on her face.

* * *

He wasn't holding her hand when she woke, as Rey expected. What she didn't expect was to wake up early to find Hux still bathing in the river, his back to her. It was first light, so Rey could make out his pale form. She _could_ get up and inform him she was up early, but given how terribly self-conscious he was about bodies in general, she stayed silent, and just _watched_ , to see how he acted alone.

It wasn't much different—he was still completely collected and silent, from what she observed through half-lidded eyes. But the sight that made her look twice was his mussed, damp and drooping down his forehead. While Hux looked younger in his sleep, he looked even younger with his hair so disheveled. And yes, she knew that was a strange thing to fixate her gaze on, but she could now make a legitimate case of Hux looking… handsome. She now felt the urge to run her hands through hair just to mess it up. Damn, was she tempted, but she remained still, hoping he still thought her asleep.

A yearning in Rey's stomach surfaced as Hux emerged from the water, shaking his hair out. Like her, he remained nude for a bit to dry off, and given he thought she was asleep, he didn't shy away from hiding anything. She certainly blushed, glad that his back was to her. There was a huge difference, she realized, gazing at someone she found attractive versus everyday encounters. She could feel her heart beat in her ears again, louder than before. Rey even found herself strangely attracted to the huge scars on his back (what _were_ they from, she kept wondering), and the blush deepened when her eyes scanned lower. Oh no, she… _really_ wanted him, in a strange way she just couldn't explain.

Hux looked out over the river, still like he was contemplating something. Occasionally Rey would hear him sigh, or stretch his arms over his head. And not once did Rey find herself bored with the sight, despite the slow crawl of light across the clearing, the dimming of the dying fire. Skinny as he was, he still had some muscle. Rey wanted to dart her hands out and see if his skin was soft all over, like his face.

She even watched him dress back in his uniform, being a bit slow with his newly healed arm as he pulled on his undershirt, then his suit over it. He knelt down and washed his hands, then slicked back his hair, much to her disappointment. If only he knew just how much better he looked when he wasn't trying so hard to be perfect! But, of course, she had to stay silent, keep her breathing low and deep, like Hux had taught her.

She only closed her eyes completely when Hux walked over after pulling his pants on, and sat just to pull on his boots, Rey suspected.

"I know you're awake," he stated, and Rey sighed in defeat, opening her eyes completely. Hux had a stern brow raised at her, his arms crossed tightly. "How long have you been staring?" The way he spoke was like a father condescending to a child. Rey wondered if he took on this tone with his soldiers.

Slowly she sat up, scratching the back of her head. "After you dressed," she lied. "It wasn't for very long."

"Right," he replied, clearly not believing her. But he didn't ask her to tell the truth.

Rey ducked her head down to start putting her hair up. She noticed her lightsaber was still in her thigh holster. Strange… he was going more off their usual schedule, with him bathing much later and not hiding her weapon.

"You didn't hide my—"

"There's no point anymore. You've never had trouble finding it," he said with his usual scoff, running a hand through his hair, to make sure it stayed in place. "Obviously your powers _are_ getting a bit stronger."

"I sense something resembling a compliment, General," Rey teased, getting up despite her hair only in one bun so far. She moved to sit beside him before continuing to put her hair up.

"Here, let me counter it, then: I don't understand why you put your hair up like that." Hux turned more toward her, his knee grazing hers.

Gaping, Rey leaned over and nudged his shoulder with her own, before putting her hair up the rest of the way. "I suppose the style makes more sense on Jakku. But it looks better up than down—or rather, I'm too used to it up. Still… you could be nicer."

"'Nice' isn't in my vocabulary, I'm sure you know. This is dangerous—it's too early in the morning to be this… intimate." Hux then shied away from Rey, scooting away from her very slightly. Had she not been used to his tendencies, she wouldn't have noticed the slight change.

Unfortunately, Rey had _too_ much time on her hands and she immediately noticed every little thing Hux did. Her slight smile faded, and Rey pulled her vest tighter around herself, if just to keep her hands busy. "I guess you don't remember what I said about making these small moments count," she murmured, looking down.

"Oh, I do." But Rey could already sense the internal struggle in those three words, the want to do more with her, but the hesitation still very presence in his every move. If only he would let go a bit more!

Before she could think of a rebuttal, though, Hux clenched and released his fists, then declared, "I'd like to spar."

Taken aback, Rey leaned away for a moment, processing the idea. She was about to ask the terribly stupid question, "Together?", but realized that he'd no one else to do this with. And honestly, Rey could use this kind of exercise. Sure, she could use tree trunks to kick and branches on which she could pull herself up and climb, but she remembered the occasional spar with others on the Resistance base, the charming smiles and chummy jabs in good taste. Rey had never had _fun_ fighting someone before—would it be the same with Hux, she wondered. On one hand, he took everything so seriously, and it really might not be enjoyable. On the other hand, would it be strange, given this romantic entanglement? Would she be able to fight fairly with him? Hux would likely not hold back—he'd shot her hand before, after all.

Then she took into the other dilemma. "Are you sure you're fit for that with your arm?" she asked, just making sure. But the mention of sparring already had her at the edge of her seat, her body itching to do something. This was almost as exciting as, well… a kiss, really. She was getting similar reactions: tingles moving through her body, the fluttering in her stomach, her heart beating faster, her breath catching slightly. Everything minus the press of Hux's plump lips softly against her own.

"I won't use it much," Hux replied, quite sure of himself. Rey knew better than to argue with him about this. Besides, she _really_ wanted this, despite Hux probably still recovering a bit from what happened to his arm.

"Best six out of eleven? The round is determined by whoever can pin the other down for a solid ten seconds," Rey suggested, knowing they had all day, given they weren't doing their usual separate morning walks. "If that's too much, then best five out of nine?"

"Just because we're… romantically involved, does not mean I'm going easy on you." Hux stood and moved over to where there was more room. Was that a hint of a smirk on his face? Rey certainly like to think so, because now she was grinning. This could actually be… fun. She didn't think "Hux" and "fun" even belonged in the same sentence or activity, but here they were.

"Funny, I was just about to say the same thing." Rey followed Hux and tossed her lightsaber aside for the moment. They faced each other and she noticed the challenge in his eyes, and even a bit of playfulness, despite his focused, stoic expression. But she was the one who made the first move, charging toward him.

However, she completely forgot just _how_ fast Hux could be. She could barely land any of her swings at him; he ducked and dodged so quickly, and he was somehow amazingly able to keep his newly healed arm from receiving much damage.

Smartly, he went for her legs, and knocked her down, pinning her quite thoroughly. Rey squirmed against his hold, his hands holding her wrists, his knees pressed to her hips. His face was certainly… close. Because they'd been moving around so much, they were both panting, breaths intermingling. Instinctively she raised her chin toward him.

"One for me," he suddenly declared, quickly leaping back up. Rey was surprised that he held out a hand for her to take so he could pull her up, and he _didn't_ use it as an opportunity to flip her over and pin her down again. Maybe she just used it as an excuse to hold hands for a few moments, but she then readied herself for the next round, hoping to sense a pattern in his attacks. Someone as rigid as him _had_ to have a pattern.

Next round, she caught it, but was too busy trying to figure it out that she didn't find time to really defend herself. Given he was probably usually smaller than his opponents, Hux opted to strike more at the legs, and relied on his quick reflexes to get the upper hand. This also worked to his advantage, given he was trying so hard to hardly use his right arm. The thing was, Rey _was_ smaller than Hux. He couldn't rely on his usual methods to win all six rounds now. That didn't stop him from pinning her down again in her distraction, though, raising an amused brow at her. They were so close again… Why was Rey thinking so much about the press of his hips against hers, his lips so close…? "I'm two for two. Start stepping it up," Hux warned, quickly helping her up again.

Fine. He wanted a challenge? She'd start giving him a challenge. She had to admit, the negativity certainly gave her the right motivation. Or maybe Hux still had that terrible way of getting under her skin and she _still_ felt the need to prove herself to him. Rey pursed her lips and took a step back, readying herself.

Hux tried attacking low again, but Rey prepared herself for that, particularly with how he stuck to his word and didn't really use his more dominant arm. She was finally able to pin him down by simply charging at his midsection, tackling him down. Maybe not the best strategy, but it did the trick. Rey was careful to barely hold down his right arm, but she kept thinking about her hips holding his down, panting slightly at how close they kept getting after each round.

"Th-that's one for me." Rey shook her head, not even knowing where her mind was at the moment, and helped Hux up. She took a deep breath—the way Hux had taught her—and readied herself for another round, promising herself to stop lingering on what happened when one of them got pinned down. Why was she focusing on _that_ rather than the actual sparring? They'd fight and the round would be over so quickly, it seemed!

When Rey won the next round, she noticed Hux's brows furrow at realizing they were now tied, and that she'd figured out how to best him with his usual methods. "Start stepping it up, General," she teased as she pulled him up, and he rolled his eyes.

"Don't get cocky now, little minx."

Was he just saying that as a distraction? Because damn it, it kind of worked. Rey lost the next round, because Hux did _indeed_ land a few good hits (as did she), but he really wasn't holding back anymore. So Rey stepped it up even more, trying to even the playing field. Despite the aches all over her body, she enjoyed finally being able to _do_ something so active, that kept her mind working so rapidly, with them both working off each other. And it was refreshing, even if Hux never compromised his scowl. He didn't banter much, like Poe, or offer strong words of encouragement, like Finn. But he was here, and he seemed just as grateful to perform the exercise, even if he didn't really show it.

He'd swing, she'd dodge; she struck, he took the brunt of the blow. And when he pinned her down, Rey would linger on his long fingers wrapped tight around her wrists, his knees holding her legs together. Her chest would heave, her breasts barely grazing his chest with each rapid inhale. His hair would come out of place, bright strands tickling her sweaty forehead. That feeling in her stomach came back with full force, and that tingling feeling moved from her thumping heart down to her hips, which would accidentally roll not due to her own volition.

She'd tilt her her head up slightly, and Hux would suddenly leap back up and pull Rey with him until she was standing. He'd slick his hair back, and the next round would begin.

When she pinned Hux down, given she was shorter, Rey laid atop him so her knees pressed into his thighs to hold his legs closed. She kept wary of his right arm, as always, and she'd keep herself up by leaning her weight on her other arm, so she wasn't _completely_ atop him. Still, that feeling in the pit of her stomach remained—in fact, it only grew more prominent.

Their latter rounds did not consist of biting words and jabs. Their actions, however, told Rey a frightening story of how she wanted more of… _something_ , despite this being a relatively serious exercise. She enjoyed the muss of Hux's hair, which wouldn't stay still despite how many times he tried to slick it back, the heaving of his chest, his red lashes shielding his half-lidded green eyes, the parting of his thick lips, seeming to invite Rey to kiss him. She pinned him down on their tenth round, making this a tie, and they only had one more to go to declare a winner. But neither of them moved. Was this to just catch their breath, she wondered as she watched Hux put up a very halfhearted struggle against her.

She was acutely aware, however, of him giving a slow roll of _his_ hips against hers, but he stilled as if he made a mistake. And Rey knew, she needed to get up first. But she didn't.

Rey instead stopped thinking. She _should have_ gotten to her feet and helped Hux to his so they could duke out this final round and determine a winner. But she watched the bump in his neck move up and down in a heavy gulp, and the parting of his lips was too inviting for her to refuse. She closed her eyes only after she crashed her lips against his, swallowing the surprised noise he made.

Kisses, she realized, were even better like this, where she had her weight on him, where they had to change the angle every few moments after gasping for air. She didn't mind the strange way her nose pressed beside his, or how he made a few noises that sounded like he was utterly confused. Her hands eased up as she fell onto him, as if trying to mold her body to fit completely against his.

He kept his arms above his head, even when Rey moved her hands down to his shoulders, and lower still, acting on instinct and feeling as thought melted away. She couldn't stop _kissing_ him. And he obviously enjoyed this, too, as he kissed back, and didn't push her away like she expected him to. This was the longest they'd ever been in lip lock, but honestly Rey saw it as an accumulation of everything that'd just happened—the sweating, being pinned down, the panting. Something inside her _wanted_ , and she wasn't so afraid to _act_ anymore.

He was a few beats off, but it looked like Hux wasn't so afraid to act, either. Or perhaps he wasn't thinking, like her. Because his hands moved to her waist, holding her delicately, like she was going to break, or maybe despite the kisses he was still really scared to _touch_ her. But he then moved his hands up slowly, under her vest, from the belt slung low on her hips to her ribs, right under her breasts. She gasped, parting the kiss for a moment.

Hux took that opportunity to completely surprise her by quickly flipping them over, so he straddled her. Rey started to shake, but only because she hadn't expected it. She gazed up at him, staring into those half-lidded eyes, and they weren't clouded with confusion—he looked at her like he wanted to devour her, and she let out a sound she'd never expected to make. She surged up again, but she didn't think—didn't think about how she _wanted_ those parted lips, and certainly didn't think when her tongue darted out before she chased it with a kiss, a shock running down her spine when he didn't hesitate to meet it with his own. She swallowed a low growl he emitted, her hips once again rolling into him because it just felt _right_. Her hands moved to tug at his belt, unbuckling it so she could feel how _warm_ he was underneath, above his undershirt. Yes, it'd been nice when she lay on top of him, but to have him pin her down like _this_ … Her hips rolled up again, wishing there weren't so many layers, wishing she knew how to give _more_ , take _more_ and keep such a feeling up.

Rey's hands slid up from his chest to his neck, her thumbs running over his cheeks, then up to his hair, where she pulled gently at the soft, bright strands, and he growled in her mouth again. Everything kept clashing, but it was primal, and hot, and when his hands moved under her shirt, she could feel her chest heave off the soil, pressing herself against him.

Even if they parted for air, barely even a moment later either Rey would crash herself back into Hux, or he would chase the kiss quickly, his hands digging into her ribs. The tips of his fingers barely grazed the skin under her breasts, and Rey let out another noise, this one a bit louder. She certainly _wanted_ more—how should she go about it? _Should_ she go about it? Did _he_ want it, want something similar? Was this moving too fast, too slow?

She wasn't thinking about it, and now she was thinking _too_ hard about it. Now her mind focused too much on what she was doing now, rather than acting on whatever she felt.

Hux must have been thinking the same thing, because he slowly pulled away from her lips, still panting. Rey felt her chest heave still, shivering when his hands moved down her sides, still under her shirt. She gave him a timid smile, and Hux pressed his forehead to her cheek, resting a moment. Instead of tugging at his hair, Rey instead stroked her fingers through it, as she so often did. "Let's call it a draw," she decided, looking up at the sky.

"I suppose we're equally matched, for now," he conceded, and Rey could tell, they were definitely sparring again, hopefully with the same results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for now, the "T" rating will stay up, but given what's happened here and what I've written for this ship from before, that will probably go up.
> 
> And given what's happened in the fandom today, with the reveal of Hux's first name and the secrets of his past, will that make it into the fic? Of course!
> 
> And as always, I apologize for not getting to everyone's comments, but be assured that I do read them and enjoy all your lovely words of praise!


	15. Take Me Down into Your Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously apologize with how slowly these chapters are coming out now that I'm out of school. But just know that I still have the muse to follow through with this fic. We're getting really close to the end! And, looking at the outline, that means only two more chapters! So hang in there guys, the ride is almost through!
> 
> Also bear in mind that this is where the rating for the fic goes up. For some reason I can't seem to keep my smut concise.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 15: "Take Me Down into Your Paradise"**

"Stop that." Hux blew his mussed hair out of his face before reaching up to slick it back into place.

"Why? You look so much better with it down." Rey was about to say "younger," but she felt that might put Hux off a bit. In small movements and winces, she could see that he cared so much more about the age difference than she did. It didn't really bother her when everything else was blurred, and he moved like a relatively young man, anyway.

The continued sparring certainly convinced Rey he was relatively spry—yet the two of them seemed pretty equally matched. Some days Hux would win, some days it was Rey, and more often than not they'd end up rolling around in the soil, caught up in heated kisses from the intimacy of being pinned down. Rey preferred when Hux took control during those moments, as it was a side to him she doubted he even knew much about. She'd mess up his hair, but nothing compared to the feel of his hands on her skin, just shy of pulling her clothes off.

And why didn't he? The furthest she could get was tugging his uniform jacket and belt off, and her hands on his skin, under his undershirt. Hux would stop her the moment her hands touched his back—because of the scars, she imagined. But he would come to his senses and pull away, clearing his throat and hastily putting himself together.

She gladly welcomed his hands on her skin, could feel the pull of her body _wanting_ in a way she didn't think possible. She knew what emotional longing felt like—she'd felt it on Jakku, had desired for a family with every pore of her being to where it felt strange to _not_ want something when she left. Suddenly it came back, gradually, but for something different. And with a physical wanting she didn't think very possible. But her body screamed for him as much as her mind did. From hesitant camaraderie to _this_ , and Rey could somehow feel the barrier he was putting up within himself, whether it was because of the age difference or whatever separation he thought they still had, or maybe something else entirely.

"A General's hair should never have a strand out of place." Hux attempted to move his hair as close as he could to its original state, and Rey sighed. "Now how would you like it if I just reached over and undid those terribly wicked buns in your hair because it 'looked better'?"

"I'd invite it," Rey countered with a smirk, tempted to reach over and muss his hair again to prove her point again and again until he saw what she did. "If you really liked it. It might make my neck hot, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if I changed up my hair a bit."

"What's wrong with one bun? We allow our female officers with longer hair to wear it like that," he suggested.

"What's wrong with three? And 'unconventional' isn't the right way to answer that and you know it," Rey shot back. "I keep messing up your hair because you get so annoyed." That was a bit of a lie, but she couldn't tell him the real reason, that it was—

"No, it's because you're trying to make me look younger," he answered, looking right through her. "But as I recall, you're the one who declared that age didn't matter, since you were old enough to make your own decisions."

Rey dropped her hand into her lap, looking away a moment. Why must he be so damn observant? "It also makes you look less rigid, more approachable," she added slowly, trying to salvage the conversation, rather than giving him the last word. She reached up for a hesitant kiss, hoping to calm him down. And he… actually started to see how petty this was, when he kissed back with a sigh.

This conversation was going nowhere. Rey kept up the kisses to pass the time, but they were so chaste compared to their post-sparring kisses that they started to get… well, boring. They barely even left the clearing now—everything they needed was right here, apparently. Hux didn't hide her saber. They sparred by the river. The only thing that would make this less mundane was…

Oh, _perfect_. Rey's lips curled into a bit of a smirk as she pulled away from another kiss. "Teach me how to swim," she said lowly, hoping that, if she sounded a bit sensual, he'd agree to it. Rey wasn't _too_ sure how sex appeal worked, but if she'd learned anything from Poe…

Hux pulled away at that, taken aback. "What, _no_ ," he immediately replied, letting go of her hands. "That's a _terrible_ idea after we've… become intimate."

"What are you talking about? It's a natural progression." Was it just her feeling this physical attraction and this need for more, then? "Or are you _scared_?"

A low blow, she knew, but she watched Hux's jaw clench, his stance tighten. "That's not going to work," he declared, determined to hold his ground.

General Hux: unafraid to die for his cause, but deathly afraid of teaching a young woman how to swim. Rey almost chuckled at the thought. "Isn't it, though?" She took his hands again, leaning toward him again. "It isn't like you haven't seen me before, that I've never seen you. I don't know why you're still so uptight about this when we've gone over limited time, making every moment count."

"You're really outdoing yourself, little minx," Hux uttered through a clenched jaw. "If only the river were more deep, I'd make this more difficult for you."

"So is that a yes?" He was so _vague_ about his answers sometimes. Rey started to shake her hair out of her buns, the ones that annoyed him so.

"Do _not_ look until we're both in the water," he ordered, even pointing his finger at her sternly. He hadn't started undressing yet, but Rey already tossed her vest and belts aside, excited to _finally_ learn how to swim—and yes, she was a tad more excited about that over Hux finally acknowledging that bodies weren't something of which he should be disgusted.

Rey stood and quickly stripped the rest of the way down, practically leaping into the water. She didn't, however, when she realized she might overshoot and do something stupid. So she waded waist deep, as she always did, but kept her back to Hux, who of course wanted his privacy, despite the few times that she'd watched him bathed. Despite the warm water, and the warm, humid air, Rey seriously shivered, still rather nervous. This wasn't _just_ for the swimming lesson, and they both knew that.

How could he teach her how to swim, though, when he barely looked at her? Hux started by having Rey on her stomach, kicking wildly, his hand barely grazing her stomach. His nose scrunched every time she splashed water on him, despite the fact that this was the water he bathed in every morning. He tried his damnedest to not stare at her, to where she didn't even notice he dropped his hand, and she was actually floating…! And kind of swimming a bit!

His whole neck was completely pink, embarrassed and flushed from the situation and the heat. Rey tried to reach up for a kiss, but he dodged it and then suggested a few more exercises: holding her breath, arm strokes, floating on her back. For someone so hesitant and still so uptight, he certainly wanted to do a _lot_ here in the river.

Every time Rey dunked her head, Hux made _sure_ her back was to him. But she couldn't see much underwater; everything was blurred and she wasn't down there long enough to even notice anything. Strange—she could hold her breath well when it came to not inhaling a poisonous gas, but she couldn't handle _water_? Rey slicked her hair back as she emerged to breathe, facing Hux though he'd tried at every moment to turn her back around. "Stop pretending like my front side doesn't exist," she pouted, but he only placed a hand before his eyes. How could he be so… childish and immature when it came to this?

But Hux just ignored her anyway, and they continued on. He turned her back around and awkwardly stood behind her, hunching over her to help as he reached over her shoulders to assist how her strokes should proceed without letting his lower half come in any contact with her. His fingers were long, she realized, paying little attention to what she was _actually_ supposed to do. She focused more on his pale skin against her tanned arms, his breath in her ear, like she'd been so used to when he'd taught her how to breathe properly, the soothing sound of his voice, mixed with the gentle stream of water. Cup her hands on the upstroke, fingers first in the water, remember to keep kicking… she could do this. When she actually tried swimming (downstream, so it'd be easier on her muscles and she wouldn't stray to where her feet couldn't touch the bottom of the river), it wasn't the tedious task she figured it'd be—had it really been this simple the whole time?

Hux stopped her, though. "Can't have you straying too far as a novice," he uttered, bringing her upright. He could still never quite meet her eye when she stood, and she couldn't bring herself to move deeper than her waist or stomach. "Still, I suppose you deserve credit for your… enthusiasm."

"And _you_ need to loosen up." Rey tried to gently make Hux face her, but that only made him stiffen more, and his eyes stayed trained to the water. It was during these wavering moments like these that Rey wondered what even attracted her to him in the first place.

She had to try _something_ , though. Rey pressed her front to Hux, so at least he wouldn't _see_ much of her body, but he still flushed and refused to look her in the eye.

"You don't… _fear_ what the next step might be?" he finally asked after a moment, hesitantly looking at her.

Next… _oh_. Rey wasn't incredibly well read, but she still accidentally came across a file on the science behind human attraction. She knew how the act worked clinically, but it wasn't supposed to feel like _this_. Like every fiber of her being longed to do something more, and because he kept turning away, the more she _wanted_ , because he'd already given her a taste. Could he hear how loud her heart was beating, she wondered, when she finally took another chance and made the first move again, starting with a kiss.

It always took him a while to get into it, and he still moved his lower half away from her. Rey pulled away slowly and pursed her lips, frustrated. "Of course I'm sort of afraid," she replied, her voice low. "No… I'm _really_ afraid. But we keep treading this line, back and forth between feeling and action, and fear and throwing all caution to the wind." A line where Hux was firmly on one side, and Rey on the other, and it was difficult to meet in the middle. "You keep assuring me you understand the meaning of our limited time, and then proceed to shut yourself off again."

Taking a deep breath, she took a step back and ran a hand down his chest slowly. He stiffened and tried to shy away from her touch, but couldn't bring himself to step away, it seemed. Maybe it was the curiosity or intrigue—something Rey was certainly feeling, as well. "I'm going to touch you," she decided. "If at any time you hate it, or make your discomfort known, or tell me to stop, I will stop. I won't do it again." But that feeling inside her told her that she needed to _know_.

He gave a nod—a very slight one, where anyone could mistake it as just a twitch of the head, his eyes downcast toward the water. It was probably the only indication she was getting that he was on board, at least for now. So Rey kept that in mind when she reached up for a kiss. Start with something familiar, and maybe they'd both be more open to whatever the heck her hand was doing. Her free hand wandered into his damp hair, just trying to soothe him, as she always did, for whatever happened next.

Rey pressed herself against Hux as her hand moved lower, in the water, against his stomach. Other than parting for air, neither broke the kiss. She noted that he kept his eyes closed, as if opening them would make him change his mind about the whole affair—and when she finally moved her hand in between his legs, her heart pounding just at the _thought_ of what she was venturing to do, he gave a sharp intake of breath, and his eyes squeezed closed tighter. But she couldn't tell what that meant, so she wrapped that curious hand around him, trying to read his expression from that.

His lips parted. Rey pressed her lips to his cheek and slowly moved her hand up his length, then back down, her eyes on Hux, who swallowed thickly and tilted his head up. This was all good, yes? She repeated the action, and he gave a gasp, similar to the ones he emitted when they kissed after a vigorous round of sparring.

When she kissed him again, he seemed to hold back a vigor he wanted to release, and Rey wasn't sure how to pry it out of him. She _wanted_ him to feel, and not think for once—the closest she could get was, again, those post-sparring kisses, but even then he thought too much. Didn't let go. "I can stop," she murmured against him, but her hand only sped up. She could feel something happen within him, could feel him harden under her touch, which, she'd read, meant he was becoming aroused. He was so _warm_.

" _Don't_ ," he panted, his blush more prominent. Rey bit her lip, holding back a smile. _She_ was doing this. _She_ was making him feel good, and _she_ was finally helping him let go of all that pressure he seemed to exert on his image. The thought brought back that warmth in the pit of her stomach. Only now it seemed to spread, up to her beating heart and flushed face, and down further, tingling in her toes, in her thighs. That _want_ for him suddenly grew tenfold.

Rey swallowed a moan he gave, burying her fingers in his hair, almost grabbing at his bright locks. She pressed herself tighter to him to try and rid herself of such want, but that didn't really help; it only made her need for him grow. She groaned as well, from his warmth, from how she made him hard under her touch, from how she wanted him.

And how she could _have_ him, if she wanted. If he wanted.

Hux only opened his eyes and really broke the kiss when Rey took another chance, and boosted herself up to wrap her legs around his waist. The water displacement, she realized, made it easy enough for them to hold this position. Confused, he wondered why she'd stopped stroking. "What are you doing?" he asked, the panting still evident in his voice.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. But something inside her told her this was what she needed to do; this was what would alleviate that want dwelling inside her. Her hand held around the base of his length, leading him toward her core. Her eyes never left his, though hers were equally confused.

Was it strange if she wasn't expecting it to hurt? Was it supposed to feel like that? Her mouth parted in a moan, and her brows furrowed in concentration as she guided him inside her. The more she felt of him, though, and the more she relaxed and _breathed_ , it did start to feel pleasurable. Hux seemed to sport the same expression, moving his hands to under her thighs to support her.

When he was fully inside her, Rey shakily wrapped her arms around his neck and groaned again, right against his jaw. She felt him bury his face against the juncture in between her neck and shoulder, his hands gripping her thighs tightly as he got used to the feeling. Though she didn't hear him, she could feel that moan against her, running though her.

As she became comfortable with the feeling of Hux buried within her, she moved her hips slightly, grinding against him experimentally. " _Oh_." My, that was nice— _amazing_ , even. She moved a few more times, and when he couldn't take the feeling, and thrust deeper inside her, Rey felt that shock of pleasure wave throughout her entire body. His hands moved further up, squeezing her posterior to anchor his thrusts, and she squeezed her eyes shut, nuzzling her face further into his neck, inhaling him, _tasting_ him.

Her hand dropped further south, fingertips grazing one of the scars on his back. Hux shuddered and stilled at that, moving his head up to face her. "Rey…" he uttered, and the _way_ he said it, in pleasure, caused her to moan again. "Don't touch me there."

She had to respect that—something about what had happened there still held some negative feelings within him. Nodding, she bit her lip and moved that hand up to his hair, moving her hips again. The water made things a bit more difficult, to move, but given this was the first time either of them were even _attempting_ sex, they were definitely better off doing this slowly. Hux started a bit of a faster pace, to which Rey was more than eager to follow, her moans coming more frequently. With all the pleasure running through her body, she could hardly hear herself anymore; it was like her head was submerged in water and everything sounded muffled, out of this world, even. Eventually her lips met his again, with everything clashing so messily, from her lips sometimes meeting his chin or his nose, her tongue swiping against his plump bottom lip or against his, her teeth brushing, nibbling, even, her moans intermingling with his owns, showing her just how much he was enjoying this as well. How could she have missed this? How could she have not known that _this_ would be so mind-numbingly _perfect_ that it made her forget everything around her? She couldn't stop, _wouldn't_ stop; she loved this, wanted more, _needed_ him, let her mind stop thinking as she gave herself over to this overwhelming pleasure and let it completely wash over her.

She'd felt something build within the pit of her stomach, more prominent than when she'd originally wanted this. It made her thighs quiver, made her heart pound so fast that she wasn't sure if she could handle it. Her hands tugged more at his hair to provide some reprieve, but that only lasted so long, especially since he seemed to thrust against a spot every once in a while that caused her to moan louder, call out his name. Eventually her body couldn't take the overwhelming pleasure throbbing within her, and she let it spill over, her body arching into him with a few erratic thrusts until she stilled, panting heavily. At the same time, Hux bit into her shoulder gently, holding her tight as Rey felt something hot fill inside her. She could feel him struggle a bit to hold her after such intensity, but here they were, on that same wavelength, which only happened so rarely.

She had no idea her voice had gotten so high pitched! Had she really lost herself so terribly to this feeling? How powerful this act was! And she knew, without prying into his mind, that he was thinking the same thing behind those half-lidded green eyes, still slightly clouded with lust. She felt a bit of a gap within herself as he left her, her body wondering just where he'd gone. As she caught her breath, Rey pressed shaky kisses to his forehead, his cheek, his eyelids, and finally, his lips. The kiss wasn't nearly as heated as before; rather, it was calming, tender, assuring.

If anything, Hux was shaking even more than she was, still frightened of what had just happened. She knew he'd enjoyed it, with how he'd lost himself as much as she had, but he still acted like he had something to lose, and still couldn't fully lose himself to the idea of being with her. She couldn't do much, but she slowly cradled his head to her breast so he rested against her, and her hands pet his hair, rather than tugged at it. Every once in a while she'd press her lips to the top of his head, closing her eyes.

"It's okay," she whispered, so only he could hear. "You're okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or rather, I'll try and make the smut more concise in the future, with only two more chapters to go and some things needing to be wrapped up.
> 
> I'm gonna give a huge shoutout now to the wonderful, beautiful, amazing, talented starshine-galaxy on tumblr! You're my REYUX SOUL SISTER and words cannot describe how much I love you and how, without you, I'd probably still be crying myself to sleep due to lack of Reyux-only love basically everywhere. You get me and I swear we're synced up to some crazy Force bond with how much we love this ship and think of all the same headcanons. And I love talking to you and sharing all our pictures and I need to stop now before this section goes off on some manifesto that's longer than this chapter! Just know now, dear readers, that if you're into Reyux and NOT following her, you're missing out on some wonderful aesthetics, quotes, and art for the ship.


	16. Put Another X on the Calendar, Summer's on its Deathbed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a long shot, but I'm hoping to take it home by the 9th, as I'm going on a short vacation then. I'm too exhausted to say much about the second to last chapter, I'm so sorry! All I can hope for is that you guys like wherever you think the ending is headed.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 16: "Put Another X on the Calendar, Summer's on its Deathbed"**

Rey desperately wished she regretted having sex with Hux, but as she panted and came down from her high, and he collapsed beside her after yet another round of complete pleasure, that obviously wasn't the case.

She curled up to his side and rested her head in the crook of his neck, slowly moving her gaze toward the stars. Now some patterns started to look familiar, but in some strange way that was so different from Jakku. Her hand went to his chest absently, realizing that the most dangerous thing about this new development was how it affected their emotional connection. While before they occasionally held hands and kissed, now it was difficult for either of them to keep their hands off each other. The more they were together, the less she could imagine that inevitable future where they were separate—and it was starting to take a toll on her meditations.

She could only imagine what these similar thoughts were doing to Hux.

They were rather silent right after, as always. Rey would stargaze, or gaze at Hux, sometimes lulling him to sleep as she usually did. Most times he would dress, but Rey actually preferred being so free, especially since that stigma Hux had before had since started to disappear. He would caress more than stare, would feel rather than see. His feather light touch always made her shudder, even in this humidity, whether it be when they were building up to sex, or during the aftermath. Shouldn't she be offended that he thought her so fragile, she wondered. Then why did she like those touches even more than when he pinned her down during sparring? Maybe it was _because_ no one had ever touched her like that, held her like that. She felt his hand on her shoulder, stroking his thumb absently against her skin. It was during these calm, quiet moments where she desperately wished she could fall asleep with him, figure out what it was like to wake up in someone else's arms, surrounded by their warmth. Where she could gaze at Hux's peaceful, sleeping face up close, and think about how, in a way, he was starting to become hers, just as she was becoming his. How dangerous it was—yet they never talked about it. Rey figured it was because Hux would start to fear whatever this was turning into. And she would probably be afraid of what she discovered, as well.

And there lay the main problem. When Rey would finally part from Hux after he fell asleep, after she sang to him, and she would meditate to see if she could reach out through the Force, she started to see another obstacle: that _fear_. Fear of why she and Hux never talked, fear of what would happen to him when they were rescued, fear of what their future would be. They'd gotten too close… and now Rey didn't know what to do. Because of that fear, she couldn't let herself reach out to anyone.

She _could_ , though. In the tips of her fingertips, in the core of her being, she'd realized for a few days now that, if she just let herself go, she _could_ read Luke's signature through the Force. She just couldn't bring herself to scream just where she was, what had happened to her.

And every night, she would stare at Hux helplessly, running her hands through her hair, unsure what she should do. Rey _knew_ she had to get them out of there. Why didn't she feel ready, then? They'd been here long enough, and it _really_ wasn't fair to Hux, who didn't seem to be aware that Rey could reach out to the Resistance just yet. She _knew_ she was being selfish, keeping this fading, messy… whatever they had going. She was nursing this terribly taboo relationship like it could last, like she was still a child who would cling tightly to what she wanted and refuse to let go, a stubborn brow furrowed.

Rey had to tell him, had to get his advice on it all, though she already knew what he would say. Hearing it from his lips would make this all the more easier, would give her the push she needed to do the right thing, no matter how much it pained her to admit that the girlish, sweeping romance she didn't think she wanted couldn't last forever. It couldn't even last very long.

When his eyelids started to flutter closed comfortably, that was of course when Hux started to sit up so he could get dressed. And more often than not she would concede and dress as well, at least just in her shirt and pants. Tonight she dressed with shaky hands, nervous for what she was about to ask of him, what she wanted to know. When they were clothed she absently laid his head in her lap and stroked his hair. But she didn't sing, not yet.

"Tell me a story," she requested gently, fixing her gaze toward the fire rather than at him. One hand moved to brush her fingers against his cheek, then trace along his jaw, before back to his hair.

"I'm not very good at these," Hux warned, but just as Rey was about to assure him she didn't care, as long as she heard his soothing, regal voice, he started to speak again.

"There once was a great kingdom, ruled with complete structure and order, and in its hierarchy of its military there was a ruthless Commandant who so wholly followed the kingdom's practices to a T," he started. Rey felt like she was listening to one of those legends and tall tales told by others on Jakku, to keep themselves occupied on such a desolate planet. She could only wish she could weave such interesting tales, to which others would gather from all over to listen, but her language skills had always been on the more practical side of things, in learning languages rather than weaving tapestries of creative jargon for the sole purpose of entertainment.

"The kingdom, however, fell due to an interloper who destroyed the structure of its fundamentals from the inside. The weaning days of its reign were marked in blood and fire and war, the result of which left little survivors from the former kingdom. The Commandant, however, survived, and with the few who still believed in the kingdom, and did not care for the system put in place afterward, built a _new_ kingdom, one that they vowed would ring true to the old values. They would rise from the ashes of the fallen, hidden to this new system of rulers who spewed lies to their subjects."

Rey had a feeling she knew what this was about, where this was going. But she stayed silent, entranced by his words as her hands moved absently about his hair, rhythmically stroking through those bright strands.

Hux continued. "The Commandant eventually started his own academy, training the new generation of soldiers to lead this new kingdom. Training, he believed, started from birth, to ensure complete loyalty to the cause. There was no room for any weaknesses.

"He had been married for some time, to a rigid woman close to his age, but unbeknownst to her, the Commandant had many flaws of his own, infidelity being one of his larger offenses. There was a pretty little kitchen servant, who served him his wine and meals in silence whenever he asked, and she eventually fell for his charms, despite knowing who he was, and that he was married. They conducted their affair silently in the thick of shadows, but secrets find their ways of getting out.

"For the servant, the evidence of the affair was physical, after a time. Children are difficult to hide, after all, and the truth has its way of eventually coming out."

How terrible. Why was Hux telling a story like this, she wondered then. "Did she love him?" she asked.

"If she did, I honestly could not tell you why," he scoffed. "Perhaps she feared him, to the point where she felt she could not refuse him. Or maybe she did admire him and cared little for his marriage. Either way, the damage was done.

"As punishment for the affair, mother was separated from child and the Commandant, though he expressed a want to hide his mistake, was forced into raising him. Luckily the child looked enough like the Commandant that this secret was only disclosed to very few people. He was too small and weak to be named after the Commandant, so he was instead named Armitage."

Rey repeated the name in her head. It didn't seem like the type of name to grow on anyone's tongue, no matter how many times someone said it. But then again, she called herself _Rey_. She'd no idea what made something fancy, what made someone worthy of being called after their family. When Hux said it, his lips twitched slightly, like the name was a bug he just couldn't get rid of. Her hands slowed in his hair.

"Armitage, though one of the Commandant's most loyal cadets, was very often told of how thin and weak he was, mostly from the Commandant's wife, who did not hesitate to let him know that he wasn't hers. The Commandant, as well, often commented not only on the boy's looks, but figured he was too 'sympathetic,' even when he tried to be ruthless. 'Distracted,' though he was focused. It was like, no matter what he did right, he could not be seen as more than a reflection of his father's weaknesses.

"He tried his damnedest to not let such words get to his head, but it was always in the times he faltered that the Commandant remembered, that affected him the most. He faltered once, during a final examination, and got too close to an explosion. A week later, he woke alone, with a physical reminder of all his failures, a culmination of everything where he couldn't hide it behind a straight face."

 _The_ … But Rey stopped herself as soon as she opened her mouth. This wasn't something she should interrupt, she knew. She felt like if she snapped him out of this for even a moment, he'd stop speaking to her, and leave her pondering about… well, everything he'd just said.

"And, just when he moved up in his ranks, was at the top of his class, and it looked like perhaps he had something of which his father could be proud, this new empire struck a deal with a group of knights and their leader. The leader's 'finest' was no more than an entitled, spoiled child, handed everything due to abilities Armitage could not acquire. He'd been ridiculed and teased and put down, but the extent to which this man went to make his life a living hell—as they were in constant competition for positive attention—almost broke him. How the hell was he supposed to be the best when it seemed like there was such a barrier holding him back?

"He instead never stooped so low, never gave up. By fighting back and being unafraid, he _impressed_ the leader. But never his father, who'd died during such conflict. The Commandant would certainly disown the boy if he could see him now, as, after all his training, all the ways in which he _tried_ , he ended up on some deserted planet with the enemy."

The tips of his ears went red; his breathing became more rigid. Obviously this talk of… well, Rey knew who it was, as she'd be reacting similarly, as well. It really got his blood boiling, such talk. But she was so entranced with his tale. What kept her so grounded and melancholy was _why_ he was saying this now. Why he decided to open up, all of a sudden. And she hadn't expected it to feel like _this_. Her throat clenched as she swallowed thickly, and her heart ached to comfort the small boy who hadn't deserved most of the life he'd been dealt.

Rey knew of General Hux, what he'd done, how terrible he could be to whoever stood in his way. Starkiller Base was his magnum opus—there was her red flag right there. He seemed to rule the First Order with a ruthless structure, though he wasn't the face, or representative of their horribly intimidating ways. She remembered how terrified she'd been of his cold, green eyes and sharp cheekbones, because he didn't need the mask to scare anyone.

Yet she cried all the same, her shoulders slumping and shaking. How things had _changed_.

Her own past certainly wasn't something she'd wish upon anyone, but at _least_ she had hope. At _least_ she had a few comrades on Jakku who had helped her out in her early scavenging days. She'd been called names, yes, but they were never from people to whom she considered herself particularly close. How terrible it must be, to have the person who had helped give him _life_ regret his son's existence, no matter how much Hux had tried to prove himself.

Hux was lost in his mind, in his past, staring ahead until he felt one of her tears splash against his cheek. Startled, he suddenly looked up at her, and Rey noticed, through tear-blurred eyes, that he swallowed, too. "Don't cry for the weak little boy. He's long gone now," he advised, his voice very even despite everything he'd just poured out to Rey.

She shook her head. "He wasn't weak," she denied, moving a hand away from his hair to wipe at her eyes. "And I don't think he's gone."

He stayed silent for a few moments as Rey collected herself. "I know what you're afraid of," he said suddenly, and Rey stilled, caught. Her hand dropped to his shoulder limply. She thought about all the days she wasted due to her fear of the future. But how childish and stupid it was of her, to think they could stay here forever in this temporary bliss.

Looking up at her, Hux brought a hand up to squeeze hers, a very affectionate gesture for someone like him. "Call to them," he continued, his voice still just as even. "I accepted what will likely happened to me when you made that damned promise."

It seemed like an eternity ago, when Rey decided to vouch for him helping her. Of course she figured the Resistance might not listen to her, but back then she hadn't cared what happened to the ruthless General with the broken arm. At the time, she just wanted to do whatever it took to get back to her new home, her amazing friends, fighting for their cause. And now…

She couldn't believe how calm he was about all this. He must have felt he _had_ no future. But, now knowing of his past, she figured he _never_ felt he had a future. And yes, it was possible that he was lying about all of this. Rey could somehow _feel_ , however, that wasn't the case, despite Hux not being Force sensitive. It was something in his eyes, in his defeated slump, that made her realize that he was starting to _really_ let the situation sink in.

"I…" Rey wasn't sure how to respond.

He squeezed her hand tighter. "Rey, there's no such thing as perfection. And you know just as well as I that we can't stay here forever in this selfish euphoria. There's nothing here for us anymore."

She hated that he was right, that in her heart of hearts, she knew that she was acting her age by pretending things could magically get better and that they could forget where they came from. Their pasts defined parts of them; this present helped define the rest. She looked toward the fire, and nodded slowly, finally accepting it. She couldn't do this to him, couldn't do this to herself anymore. "When you sleep," she vowed, her voice tiny, shaky. And she couldn't shed tears—she had to be strong. Rey squeezed his hand back.

"Which will be now," he replied, closing his eyes. His hand still held hers. She knew he was expecting her to sing. And she would. She promised herself that for the rest of their time here, she'd pretend that they were somehow still in that state of contentment, that nothing had changed. Why deny herself a happiness she hadn't really known until now, a happiness that not even her Resistance friends could bring?

But she couldn't let him sleep without letting him know one more thing. Rey leaned down and kissed his cheek tenderly.

"Armitage," she said softly, letting the name roll slowly off her tongue like she was tasting it for the first time. "I like it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help but incorporate how I feel Hux was raised, I just couldn't! There's a lot I want to explore with the idea, but any more here and I take away what's integral to this story in particular. But if anyone wants to talk about how much you can take away from what little we know about Hux, then I'm so, so down.
> 
> I'm kind of sad, but mostly relieved that we're almost at the end here. You guys have been so awesome, supporting me and supporting the little ship that (kind of) could! I'm happy to see more people exploring Reyux by itself, and whether you were a shipper in the first place, or something else brought you here, I'm incredibly grateful.


	17. I Would Have Liked Us to Work, but Life Had Other Plans on Our Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are at the end! I know it's been a pretty wild ride, but hopefully whoever has been reading, whether you've been there in the beginning or you're just reading now, has enjoyed what I've put out there for this little ship. This has seriously been a taxing project, but I've enjoyed the friends I've made from this! Thank you all so much.

_**The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break** _

**Chapter 17: "I Would Have Liked Us to Work, but Life Had Other Plans on Our Romance"**

As requested, after some hesitation, Rey did indeed reach out to Luke. How strange it felt, to finally talk to someone who wasn't Hux, after so many days. Given the distance, she couldn't send him much, other than the fact that she was _alive_ and on a remote planet. She didn't mention Hux, not yet. But she used everything he'd helped teach her: breathing, concentration, sharp wit, acceptance of her feelings… and she could feel Luke's signature. Finally she did something about it.

Her secret romance with Hux had a deadline, and now Rey had to consider it far more than she ever had before. First and foremost, she respected the privacy of it, the intimacy of knowing that this was _only_ theirs to share. They'd act the role of colleagues when the Resistance arrived, and everyone would be none the wiser. It'd perhaps, Hux had said, sell her early promise of tying to vouch for him and how he'd helped her if everyone believed their relationship was nothing but platonic.

When Luke then started to reach out more to Rey in the following days, in small doses, she would send what she saw, her environment, the unfamiliar constellations. She couldn't describe any more than _here_ , wherever "here" was. Luckily, given Luke and Leia had _years_ of practice over her, and seemed to understand how to reach her. Somehow, someway, Rey knew they were certainly getting out of there soon. Every day she could feel Luke's presence more prominently.

She warned him about General Hux, about how he had helped her and that she only felt it fair to vouch for returning him to the First Order. Luke, though not truly understanding her position, respected it at least. For now, it was enough.

Hux was the type of person where if he didn't feel he had anything to contribute to a conversation, he wouldn't speak. Of course Rey was used to his usual silence, but now, watching his face slowly start to lose the feistiness that had once kept him so hardened, she couldn't help but feel unnerved with what was going on through his mind, especially with what she now knew about him.

Her only solace in trying to keep this happiness was finally allowing herself to sleep with him.

He'd protested, as she suspected he would, but Rey asked him if he had any doubt in her abilities, that she could wake at a moment's notice and protect him if needed. Hux, of course, couldn't argue with that. He conceded with an annoyed scowl, but even that disappeared when she kissed him and started to strip away his clothes. Even he had something rather normal about him—when they were this close, stripped nude and kissing, he had little to be angry about. Rey adored watching him, from how, despite his thin body, he was somehow able to exert such _strength_ over, to his eyes, half-lidded and soft, instead of unreadable.

And then, afterward, when he showed her every bit of raw emotion he normally kept inside, they assumed their usual sleeping position, with their legs intertwined, Hux's arm around her shoulders, and Rey's head in the crook of his neck. It was so _easy_ to fall asleep like that, so soothed just by someone else's presence. At times she would sing to him, but most of the time Rey would be so overwhelmed with emotion that she quickly fell asleep against him.

Waking up was even better. She savored the moments when she woke before him, where she could observe him up close. From a distance was one thing, but there was such a softness to his features. The slight parting of his lips, how she could hear his deep breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his chest if she laid a hand there… She committed it all to memory, like she would never see him again after this, and she hated thinking about that, despite everything Luke was sending her to keep in touch. She'd brush his bright hair back and think of that name, a name she figured he'd tried to bury with the rest of his past. "Tage," she'd whisper, just as he was waking up, and even at times when he was still asleep. He never said anything against it, as if he was granting her this one luxury she couldn't get anywhere else.

Days were spent doing whatever they damn well pleased, as long as at some point they gathered firewood and enough to eat, both of which they did together now. He wasn't so scared of her body anymore, and that made him so much more relaxed. She could splash him, if she wanted, and though he'd frown, he'd slam her back, his lips just barely curling up at the corners. Then she'd kiss him again, and just before things started to heat up, one of their stomachs started grumbling, and they remembered their priorities. And, given that they were quite close to being rescued, they made their portions larger. Hux just had great reflexes—he was able to catch fish so much easier than Rey, even though she'd been hunting for them for much longer. Of course it annoyed her, but then again, she figured he'd trained much longer to be that quick.

That's usually where the splashing came from.

And while Rey figured things were incredibly bittersweet, especially at night when she marked down another day of being stuck here, they were even sadder when Rey watched the sun sink under the canopy of trees and those familiar, unfamiliar constellations took over. It meant one less day of this, one less day of this childish romance she was still hanging onto. It was like she had her eyes squeezed shut and her fingers in her ears, screaming a tune so she could shut herself off to the world. Rey couldn't smile anymore without it having a hint of sadness.

Sex was a miraculous refuge from all of it, if just for a few moments. There was no inevitable, or the promise of escape. It was just the two of them together, and she could just kiss Hux, or look him in the eyes, and just _maybe_ all was right in the galaxy. Or whatever galaxy in which they happened to find themselves. She could watch his lashes flutter, his lips part, the way his voice carried her name. They held each other tight, and Rey would feel his body against hers, hot and wonderful, and think, _This is real. This is ours. This is_ mine _._ He'd kiss all the air out of her, and when his hands roamed over her body he practically worshipped her, like he was trying to memorize every crevice. Then again, she was doing the same thing—she would kiss whatever she could of his skin because she couldn't think of what was going to happen to them later.

And while she was glad Luke always sent where he was, and she tried her damnedest to project whatever she could about her signature, that meant she knew when that dreaded last night was coming. And she hated that their rescue out of here and back to her friends could also be seen as "dreaded."

When it happened, Hux immediately sensed that Luke had contacted her again. He seemed to just _know_ her facial expressions now. His knuckles brushed her arm, his face forlorn.

When he opened his mouth to speak, Rey interrupted him. "Tage, I don't want to hear about… that." Why couldn't she even say it? Why couldn't she think it?

He sighed. "I was going to say… to just treat it like any normal day here."

"Okay." Rey nodded once. Of course she had to agree—it's what she wanted, too. They'd just gotten dressed, when she heard Luke. And given that Hux was right next to her when it happened, she couldn't hide it from him. She couldn't hide anything from him anymore, when he could read her face and body so well now. Then again, they'd promised to not be romantic when they were rescued, and Rey had to try and honor that, much as she knew she'd want to hold him in those moments before. But after tonight, there would be no contact. After tonight, Rey wasn't even sure she'd see Hux again.

Maybe it was for the best. Maybe she'd be in her right mind if she was around the right people, and reminded herself that she was fighting for the Resistance, to _stop_ people like Hux in the First Order from taking over the galaxy. But then things got complicated if she thought about him, despite everything he'd done, and Rey knew Hux was contemplating the same issues. Maybe one day it'd stop hurting.

"Let's gather our firewood early," she decided, looking out toward the river. "I want you to teach me one more thing about swimming."

"Oh, there's a _lot_ more you need to learn," Hux pointed out. "Besides, we just got dressed." He gestured to his uniform.

"So?" Rey shrugged. "You used to take it off every morning to bathe. You still take it off every night for… other reasons."

The tips of his ears went pink. Rey reached over and kissed his cheek softly. "It's all right," she assured. "No one will know about that. I do want to learn how to float in deeper waters, though."

"Fine, fine," he conceded, waving a hand. When he stood, he offered a hand for Rey to take so he could help her up. It was laughable, she figured, that he was finally starting to be nice to her, when on the first day they were here he tried to show off his sharpshooting skills and refused to let her walk ahead. And now she… well, now they were in a secret romantic relationship that was on the verge of ending.

She kept their hands held together until they started picking up sticks for the night, realizing that things were dwindling down now that they'd used up a lot of this area's resources. But they wouldn't be there much longer. Rey hated that everything seemed to remind her of their last day when she was supposed to treat it like normal. In fact, it was all she could think about.

So when they gathered enough, talking about mundane things like the weather and how many languages they spoke, and went back to the clearing just as midday hit. Given it was the hottest time of day, and Rey wanted to swim, she began to strip down when Hux started to pile them up in his usual meticulous way. But now she could feel his gaze on her, when before he'd insist on covering his eyes. So she slowed her movements down, made a bit of a show out of it without being obvious. Then again, Hux noticed every single thing about her.

He noticed, and Rey only realized this when she heard him utter, "And this is why you're a little minx."

Given Rey liked the little name, she could only smirk, and stepped right into the water. As always, this was where she could forget, where the water was so peaceful and it clogged her ears and there wasn't anything she could think about other than being weightless. She remembered the way he taught her how to swim, and she floated on her back for a bit, keeping her stomach up and her legs kicking lightly. Sound blurred; Rey closed her eyes and just felt the sun on her face as she tried to let all those troubles about the future finally start to slip away.

They slipped away a bit too far, though, or maybe Rey had been floating for too long, but when she tried to stand upright, she couldn't touch the bottom of the river. _Damn!_ She knew she was supposed to relax, and kick, but the panic set in too quickly and she let out a yelp before sinking underwater. And then she popped back up, letting out a strained cry of Hux's name, and she was back under. She shouldn't have just… _escaped_ like that! And even if she did, she should have done it when Hux was in here, too. She couldn't see under here, only the blurred way where fish avoided her. She cried out again helplessly when she couldn't really hold her breath anymore, but then she noticed something bright coming toward her, and thin arms wrapped around her before pulling her up to the surface.

Rey gasped for air, wrapping an arm around Hux. He'd undressed quickly, she realized. "Kick," he ordered, his face stern. "I'm not doing all the work here." All she could do was dumbly nod and obey, kicking until Hux set her down and she could feel the mud on her toes. Still trying to catch her breath, she moved her arms up to his neck and held on tightly.

"I'm sorry," she uttered when she could talk again. At the moment, she couldn't look him in the eye. "I just didn't want to _think_."

"Consider us even," he replied, not letting go of her just yet. Probably because Rey was still shaking. "You saved my life when the beast attacked, and I just saved you." If anything, he pulled her closer. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she assured, leaning against his shoulder. "I'm fine, if not a little shaken. Told you I wanted to learn how to float."

"You seriously live up to your nickname." Hux rolled his eyes, but Rey could somehow tell that was playful.

"Teach me," Rey pressed, pursing her lips. "So I don't have to go through this again anytime soon."

"Fine." Hux shrugged and pulled away from the embrace so he could show her. When he waded out a bit deeper, Rey noted how he kept his legs kicking, his arms slowly treading though the water. "The trick is the legs. You _always_ need to be kicking. Why do you think that was the first thing I taught you? It's the first thing anyone is taught when learning how to swim."

Hux insisted Rey to practice in shallower waters, and not as far out as she had been. But Rey got the hang of treading water, and even though it was a bit difficult keeping her head above water, she was determined to learn, to get it right. One more lesson with Hux, and it made her forget about the day after. All she focused on was the task at hand, and all her other troubles seemed to melt away, if just for these few moments.

It was like sex, just not as pleasurable, she figured. Still, it required less clothes, and for them to get closer. When Hux moved closer to her with a nod to tell her she was getting it right, Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, knowing it was impulsive and stupid, but she just… had to. And Hux certainly wasn't protesting when he splayed his arms on her spine and kissed her back, like he didn't want to let her go.

That was their afternoon: swimming, a few more lessons, and then they caught dinner before the sun went down so they had sufficient time to start the fire. Again, there was the silence, but it wasn't very comfortable anymore, not when they both knew what the other was thinking about: the future. The day after. And neither wanted to really talk about it, especially since there was no use. This affair was almost over, and all they could do was let it happen for the best. She wrapped her overcoat over her nude body, and Hux pulled his pants on.

Rey glared at her fish bones, knowing that after this, she would have better food, better water. Her friends, her cause, her training. She should want all those things over Hux, she knew that. But she… she couldn't admit what was _really_ going on through her mind.

She threw her scraps in the fire and turned to face him. He'd been done for a bit now. Just now he moved his gaze from the fire to her. Behind his hardened eyes, she suspected a bit of fear, but she wouldn't comment on it. Instead, Rey reached over and let the coat slip from her shoulders. She pulled him to her with a gentle kiss, trying to forget. She just needed to forget for another few hours.

One more time. They both knew that. Yet she had no trouble taking his tongue in her mouth with a long sigh, and she was so used to taking off his pants now that she didn't need to break the kiss to do it. His hands moved up her sides, massaging her breasts, and Rey could only lean into his touch and crave more of it. He was all too willing to let his long fingers crawl back down, from her stomach to in between her legs as he laid her down, right on his coat. If he had a problem with that, he certainly didn't show it.

Despite not being well versed in romance, Hux seemed to know his way around her body, and knew just where to touch her to really make her forget who she even was. He teased, pressing his fingers against her opening, then just a tad higher, and Rey pulled his face toward hers for another bruising kiss, making him swallow her moans. When he pressed closer, she felt his hardness against her thigh, and she spread her legs a bit wider, wanting him to completely engulf her. There was something about having him atop her, in not being completely in control for once. It was this strange freedom from it all she couldn't explain.

"Make it slow," she requested, kissing from his lips to his ear, then back again. His brows furrowed.

"Please," she added, her voice barely above a whisper. Her hips bucked on their own accord, like she wanted to contradict what she'd just said. But her body had needs of its own. And it wanted Hux, completely.

Nodding, he dove in for a kiss when he pressed inside her. The initial penetration always had Rey's toes curling, and she always had to tell herself to relax when it happened. But Hux respected how she pleaded, making his pace slow for now. Rey found herself caught up between looking him in the eye, kissing him passionately, and looking up at the stars, focusing on how much pleasure he brought her, how much he cared about making her feel good.

He moaned against her neck, shaking a bit, and Rey wrapped her arms tighter around him, enjoying the press of their bodies moving together, despite the hot weather. Again, he didn't protest, as if he was trying to give her everything in just the course of one night. Rey gazed into his eyes again, his half-lidded, lust-filled green eyes, and let out a hint of a smile, murmuring his name. There was his nickname, the one she'd made for him based on his first name: "Tage," and then there was "Hux," and she used them interchangeably. Every time Hux leaned in for a kiss, Rey would smile again, savoring how he started to lose control, his pace speeding up a bit.

She didn't want it to end, but she was reaching that high. She wasn't going to leave this damned planet without her last time with Hux being nothing short of amazing. So Rey broke the kiss to look him in the eye, and other than the occasional heated press of lips and tongues, it was the eye contact that made everything that much hotter, that much perfect. Rey adored seeing Hux lose control slowly, his concentrated brows furrowing, his eyes closing for longer periods of time. He always made Rey swallow his moans like he was embarrassed of them, but Rey allowed it when he brought her to the edge, and she jumped, her body shaking as she reached her high. Hux followed soon after, collapsing against her breast.

Before he could roll over, like he usually did, Rey stopped him. "No, stay here," she whispered, her voice still quite breathy. Her legs wrapped around his waist, while her hands cradled his head, much like they had that first time. He closed his eyes, and he wasn't shaking like he had then. He held her close, though, knowing this was the last time. He didn't mind giving her exactly what she wanted.

Rey kissed the top of his head and just watched the stars, catching her breath. She didn't want to sleep yet, not with Hux still wrapped around her so perfectly, his warmth surrounding her. She memorized it and made sure to not let her hands wander against his scars, given that he didn't like when she did that. Soon his breathing slowed, and Rey could tell he was asleep, more quickly than usual. She didn't have time to sing to him…! But she couldn't wake him up just to do that, much as she knew both of them would enjoy it.

She let her mind wander to as many places as it could, places where she thought about the best case scenarios, where somehow she and Hux were still able to keep up this terrible secret romance. Maybe if she humored the idea enough, it might actually come true. At least, that's what Rey's post-sex mind figured, as it was still all hazy, not quite there yet. While she could have reached out to Luke, she didn't, not while she was supposed to have this private moment with Hux.

She didn't know how long she'd been up when it happened, but some time during the night, as she was petting Hux's bright hair, savoring these final moments, she saw it. Rey noticed a star falling through the sky. Then another one. And then another. It was almost too perfect.

Slowly she nudged Hux's shoulder—he shouldn't miss this. "Tage," she whispered. He woke, but not as abruptly as usual. When he gave a confused face, Rey pointed toward the sky. "Look up."

Hux only moved his face toward the stars, and he hummed as he noticed the meteor shower. Rey continued to pet his hair back. She'd seen meteor showers on Jakku, of course, But there was something about having someone else here with her that seemed to make the moment all the more special. "Make a wish," he murmured. Maybe it sounded a touch cynical, but Rey closed her eyes and made one anyway. It was for a million different things, but mainly she hoped that when she vouched for Hux, the Resistance believed her, and allowed him to return back to the First Order, if he wanted.

They watched the shower until things died down, and at that point Rey could hardly keep her eyes open. She still had her arms wrapped around Hux, one hand in his hair, and she fell asleep like it was any other night, and she didn't have to worry about what would happen to them in the morning.

Rey had a dreamless sleep, and when she opened her eyes the next morning, the sun was rising fast and the humidity starting to suffocate her. Hux had fallen back asleep on her, his head still on her breast, and she could not be more grateful that that had been their sleeping position for their last night. And now… she could _only_ think of the end, of that future coming to rescue them in due time. She wanted one more kiss… _needed_ one, she figured.

But when Hux awoke, he treated things like they hadn't been so romantic over these past few weeks. He was really sticking to that agreement they'd worked out, even though Rey couldn't see the _Falcon_ anywhere in sight. She dressed slowly, but looked at him, trying to communicate that she wanted that kiss.

"Rey…" Of course he knew what was on her mind. "You know we can't. We agreed." Stubbornly, he pulled his boots on. No more glancing at his pale skin anymore, those scars, even.

"Right…" Rey shook her head and tried not to think too much about it as she put her lightsaber back into its holster. This time she was the one kicking the burned sticks aside, making room for the _Falcon_ to land. The clearing was certainly big enough for it. Chewie would probably be there, as would Finn, who probably insisted on joining Luke. Of course her heart ached to see them, and there was still a part of her quite excited to finally get a new change of scenery. Luke had sent her just how far they were from… well, any civilized world in this galaxy, really. Had it not been for the harsh, tropic conditions, it'd be a decent place for a base, now that she thought about it.

As they waited, Rey just tried her best to not reach out and touch Hux. They both kept their distance, as if close proximity would tempt them too much. It was a good precaution, she knew, especially for her. At the same time, there was little to talk about. Rey didn't want to discuss the future, what would likely happen to him, and she doubted Hux did, too.

It seemed like an eternity when Rey heard the familiar hum of the _Falcon_. Her heart was hammering in her chest when she realized that _this_ was their end. This was it. All this time on this planet, suddenly over. Two X-Wings accompanied the ship—Poe, she figured, and this was confirmed when she noticed the unique orange and white droid, and Snips, probably. Rey stood next to Hux, her hands at her sides in fists to keep herself from touching him.

She at least granted herself another look at him before the ships landed. While the light in his eyes had been dying as soon as Rey contacted Luke, he suddenly looked _hopeless_ as he accepted the worst outcome that could come from this. It was like he accepted death, but with a defeated slump, rather than a proud head. It was like he had nothing to live for, that giving up now was more reasonable than fighting to the end. Rey couldn't leave Hux like this—couldn't say goodbye to this relationship and toss it aside like they were trying to.

And Rey knew how wrong it was, to throw her arms around Hux and crash her lips to his one last time, in front of everyone. She knew she was throwing away all her credibility to vouch for him when she kissed him with all she had, aware of his surprised expression, his eyes wide. Her hands threaded through his hair, ruining it all. If this was the end, she was making sure he had a last kiss they both deserved. And she couldn't leave this romance without being honest with him, with herself.

Her arms were still wrapped tight around his neck when she pulled up for air, trying to be unafraid for the both of them. "No matter what happens, just remember that I love you," she declared. Rey had never said those words aloud to anyone before—but she knew this was how she felt, and he had to know. He was shaking.

Hux didn't look at her; his frightened eyes focused solely on the ships landing on the soil. The roar of the engines was too loud for her to hear him, but as she read his lips, she could have sworn he replied with, "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You don't end a Reyux anything with me without there being a Han and Leia moment. And does this seem like a bit of a cop out if I said I wasn't truly done yet? Yes, this is the end I imagined for this fic, but I came up with three epilogues for this story, in different universes. They will be as their own one shots, with the appropriate tags to show just what would spark reader interest the most. Read all, read one, read none. But hopefully you've enjoyed this story! As always, never be afraid to discuss ideas with me.


	18. Epilogues

Hey guys! Just a friendly reminder that if you haven't read any of the epilogues for this fic, I'll link them here!

[Epilogue One: Resistance](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7892740)

[Epilogue Two: Miss You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7986670)

[Epilogue Three: Bind Your Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8182664)


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